Nine Weddings But Ours
by EllyLee-93
Summary: Jacob&Nessie are engaged! Great!But with nine different opinions,the wolves&Emmett doing the stag party,Jasper cooking,Alice Sewing,a Rouge witch,&a surprise! visit from a certain Jane&Alec,can the wedding ever truly be theirs? COMPLETED!
1. One: Proposals

**disclaimer:I do not own these characters/places/etc. Stephenie Meyer does. I've just taken what she's given me and have run with it.**

Nine Weddings But Ours...

One: Proposals

Hunting was in reality the only way to pass the time this lame, BOR-ing Saturday afternoon- Which is exactly what me and Jake did.

Call it odd, but half the time we went out and killed stuff together- no- not in the sadistic 'only to hear you scream, dear' way, but in the 'hunting for survival' kind of way. Even though me and Jake could survive perfectly well on human food, and it was always provided at the Cullen house hold. Scratch that- Billy had fallen from his wheel chair, and had broken his leg like a twig. Carlisle had insisted (and by that I mean had all but carried him out the door in handcuffs, kicking and screaming) that he move in with us, which gave Jake the perfect excuse to move in with Billy. So for now, it was the Cullen/Black/ supernatural central household.

Anyways, Jake and I were hunting as I said before. Deer were the choice of prey, mainly because it was tasty and the only thing available at the moment. We stood in the bushes, watching them graze in the open field in the middle of the woods- go figure. Esme had said that the land used to be crown land, and had been farmland for over four hundred years before it was abandoned and Esme fell in love with the ancient farm house (which she'd totally re-vamped, no pun intended). So I figured that the field was actually field, field.

I rested my hand on the wolf, aka Jake's fur.

I showed him our best tactic, by my eyes. I'd go left, quietly, and Jake would herd the deer into my waiting arms. I'd grab two, one in each arm. It was all we needed- if we took any more, there'd be no herd anymore to hunt. Jake growled, which I took as a yes.

"Good. So you understand me, then?"

He nodded.

"Great." Off I ran, silently and quickly. It turned out Vamp/human ( my version- Vamun) hibyrds were faster then the actual full blood vamps- so daddy and mum didn't stand a chance against me in any race. I quickly got to my position in no more then a second, without a twig breaking to alert the deer of our presence.

"One, two, three!" I whispered, knowing he'd hear me.

Jake burst out from the woods, snarling with glee at the running deer. They ran right on course, and I quickly caught one under each arm, and just as swiftly broke their necks, letting the others run terrified. Jake did his traditional 'laugh growl' that always signaled he was laughing inside.

"Which do you want?" I said, dropping the deer and sitting between them. Jake nudged the one on the left. "Fine, she's all yours." I dug into the other and drank deeply.

It was never as good as the human blood I'd have while nursing, but it was pretty close, everything considered. Jake announced he was done his meal by tearing the jugular out of the deer, which sprayed me with blood- staining my cream and pink stripped shirt with red.

"Why you-" I tackled Jake, and he rolled me over, licking my face like a puppy. I kneed him off me and was on my feet in an instant, Jake in a crouch.

"Race you to the river!" I was off in a flash, and Jake close behind me.

Sensing he was closing in, I swung up on a low hanging tree branch, and climbed my way to the woods, taking a shortcut.

But, sadly, by the time I got to the river, Jake was pacing beside it, human, at least in appearance, and clothed (thank god, or Daddy would kill him, quite literally). He seemed nervous. Deciding to surprise him, I swung soundlessly to a tree who's branches were above his path. I stepped down onto the nearest branch, and when he came close, I flipped down.

"Boo!" I cried out, upside down.

"Jesus Christ!" Jake jumped back, utterly shocked. Then when he saw it was me, he walked up and shook my shoulders playfully.

"You nearly killed me!" He cried in fake panic, and I laughed before swinging down to solid ground.

"You won."

"Yes. I did." His chest swelled with pride. I walked up to him, and pushed against his chest.

"Yeah, but that's only cause I tried to cheat, and it didn't work. So there!"

"So you admit to cheating, then?"

"I confess. Was I who did the horrible act!" I fake pleaded, "Please forgive me, oh great alpha!" That was what Seth and the others called him when he got all 'authority figure'.

"Well," Jake said in fake thought, "You do sound pretty remorseful, so I think I can cut you some slack... If..."

"If what?"

"If you marry me?" there was a pause here, followed by me shaking my head and replying, dumbly,

"Say what?"

"You'll be pardoned if you marry me."

"Serious?"

"Maybe." Jake reached into his pocket- and found nothing. "Ummm..."

"This is unplanned, right?"

"Yeah. So please answer yes/no, and then you and I can either find the ring, or you can just kill me for embarrassment."

"So this was planned?"

"No, not really. The entire 'redeem yourself' routine came to me only after you swung down from that tree."

"Oh. Huh," I think I'm in shock. "So, what was the original plan?"

"Oh, very soap opera, very posh, very cheesy, very-"

"Alice?"

"Yep pretty much."

"So you're, serious?" he nodded.

"Your line is 'yes of coarse I'll marry you, or, you can improvise with a 'how dare you, you flea bitten dog!"

"How about, I was gonna marry you seven years ago, but I was a newborn? That work?"

Jake thought for a moment.

"So that's a yes?" he said, slowly.

"Yes!" I jumped him, forcing him into a hug. Then, I kissed him frantically everywhere on his face. When done, I jumped down, and quite literally sang, "I'm getting married! I'm getting married!"

"Um, excuse me?"

"Sorry." I stopped, then started up again. "We're getting married, we're getting married! We're getting married!"

"That's better. Though," He looked sarcastically serious, "I should warn you,"

"What, pray tell?"

"Till you have a ring, nothing's set in stone."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"So... Retrace your steps?"

"It's our only hope!"

Finding the ring, that was easy. Getting past Alice, however...

"You have to let me plan it!" Aunt Alice came blurring out the front door the moment we came into sight. "I've seen nearly everything!"

"Aside from the parts involving Jake or me," I said.

"Which is basically everything to do with a wedding for us." Jake finished, taking the words from my mouth. They started to walk inside

"Yeah, yeah, I know," Alice said, once through the door,"But I did see me designing your dress! It's beautiful!"

"You mean it might be beautiful," Mum said from the couch. She was basically bouncing up and down on the couch.

"So you've heard I take it?" I said, smiling.

"Oh yes," Mum said, "I've heard all!" she jumped up, and rushed me into a bone crushing hug.

"Bella," Jake said, prying her off me, "I know you love, Nessie, but if you keep hugging her I'll only have a crushed-soda-can version of her to marry." Mum took the hit- and instead wrapped herself around Jake.

This time, it was Daddy who pulled her off of us.

"You're damn lucky, you know?" Daddy said.

"Yes, I do know that." Jake Wrapped his arm around me. "I've known it for for awhile now, too."

Daddy looked at me now, proud, but worried. "You know what you're getting into, right?"

"Dad!" I said, and that got chuckles from everyone in the room. Aunt Rose turned around on the back of the couch to face me. "You're first weddings the most touching. It'll have to be big!"

"Huge!" Esme chimed in, coming down the stairs happily.

"Plu-ease let me plan it!" Alice whined.

"I'm planning it!" Rose shouted.

"No, me!"

"I have the most experience, after all of Rose's."

"Plu-ease let me plan it!" Alice began chanting. This continued as Emmett hid under the pillows on the couch, and Daddy began playing the theme song from Jeopardy! As Mum pinched her forehead and shook her head before turning up the T.V. Carlisle- technically Grandpa, but that was weird- came bursting from his study, and screamed for order.

"What is going on?"

Everyone, even the men in the room, answered in sync. "Nessie and Jake are getting married!"

"What?" a smile spread across his face. "You two are getting married!" He rushed at me, and spun me into a lift, my head narrowly missing the ceiling as I laughed at the chaos surrounding. Then, once my feet were on the ground, Carlisle charged Daddy with a 'Move over', and they burst into the wedding march from a Midsummer Night's Dream, duet version. All the while, Alice, Esme and Rose were still at it, Mum was watching T.V. Turned onto 'Say Yes To The Dress' – turned up _waaaay _too loud, and Emmett was still curled up under the pillows.

"Oh god." Jake said, and I agreed.

The noise got to the point that the kitchen god even stepped from his layer in the kitchen, fried egg clinging to his chef hat and maple syrup all over his apron. He was armed with a rolling pin and a pancake flipper.

"What on earth is going on?" Jasper said, looking as menacing as Betty Crocker can be. Jake and I burst into laughter, on seeing him.

"Everyone is either angry, scared, happy, worried, or simply crazed." Uncle Jasper said this mainly to himself, then continued sternly. "What is going on?" everyone's eyes and ears shot up.

There was sweet silence for a moment. Then, chaos consumed again. There were seven different answers, all mainly saying "Nessie and Jacob are getting married!" then everything went back to as it was before.

The wolves must've heard the wedding bit, an in a moment were also crowding the living room. Seth and Leah, Quil, and Embry all came out, Leah wheeling Billy and his broken leg.

"You're getting married?" the boys shouted through pancake filled mouths, and rushed at Jake. The ensuing head locks and promises of 'a wild bachelor party' perked up Emmett's ears, and they were off making secret plans. Billy had wheeled himself over to the piano, and now he, Carlisle and Daddy were singing 'I'm Getting Married In The Morning' at the top of their lungs, Edward completely taken over the piano, playing it extra exuberance. I turned to Jake, put my hand on his arm, and showed him us, on the porch, out of this chaos.

We went out, and he sat on the porch swing. I curled up into his chest. I could hear Emmett and the wolf pack singing in the distance, 'You Better Shop Around.' sooooo like them.

"One things for sure," Jake said, kissing my hair.

"Hhmmm?" I asked, dosing off.

"This is only the beginning to a legendary wedding."

I burst into laughter.

"No shit!" I said, smiling. We fell asleep out there, the rest of our families oblivious to our leaving.


	2. To Be Tortured By Three Evil Aunts

Nine

Weddings

But Ours...

Two: In Which The

Hero and Heroine Are Subjected To The

Torture Of Three Slightly Evil But Still Lovable Aunts 

Alice burst into my room, sounding a fog horn and shouting through a loud speaker. "Get Up Get Up! And yes, it's four in the morning!"

I simply sat up, snored once, and fell backwards, sprawling once more across the king sized bed.

Alice, ever determined Alice, began flicking my forehead.

"Get up." flick.

"I am totally claiming you before Rose does." Flick.

"If you don't wake up," Flick.

"I'll show Jake," Flick.

"All your fashion model baby pictures!"

"What!" That got me up quickly.

"A-hah! I am victorious!" Alice shouted, "Jasper-" She clapped.

The next thing I knew, Jasper was beside my bed, dressed in a flowery pink apron and his hair coated in flour. He had a silver dolly cart with platters covered with silver covers. It was a breakfast from Beauty and The Beast. Ew.

Jasper cleared his throat.

"Today's main course consists of Eggs, scrambled as you like it, bacon, ham, sausage are the meat selections. For an appetizer we have oatmeal with extra brown sugar, cream and butter, and for dessert, silver dollar pancakes." As he said the food names, they were revealed from under the covers.

The drinks of choice are Apple Juice, Orange juice, Tea, and coffee."

Jasper looked proud.

"What do you think?" Jasper said, hopefully. I sighed.

"I think that Betty Crocker has finally taken over your brain."

"No," Alice said, laying her hand on Jasper's shoulder, "It's the radiation waves from the microwave oven." Jasper snorted and brushed her hand off.

"So?"

So... what?" I asked. Alice was always expecting me to be a step ahead. I was, usually, but not at this time.

"So can I plan your wedding?" I snarled

"I refuse to be bought with silver dollar pancakes!" I stabbed one with my fork and shoved in in my mouth, whole. "No matter how good they are," I looked at Jasper appreciating his talent.

"Cooking class, 1943." I stared at him, really? He rolled his eyes. "I was bored, and Carlisle wouldn't let be go into the army, I had to help the ladies in the kitchens." I hid a titter of laughter- but there was no hope in hiding emotions form dear uncle Jass.

"Oh really!" He said, and set all my food on a tray before me. "I'm off to my next appointed victim."

Alice stared at me the entire time I was eating, just begging for me to look up. I didn't.

Finally, she couldn't hold it in anymore.

"You have got to let me plan your wedding!"

"No."

"Errr..." Alice growled, her master plan foiled.

"I told you before," I said, sipping my orange juice. "I will not be bought with silver dollar pancakes."

Just then, Jake stuck his head around the door.

"Hey, um, Alice,"

"Yes?" Her eyes turned hopefully to him.

"If I say you can help with my half of the wedding, will Jass cook for me every day till it and after it?"

She nodded.

"Deal."

"Jacob Black!" Rosalie dashed up the stairs, hands on hips, and Jake cowered in the doorway to my room. "You said I could plan it if if re-vamped your rabbit again!"

"Er... Bye!" Jake bolted to my window, threw up the sill, and jumped

"Oh, you better run!" Rosalie jumped after him, smiling.

If Rose hadn't lost Jake's scent half way to Canada I would have never seen him again. He would be ripped to shreds in some dumpster in Seattle. But, thank god, Jake managed to get back my ten.

Which had given Esme plenty of time to half way talk me into letting her plan the wedding. We were sitting in her room, discussing everything- and I mean, _e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g..._

"If I plan it, I'll make everyone happy. Promise." It was like a job interview, only Esme was the interviewee, and I was the interviewer. It was... well, odd.

"Esme," I said, shaking my head slightly. "I really don't know."

"I was afraid it would come to this," Esme said, maybe looking really sad and rejected. Not!

She jumped up, and in an instant I was tied to the chair with that yellow, industrial rope.

"Esme what the hell?" I said, but she shushed me. Quickly, she grabbed the lamp from her desk, beaming it into my eyes.

"Who's planning it? Which one? Is it Alice? Rosalie? Or Bella, even? Please, please say it's not Emmett and the wolves, please!"

"Dude, you are totally about to blind me. Get that bloody vigilante sent light out of my face!"

"Oh, sorry!" Esme said, turning off the light. The world spun with blue and purple

spots. Esme's beeper when off.

" I have to go, I have an appointment with the interior designer."

"What are you renovating now?" I asked, rolling my eyes.

"Nothing- nothing of importance." Esme said. She started walking out of the room.

"Wait, aren't you gonna untie me?"

"You never told me who's planning."

"No one is." Esme shook her head.

"I can't believe that." She walked over to her closet, and opened the door. Then she walked over to me, and started pushing me backwards towards the closet.

"What are you doing, Gran?" I yelled, struggling against my bindings.

"It's for your own good, dear," Esme said, and pushed me into the closet. When she closed the door, it not only took my light but caused about five million ancient design plans to fall down on me, burying me in blueprints past.

"Esme?" I called, when the initial shock was over.

"Esme!" I was slightly panicked now.

I awoke to the sound of someone twisting the door handle.

"Esme!" I said, relieved.

But it was Carlisle. "Hello, Renesmee."

I sighed. "Carlisle, you have to help me! Your wife's holding me captive! Save me!" I cried out, and managed to nudge my chair forward a little. To my surprise and horror, he shook his head. He, Doctor Carlisle Cullen, humanitarian extraordinaire, would not get me out of the closet in which I was being held hostage.

"But I do have water," he smiled timidly, and I frowned. He held to bottle to my lips, and I drank, wishing it was blood of some kind- any kind, even chipmunks.

"You're on her side?" I asked when I had drained the bottle.

"No, but she made me promise to keep you here till she got back."

"Oh."

"Exactly in the same place you are now."

"Oh. Great. Just Great." He shut the door in my face- but at least he had the curtosy to leave the light on, for god's sake.

About an hour passed. Finally, I heard steps coming up the stairs, and then someone pacing in the office.

"You have him?" Esme asked.

"Yes." the voice on the other end said.

"Well, what do you want for him?"

"Nessie."

"She's mine!"

"Nope, we want her."

"I think we can come to some agreement..."

"Oh really?"

"Yes. Bring Jake to the living room, Rose."

I heard Alice's distinct laughter thanks to my fabulous sense of hearing.

The next thing I knew, Esme was standing in the doorway of the closet, beginning to pull me out.

"Thank god! I'm saved!"

"I'd hardly call it that." Esme said. She wheeled me out into the hallway, and then carried me- still in wheelie chair, down the steps.

In the living room was a thing I thought I'd never see.

Jake was wrapped from head to toe in a green tarp, duct tape covering most of it and binding him to one of the old kitchen chairs. Rose and Alice were holding him captive.

"I suppose a negotiation." Esme said.

"Oh good grief!" Jake said. None of our captors heard.

"I think we should let them each assign us a task for the wedding. That way, it will be fair."

Rose and Alice glanced at each other, and then in sync said, "Agreed."

"Good." I said.

"Great!"

"Now get my fiancee out of his human burrito suit!" I yelled.

The girl's finally managed to get Jake out of his burrito suit using every tool aside from a blowtorch- and that was a close call. Finally, Jake and I shared the love seat, and the entire family, wolf side included, was sprawled across the living room.

Alice and Jasper sat on the couch with Emmett and Rosalie- Alice and Rose were sitting together, muttering, and their mates look rejected. Esme sat in the armchair, and Carlisle stood beside her, Mum and Daddy sat at the piano, and Seth, Leah, Quil and Embry sat on the floor, Billy in his wheelchair sitting close by them, at Alice's feet.

"After a lot of consideration," I started,

"We have come to our decisions." Jake finished.

"Alice, you're on dresses and fashion." I said, and she Squealed and kissed a very surprised Billy Black on the lips.

"Hey!" Jasper said in protest, and she basically all but jumped him.

"Rosalie, you've got honeymoon as your domain." Jake said, wincing.

"I won't let you down, Captains." she saluted, and Carlisle sighed at her theatrics.

"Esme," I said, and she looked at me hopefully. "You are in charge of setting for the wedding." she held Carlisle's hand extra tight.

"Jasper," Jake said, laughter already seeping into his tone, "I'm sorry bro, but your breakfast convinced me. You have become Betty Crocker. But Betty Crocker happens to be catering the wedding." Jasper's eyes lit up. "Really?" we nodded, and Jasper beamed.

"Emmett, Quil, Seth, Embry, I cannot believe I'm saying this- but, you're in charge of the after party,"

"And my bachelor's party." the wolves and Emmett howled in approval- literally.

"Leah," I said, calling her attention. "Slap some sense in 'em before there's pole dancers at my wedding, please."

"Gladly." she slapped Quil right across the cheek.

"Ow! What the-"

"The bride told me to." Quil nodded and looked sheepishly downwards.

"Daddy," I said, and I saw dad's eyes were extremely hopeful. Absolutely begging for it. "You've got the music."

"Thank god!" he said, and kissed Mum for luck.

Carlisle and Billy." Jake said, "You've got invitations."

"Yes sir," Billy said, and high fived Carlisle- a new trick in what Billy called 'humanizing' him.

"We won't let you down, dear." Carlisle said, smiling.

"Mum," I said, "You have two jobs. First, keeping everyone in order, and second, keeping me the hell sane enough to walk down the altar."

Mum nodded lovingly.

"Everybody happy?" Jake said, and everyone agreed.

"Great." I stood up, grabbing Jake's hand and pulling him along. "Now if you'll excuse me, I haven't eaten all day-" I shot Esme and Carlisle a look, and they grinned sheepishly. "So I need to hunt."

"Come on, Jake." I said, and off we went.

"You do realize," Jake said, "That we have just handed over any creative control over our wedding to a bunch of eccentric, theatrical vampires and wolves!"

"Not all." I said, kissing him. "We still have my mum as a secret weapon."

"True say. Race you!" Jake took off, and I was after him in an instant.


	3. Questions,Sheer Insanity&Sruprise visits

Nine

Weddings

But Ours...

Three:Questions,

Sheer insanity

And Surprise Visitors.

I can honestly say that I have no idea what happened over the next week. Everything was wedding this, dress that, cake this, honeymoon this, club that, envelope this, etc. etc. etc. I was about to to insane when we hit a bump in the road.

Alice looked up from her Bridal Dress magazine with an expression of sheer shock and worry on her face.

"We completely forgot about the flowers!"

"Oh no." Jake said from the couch and his Cheeto's Cheezies.

At that exact moment, three things happened. One: Esme and Rose can running down the stairs, and Alice, Esme and Rose all said at the same time 'Can I do them'. Two: Jasper's experimental cooking set the smoke alarm off. Three: the door bell rang.

"I'll get it!" Esme said, running to the door.

"Hello?"

"Hi. I'm Anilise Parker. I'm here to see Carlisle, please."

"Sure. Who may I say is calling?"

"Ani!" the man of the hour rushed to the door, welcoming 'Ani'. "How have you been? Has anyone else bothered you? How long has it been, even?"

"Oh, about three hundred years, give or take." The girl Carlisle was showing in was not a vampire- so how was this possible?

"Oh, I'll explain that in a minute!" she turned to face me, answering my unknown question.

"And Carlisle, I'm here to reminisce in part, but also to give and get a favour, if you know what I mean."

"I know exactly, Ani."

"You're best to get everyone together for this, it works better this way."

"I remember."

A few minutes later, everyone was called from their place- Jasper quite notably covered in ashes and soot. We all sat around the newcomer, who was sitting between Carlisle and Esme, quite at ease with everything.

"Allow me to break the silence," Ani said, standing. "I'm Ani, and I've got some rather important things to tell you. First: I'm a witch."

"What?" was the universal cry.

"Yep. Go figure, huh?" Ani shrugged.

"You aren't serious," Rose said, and Ani laughed.

"I am. Ask Carlisle, here, he'll tell you." Carlisle nodded. "Anyways. You two," she pointed to me and Jake, "Are being hand fasted."

"Ani," Carlisle said. "It's marriage, these days."

"Oh! Really? Never the mind. You're getting married, and you need a florist. Enter me." Ani snapped her fingers and white roses fell on me and Jake.

"Gee, thanks." Jake said, spitting out a petal. She clapped twice and it disappeared.

"I'm your florist. In return, I only ask for a place to rest my head, food and water. I have a rather good green thumb, so it's well worth the time!"

"That's it?" Carlisle looked shocked. "For all the power it'll take to make the flowers?"

"Not entirely." Ani said, biting her lip. "See, the Volturi-"

"Time to leave." Jake went to get up, but I stopped him.

"The Volturi," Ani continued stubbornly. "Have decided that They want a union between your two houses So- I'm the one that comes before the two their sending."

"What?" Jasper said, and everyone was in shock. "Why?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Ani asked. "You to are getting married, hence, you'll have a babe on your knee in no more then two years, I'll bet. They don't know what the babe will be like, so they're hedging their bets."

"So are you with them?" Daddy asked.

"No. I'm neutral. Just the messenger." she raised her hands in surrender.

"Who are they sending?"

"Get this-" Ani said, laughing slightly. "Jane and Alec."

There was utter silence.

"Are you serious?" Alice shouted, which was exactly what everyone wast thinking.

Ani nodded yes. "You'll be getting a letter from Aro explaining everything soon. But back to me, cause I'm actually here." she smiled. "I just as room and board, and you'll have the best flowers around. Swear it."

"Do we really have a choice?" Jake asked.

"No, Not really." Ani said after a moment's thought.

"Then you're hired." I said.

"Great! Esme, will you show our new friend to her room?" Carlisle said.

"Of coarse." Esme said, and led Ani upstairs.

"What was that?" Emmett asked, and everyone looked to their neighbor for explanation.

"The Volturi are apparently coming," Alice said.

"Just Jane and Alec," Daddy said.

"And our house guest is a witch." Embry said, confused.

"Wait-" Jake said, sitting up straight. "Did she just clap and snap roses in and out of existence?"

Everyone said "Weird" at the same exact time.

"Is everyone over the general shock yet, or will the babble continue?" Carlisle asked, shutting everyone up. "In case you're wondering," He took Esme's vacant seat, "That was an old, old friend of mine, Ani. To cut a long story short, you all by now know that my father, though interesting, was not the kindest of men. He went around burning people he thought to be witches, and devils, werewolves," that got a few glances, "And vampires. Often, they were innocents- but once, he happened to be right. "

The witches that he discovered were white- good witches. They had actually turned in some of the meaner ones- the true evil ones- to us. But my father, when he knew of them, was blinded to their past kindnesses. Ani is the last surviving witch of that small family, because she was thirteen when discovered, and I managed to find some way or another of making my father spare her. But, because I am the last surviving member of the direct line, and she the only of hers, to repay family debt I simply have to help her when I can. She has never asked for much- this is actually the first time I've seen her in the last three hundred years. So, even if she brings news of the Volturi coming, she is here, and is to be treated kindly."

"Question," Seth raised his hand and Carlisle acknowledged him with a wave of his hand. "Why hasn't she aged."

"Ah. That's the rub. Her family laid a protection spell, ages ago, that should the bloodline die, the last of thier blood would have to take the blood of their killers family, or they would not pass on. I'm the only surviving of my line, and she of hers. Till she kills me she will remain thirteen. I've offered her my life time and time again, over the decades, but she always says she's meant to be here, as am I. But no matter."

Everyone was staring at Carlisle now, attempting to place reason in a place no sensible place would grow.

"So..." Alice said, as if it blanketed everything.

"So why didn't we know about this?" Rose demanded. Trust Aunt Rosie to really ask the good questions. Carlisle shrugged.

"There was no need in you all knowing until now. And really, we should take it as a blessing she's here- she's got tremendous power to protect us all, and make the wedding run smoothly."

"And do the flowers." Bella said, checking 'florist' off her list.

Esme came down the stairs then. She'd heard the conversation, they all knew it. She was followed shortly by a skipping Ani, her blonde curls bouncing as she took the steps two at a time.

She walked write into the living room, snapped her fingers and there appeared a chair. She sat, and after a pause of shock from everyone, said.

"So... Who want's Chineese?"

"Me!" the pack all said, and left with Jasper for the kitchen.

Ani stayed seated, and then said, "I know I take some getting used to, but I know we'll all get along. Jane and Alec won't be here for another two weeks, so we have some time."

"How do you know?" Alice said.

"I know because I had a vision of you having a vision and telling me 'you're right- this Friday'."

"You have visions too?" Alice said, finding a kindred spirit. Ani nodded.

"And I read minds," She nodded at Daddy, "And Shield," She looked at Mum. "I shift, and I can send stuff out." she looked at me and Jake.

"How?" Billy asked, his first words to Ani.

"I've had three hundred years of psychic training. That's how."

"Really?"

What are you doing? I asked Alice for the third time in an hour.

"Pinning your dress."

"To other fabric, or to me? Ow!" I screamed. She was killing me!

"Don't worry," Ani came in. "She can't actually kill you kill you."

"Hi Ani." Alice and I called.

"Hey. How to you feel about white roses? "

"I like 'em if they're pretty."

"Carnations?"

"I like 'em if they're pretty."

"White lillies?"

"I like 'em if they're pretty."

"Please! Is that all you're going to say? Have you no graces?"

"There's a reason I have everyone else planning my wedding, Ani. Can you guess why?"

"Well you're best to get flower girl flowers too, Ani." Alice said, snapping back from one of her visions.

"What did you see?"I asked, curious.

"Jane and Alec have quite the roll in your wedding, Nessie."

"They do?"

"Oh, oh yes!"

"No way!" Ani said, reading my aunt's mind.

"What?"

"How are we going to get her to _wear_ that?" Alice asked Ani, and Ani shook her head.

"I'm more nervous for Alec's role."

"Role it WHAT?" I yelled.

Alice and Ani gave me the most innocent look ever.

"Nothing." they said in unison, and Alice went back to pinning me senseless and Ani to plant rose bushes.


	4. In Which Everything Is Burning

Nine

Weddings

But Ours...

Four: In Which

Invitations Are

Burning, Cake is Burning,

And My Freaking Sanity is Burning

"Tell me we'll survive this." Jake says, and I shake my head.

"I said I'd never lie to you, didn't I?"

"But I won't hold you to it this time, promise!" I shook my head.

"We Could die in there."

"Then at least we die together." Jake took hold of my hand, and I took a deep breath. I could do this...

"Oh for gods' sake!" Ani cries, watering the flowers she has growing at an amazing rate for being planted two days ago. "You're going in the house for a cake testing! NOT THE APOCLIPSE!" Ani was tired of out thoughts being turned to poisonous fillings, exploding icing and foul milk.

"You have obviously never entrusted an entire town's health on a guy that thinks all food tastes the same!" Jake hollered back.

"Yeah! WE can be poisoned too, you know." I pointed out. The water turned off for a second.

"True..." Ani said, and then started watering again.

"Here we go..." Jake said, and opened the door.

We walked to the kitchen.

"Here you are!" the sight of my uncle- _the uncle that had been in the _military_ for god's sake- _in a pink apron and that chef hat, his orange halo of hair kept up with a _hair net_ even, was enough for me to laugh at. I couldn't help it, and neither could Jake, when I sent him the image of the 'youngest major in Texas' commanding his army with a cooking spoon, his uniform covered with flour and the same pink apron.

"Ha ha ha." Jasper laughed. "Laugh if you will, but remember- it's me, and only me, that will know what goes into your cake." we sobered up. "That's better." Jasper turned, and brought forth a lovely white cake, thee tiers, each with beautiful pearl accents and patterns, the traditional figurines placed at the top.

"This cake is chocolate icing, covered over with melted white chocolate. The details are piped by hand and the pearl accents applied as well, but hand." he cut the first piece from the cake, showing us the insides.

"The cake itself is vanilla, with real strawberry preserves filling. Which, and do not tell this to anybody, actually was my great aunt Sibil's receipie from 1812."

"Really?" I asked. He nodded.

"Wow. And of all the things you've kept of the years,"

"War trophies, medals,"

"Swords, ears of enemies,"

"Authentic uniforms,"

"You kept the strawberry preserves recipe from 1812?" me and Jake said in sync.

"What's wrong with that?" Jasper said, oblivious, and deathly serious.

"Nothing." Jake quickly said.

"Right answer." I was wondering when the army buff would kick in.

Jasper offered us each a fork and we took a taste. I was delicious.

"Well?" Jasper said, like an old biddy at the shortbread competition. "How is t?"

"Damn heavenly!" Jake said, and I nodded. Jasper smiled. He turned, and brought out the next.

"This cake has a cream colored vanilla icing with a bit of lime zest. The white lacework of sheet icing is cut by hand, and the single tier makes room for more detail, such as figures, and apple pieces." He cut the cake, and set the piece on a paper plate before us. "The bottom and lop layers are chocolate and vanilla marble, the center layer being apple cake, authentic recipe."

"From where? Grandma's cupboards?" Jake couldn't hold it in any more.

"No." Jasper said, stabbing the fork into the cut piece of cake. "From trenches at Gettysburg, Civil war. Given to me my the last man in my command left alive. His sweetheart had made it before he left, and he dreamed of it when he went hungry for days on end, traveling from camp to camp."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

We ate the cake.

"How is it?"" Jasper asked, hopeful again.

"Amazing." Jake said.

"Good grace!" I said in praise. Only the food in my mouth made only the 'grace' audible, so basically we'd said Amazing Grace, another civil war pun... damn!

"I didn't mean that one."

"I know." Jazz turned for the last cake. "This cake is four tiers, each layer has lace work, similar to the last, only in black or brown. The top of the cake has traditional figures, but the best thing is the white drapery traveling down the layers of cake." he cut it. "The inside is black forest cake, with a little twist. Instead of cherries, its wild berries." we tried the cake, and were amazed.

"It's-"

"It's-"

"Stunning."

"Glorious!"

"Really that good?"

"Hell yes!" Jake said. "That is bloody fabulous, Vampette Crocker!"

Jasper scowled, and we laughed. He untied the apron strings at his back, took off the chef hat and hair net, and stared at us.

"You have three miliseconds to run."

We took his warning.

When we returned, Jasper ran into the kitchen to preset the oven for dinner, leaving Jake and I to wander in on what had to be the interrogation scene of the century.

Carlisle had Emmett held by the shoulders, forcing him to sit. Billy Black was lighting and re-lighting a lighter close to Emmett's hair.

"Now, Emmett." Carlisle said, the angriest I'd ever heard him be. "You will tell us, and you will tell us now."

"Where did you put them?" Billy held the flame dangerously close to Emmett's extremely flame-prone hair.

"I'll never surrender. You'll just have to kill me." Emmett said, defiantly.

"Where are they? Where are they?" Billy and Carlisle began to chant/scream at uncle Emmett. Till finally, Carlisle broke. He fell to his knees.

"Please." He begged. "Please. We have sat here for five hours writing and rewriting every single address in this pea town. We've sealed them, and even had to kiss them with lipstick on because Esme said it would look more personal. I have nearly come to tears fighting with the man in Seattle over the phone about how we wanted engraved but got printed. Billy had had to lick so many stamps I had to vaccinate him against glue poisoning. GLUE POISONING! IT WAS THE FIRST, AND THE LAST TIME I AM INJECTING ANYONE'S TOUNGE WITH DISINFECTANT! Where are the invitations?"

And with that, the sprinklers went off throughout the house.

"Call the fire brigade!" Jasper called from the kitchen, and we all got there in time to see Jasper throw open the oven door, letting black smoke curl though the air, blinding me from everything. I could hear Jasper's frantic sprays with a fire extinguisher and his southern curses- all the more pronounced with his now prominent southern accent.

When the smoke cleared, everyone was in the kitchen. Jasper reached in, an pulled out one of the masterpiece cakes, destroyed.

"Who in the name of God put my cakes in a pre-heating oven!"

"He did it!" Seth, Embry, and Quil all said and pointed at each other. Jasper grabbed Embry by the collar.

"They were bloody culinary masterpieces! How could you?"

"Um, dad," Emmett said, turning to Billy and Carlisle, " I should probably tell you this.."

"Oh no!" Billy and Carlisle said, already one step a head. Carlisle wheeled Billy over and with amazing speed the two sifted through the ashes at the bottom of the oven.

"The invites!"

"All those kisses!"

"All the licking of those damn stamps!"

"Gone to waste!"

Carlisle stood up, looking as dignified as any English born man with traces of lipstick on can be, and cried out, "CAN NONE OF YOU BLOODY WELL TELL WHEN A DAMNED OVEN'S ON?"

"Oy, mates!" Ani called, drawing Billy, Jasper and Carlisle's attention. "Get a grip o yer selfs!" she snapped her fingers and the ashes and burned cakes vanished. The kitchen was spotless, free of the odd little melodrama that had just occurred.

"Ye'd think ye a bunch a hags to be married!" Ani called, and went back to her flowers.


	5. To Invite, Or To Not Invite?

Nine

Weddings

But Ours...

Five: To Invite,

Or To Not Invite?

"Now," Billy said, from his place across the dining room table from Jake and I. Carlisle say beside him, and I between us all were piles and piles of invitations. "We have serious decision to make."

"What?" I asked, truly not knowing what would happen next.

"We got the letter Ani predicted." Carlisle said. "And it seems that Ani and Alice are right- Jane and Alec are coming. The other thing is- Aro seems to have invited himself to the wedding."

"What?" Jake said, shocked.

"Well, this is the thing," Billy said. "Should we send an invite, or just send no acknowledgment of their coming?"

We looked at Carlisle expectantly.

"Amazingly enough, there was no etiquette course for vampire weddings in the last three hundred years. Don't look at me!"

"So, do you think we invite them anyways?" I asked.

"Are they gonna kill our guests?" Jake asked, worried.

"I don't think so. And Jane and Alec will be the only guards needed."

"So do we invite them?"

"We have no choice." Billy and Carlisle said in sync.

"Then invite them." I said. "We can handle a few old timers."

"Just remind them to bring their walkers." Jake said.

"Also," Carlisle said, and Billy finished.

"We have to decide if we're inviting Charlie and Renee."

"Charlie's cool with everything. If he arrives before the Volturi, we'll be fine."

"Renee, though..." I said.

"We know." Carlisle agreed. "So she's not coming, then?"

"I guess not."

"Kay," Billy began wheeling away. "I'm going to get the dogs who destroyed the invites."

"Are they helping with the invite now?"

"Oh yes." Carlisle's face was priceless. "And they will pay dearly."

"Great."

"But we need you to stay around."

"Why?" Jake asked.

"You need to sign the invites, and if you like, help envelope them."

"Why not? As it is our wedding." I say.

Billy returned with Quil, Seth, Emmett and Embry in tow. Leah was behind them, with a box full of red lipsticks.

"We had to kiss over ten thousand invitations." Billy said.

"And that does not include the ones going to the amazons, the Denali's, my Irish friends, or my Egyptian ones. Or the people from work."

"We are not re-kissing five thousand invitations!" Billy said, threateningly.

"So we are?" Seth said, picking up a tube of lipstick.

"Yes."

It was odd, to see Emmett, Seth, Quil and Embry in red lipstick. Odder still was when Leah had to apply it to some of them, and then stand watch an reapply when needed. Carlisle and Billy wrote the invites out, handed them to Jake and I to sign, and then we passed them to the next available kisser.

We talked as we worked, mainly about who was going to school in September. Rose, Emmett, Daddy and Mum were all going to 'high school' again, same with Seth. Leah, Embry and Quil were going to work in the auto shop. They were 'living' in the house beside the Cullen Abode. Alice and Jasper were going to Collage again at The University Of Northern BC , this time Alice for art and Jasper for Culinary studies. This topic finally being exhausted, the conversation then turned to Quil's imprint, who had stayed on the reservation when we moved here to Prince Rupert, BC. He missed her terribly, but she was only nine now. She needed to grow up, and really, so did Quil.

Ani came in, took one look at Emmett with lipstick on and burst out laughing.

"Enjoying yourselves?" She asked.

"No." the boys all said.

"You will be pleased to know that Esme had decided on the date, and theme of your wedding. She's off telling Alice, Jasper, Rose and Ed, so we're all on the same page."

"What is it?" I asked, wearily.

"Get this," she paused dramatically. "You, vampire/human, and you, wolf boy, are getting hitched on Halloween."

The wolves and Emmett howled.

"Great taste, mom!" Emmett called, and Embry, Seth and Quil made various comments of agreement.

"For your information," Esme said, coming though the front door. "It was the only date available for this one, to die for location. I am not completely tasteless!"

"Of coarse dear," Ani said, "Whatever you say."

"So I have a Halloween themed wedding?" Jake asked.

"Yep-o." Ani said, smiling and sitting down.

"You can help if you want," Seth said, offering her his lipstick.

"Oh no," Ani said. "I think I'll pass."

Everyone lapsed into conversations with their neighbors, excepting Billy and Carlisle, who were deathly serious about anything and everything to do with invitations after the last mishap. Carlisle did hum under his breath, and Billy unknowingly slightly nodded to the beat. It was nice to see them get along, because it meant that the lines of "Jacob's Family' and "Renesemee's family' were getting blurred, to become 'Our Family."

Ani noticed Carlisle's humming as well.

"You remember that song?" she said in amazement.

"Of coarse. You taught it to me when recovering from the burns."

"Oh I remember." Ani said. "Can you still play the lute?"

"I think," Carlisle said, thinking. "It's been awhile."

"You play the lute?" Billy asked, shocked.

"What's a lute?" Quil asked, confused.

"We'll have to see if we can remember the words some time." Ani said, ignoring their questions.

"Yes, though I must ask, do you recall who wrote it?"

"John Dowland, I think," Ani replied.

"How could I forget!"

The two started in on a detailed discussion of the sixteen hundreds, and Jake and I listened in partly.

_We can not miss Carlisle and Ani singing together, _I sent to Jake.

"Totally." Jake said, nodding once.

It took three hours, but at long last we were done the invitations. This put the time at Four PM, so Carlisle left for his night shift at the Prince Rupert Regional Hospital, the Jake and the pack went out running, Billy fell asleep, and Emmett went off to find Rosalie. This left me and Ani to entertain each other.

"So..." She said.

"So..." I answered.

"You wanna watch a movie?" She asked, hopeful.

"Sure. Why not?" I said.

We went into the kitchen, and after promising Jasper seven times that we knew how to work a microwave popped some pop corn.

After that, we settled down in Emmett's home theater with every junk food imaginable and watched "Ten Things I Hate About You". We laughed uncontrollably at all the jokes, just like two pretend to be teens were suppost to.

It was at the end that Ani showed her age. As the credits rolled, the band on the roof top played "I want you to want me".

"I love this song!" I said, and turned it up.

"It's okay, but the original's better. Remember when it came out?" Ani said.

"Err.. no."

"What? It was on all the radio stations for months!"

"When?" I would've remembered that...

"Seventy seven!" then it hit her. "Oh."

"Yeah. I was born in Two thousand eight."

"Huh." We lapsed into silence again, and Ani didn't speak till the screen was black. "See, our problem is that I seem to young, and you seem to old."

I laughed, once, and harshly. "Oh ain't that the truth!" We laughed together again, the mood friendly once more.

It was amazing how quickly Ani had become one of the family. She cooked with Jasper, ran with the wolves, talked doctor with Carlisle, music with dad. She was Alice and Rosalie's living doll, and Esme's design adviser, plus Mum's help at building up her shield. And, I now realized, she was the closest thing I was ever going to have to a girl my age.

Ani, reading my mind as always, said. "I know. I'm like the skeleton key to all your hearts."

She couldn't have put it better.


	6. The Honeymoon Episode &The Esme Escapade

Nine

Weddings

But Ours...

DISCLAIMER: I don't own any characters, places, etc. in this story. Stephine Meyer does. I just took where she left her story(ies) and ran with it).

Six: The

Honey Moon Episode

And The Esme Escapade

"You have to at least attempt to act serious!" Aunt Rose told us sternly for the third time.

"We are trying!" Jake defended.

"But you just make it so _hard._" I said, amazed at how serious Rosalie was about this.

"Fine. Let's begin again." She sighed, and asked for the third time. "Swimming or sunbathing?"

"Both." Jake and I answered. Rosalie raised her eyebrows.

"We'll swim till I'm tired,"

"Then lie out in the sun and attempt to breath."

"Fine. Your party- literally." Rosalie laughed under her breath, and then was deathly serious again. "Cottage or resort?"

"Depends." I answered, after a glance at Jake.

"How so?"

"If the resort is all spa and daycare, I'll never see Nessie accept between perms and manicures."

"True. So Cottage then?"

"Depends on where it is, really."

"Okay then. Summer or Winter?"

"If we're baking in heat, it won't be good," I answered, thinking of how Jake overheated so easily sometimes.

"And if we're freezing cold, we might come home with frostbite in all the wrong places."

We laughed till Rosalie's cold stare chilled us to the bone.

"Traditional or modern?"

"In between, I think."

"Yeah, I like old stuff as much as you do, but I cannot survive without TSN or Much."

"Or radio,"

"Or DVDs,"

"Or Bluray,"

"Or internet,"

"Or phones,"

"Or..."

"Okay I get it!" Rosalie screamed. "You're from the digital age! Great! Now SHUT UP!" she pounded her open hand on the table, making us both jump. "Now," Rosalie said, calming down. "Close to home or far away"

"Between."

"Close enough that we can drive home reasonably quickly, but too far for 'surprise' visits from parents."

"I get it. Okay then, what are you planning to do?"

that one raised eyebrows, and Rose rolled her eyes. "Not like that. Hunting? Swimming? Boating? Snorkling? Skiing?"

"That all greatly depends on where we are," Jake said, just to annoy Rosalie. She growled.

"I'll do all of those, side from snorkling." I said, trying to save the situation.

"Great." Rose said, smiling "That narrows down the list enough to be workable. Now, how long do you want to stay?"

We thought about that one, with no reasonable answer.

"So open ended ticket?" Rose asked, and we nodded. "Alright then! Do you think I should have a budget?"

"Is there any point in giving you one?" I asked, knowing my aunt well enough to already know the answer. Rose thought, and then answered.

"None at all."

"Didn't think so," Jake said, standing. "Are we done here?" Rose nodded.

"So we can leave?" I asked, cautiously standing.

"Yes. Go see Esme, she's in need of you two."

"Okay then." We walked out, hand in hand. "See you later."

Esme stared at us from across her desk.

"So?" She asked, eyes hopeful.

"So?" I said, slowly.

"So aren't you going to ask me about your wedding?" she was so excited, her honey eyes literally sparkled.

"I thought it was a secret..." Jake said, hinting that everyone had shut up, so she had to too.

"Yes, it is... But I can tell you a few things... Do you want a traditional wedding, or a modern one? Or a comic one? Or-"

"Traditional." Jake said. We'd discussed this before. Esme looked surprise. I sighed and explained.

"We have three people from the 1920's, one from the 1800's, one from the 30's, a 2000s and two 1635's, not to mention guests from 1000 BC- we need traditional."

"I was hoping you'd say that!" Esme said, smiling. "Because everyone's already in that frame of mind. You've got history scattered all through your wedding- catering recipes from 1865, a traditional wedding dress, Elizabethan flower symbolism, traditional Latin wedding bands, original 1900's music, a venue build in 15-"

"Stop right there!" I said.

"It's a surprise," Jake reminded, gently.

"I know," Esme said, slightly embarrassed. "It's just it's so exciting! I'll be a great grandma soon!"

Daddy was walking down the hall to hear that one, and I heard him mutter "I hope not..."

"So what do you think, though?" Esme asked. "Does it suit?"

"At this point, Essie," Jake said, using his nickname for his mother figure, "It doesn't really matter, does it?"

"I suppose not..." Esme said. "But oh! It will be perfect!" Esme said, gleefully.

"Am I allowed to pick my brides maids?"

"Already done. Rose, Alice, me and even Leah and Ani."

"And mine?" Jake asked, expecting the worst...

"The pack, of coarse, and Emmett."

"Who's giving me away"

"That's the thing. See, Edward can't- he looks younger then you, and Carlisle would think it an insult to him to walk you up when he's there. So, your father's doing music, and Carlisle's doing lighting."

"Lighting!" Jake and I said together.

"I'll need lighting?" I asked, amazed.

"Yes- it's at night."

"Great." Jake said, dramatically. "So not only to vamp girl and wolf boy get married on Halloween, but it's at night!"

Esme looked down, crossing her arms. "The place is perfect. I can't help the date I could get it on..."

"But you could've helped the time." I said, yet she shook her head.

"No. Alice insisted that it be at night- she said the lights would make you shine like an angel."

"So I'm an angel?"

"No. No costumes." Jake said firmly.

"Of coarse not! We have _some _taste! You'll be an angel because your dress is simply breathtaking, and everything else you'll wear is-"

"Surprise?" I reminded her.

"Sorry!" Esme said, innocently, "I've never been able to keep secrets..."

"You've kept some," I said, hoping.

She shook her head "Nope. I've never had to, what with how everyone hears everything around here."

"So why don't we already know about the wedding and everything?"

"We've been very, very careful..."

"I see..."

We went out hunting again. For all the 'everyone's doing the wedding for you' it was stressful to think of exactly what Alice would be making me wear, or what Jake's bachelor party was to include. Sure, Leah was helping to keep them in check, but what she didn't know about, she couldn't help with. Plus, for all of Ani's amazing gifts, she sided with Alice on everything about fashion- so she was only encouraging my aunt's amazing, if unrealistic, fashion sense.

Maybe it was because I was distracted, maybe just because the universe has a twisted sense of humor, but when I was taking a break from running, I heard a scampering above me.

I looked up, puzzled...

Big mistake. An already terrified chipmunk pounced on my face, it's little teeth doing all it could to rip into my flesh. It couldn't, of coarse, but it did a damn good job trying.

I screamed, scathing at it.

The little thing's mouth wrapped around my finger, still trying to bite. When I pulled it off one hand, it latched onto the other. As a last result, I ended up biting it.

Which brings us to the current times.

"Amazing," Carlisle was still saying, looking into the fish tank. "Simply amazing..."

The chipmunk, or "Chippy" as Uncle Emmett had dubbed it, had miraculously survived- and managed to transform. It' beady little eyes were now a demonic red, and it was running and jumping at the side of the glass, trying to get at Carlisle's face. " I can't believe it."

He dashed around to his desk, and quickly began writing. "You say that it transformed as soon as it was infected?"

"Yeah." Jake said, holding out his arm, which had bite marks and scratches all up and down it.

"This is very interesting- we didn't think Nessie had any venom in her,"

"I guess I do," I said, adding it to the freak power list.

"And the chipmunk doesn't, I suppose? Judging by the fact that Jacob's still alive."

"Yep. The venom killed wolves, normally, so we got lucky."

"We should probably disinfect those cuts, too." Carlisle said, flitting to Jake and examining his arm. "After all, it is a wild animal."

Chippy hit himself against the glass so hard it fell backwards, stunned.

"You can say that twice." Jake said, looking at it hatefully.


	7. Attempt'n2 B Sane is Totally Out O Style

Nine

Weddings

But Ours...

DISCLAIMER: I don't own any characters, places, etc. in this story. Stephine Meyer does. I just took where she left her story(ies) and ran with it).

Seven:

Attempting To

Be Sane is Totally Out Of Style

We had a week and two days before the so called witch twins arrived. Carlisle as taking precautions,and buying gallons of donated blood from the internet. He was feeding Chippy mice- live, which he bought at the local pet store. After the first few visits to get over fifty mice, they assumed his story about a pet snake was true- even if it was a Godzilla snake.

It was, also, the day my aunts, uncles and parents were going back to school, including Ani. She'd said she hadn't been to school since the seventeen forties, and that she'd never actually learned anything then but a heck of a lot of sewing and embroidery knowledge. Alice and Jasper had only a minutes walk (human speed) to get to the collage, so Jasper still had time to cook breakfast for me and the other semi human people ( Jake, assorted wolves, and Ani). Then, Jake, Embry, Quil and Seth all left for their jobs at the auto shop in town, and that left Leah and I in the giant house.

Literally minutes after we'd finished loading the dishwasher, Leah collapsed on the couch, exhausted.

"Why are you so tired?" I asked, concerned.

"Oh. Following the wolves and Emmett around, saving your wedding- it's exhausting, seriously. I mean, they never stop!"

"Of coarse not, that's why I'm not doing it." I replied, getting laughter from the two of us.

"So what are you doing throughout this entire ordeal?" Leah asked.

"Leah, even if I wanted to plan it myself, you know they wouldn't let me. Think of how Alice alone would react to that!"

"I know," Leah sighed. "Honestly, you'd think they're Italian."

"I'm there baby," I said in defense. "They, all of them, were really big when I was younger. Jazz kept me happy, Esme, Rose and Mum mothered me to no end, Daddy was really protective, and even Emmett did his best to keep me smiling. Not to mention all the other people who gathered 'round me like I was a magnet."

"Even the wolves adored you, you know." Leah said, chuckling. "You were a cute baby."

"I know." I started walking to my room. "We have enough photos to prove that!"

Her laughter wafted up to my ears as I walked up the steps to my room. I didn't exactly know what I had planned, but I knew I didn't want to be in those big, empty rooms alone. Sure, Leah was there, but I could tell she needed sleep. Emmett was running her into the ground.

I couldn't get to sleep again, I'd tried that before and it had never really worked. So, as there was nothing else, I sat down at my desk, and turned the screen of my computer on. I clicked my iTunes link and put on Areosmith- I Don't Want To Miss A Thing. It was really amazing, how much music I had. I had inherited my father's love for tunage, so I had records, gramophone discs, sheet music from symphonies composed in 1835, CDs, eight tracks, tapes, digital downloads, everything, really. I knew the lyrics or music by heart- I'd been listening to them since I was born, really- and even before that a bit.

I just sat back and listened to the notes float by, whispering traces of times I'd never known. Music really spoke to the heart, it was the natural ambiance of choice to every part of someone. I thought of how effective my father's playing was, how basically everyone in the household would stop to listen for a moment or two, if not for the entire piece. Somehow, when he played his own composition, it was even more effective, more... well heartfelt, I guess. Daddy had taught me to play too, when I was 'old enough'. I could still play, though compared to him I was really nothing. I often wondered, if he hadn't been turned, if he was still human, what his future would've held in store for him. Would I, someone else's daughter, some one normal's daughter? Would I be listening to his music, and thinking the same things?

I started to doze off, dreaming of pasts and the futures they would've become. Would Carlisle have still been a doctor? If he hadn't been turned, Ani might be dead by now- not to mention the thousands of patients- people- he'd saved over the years, my father being among them, along with Esme, and Emmett, and Rose, even.

Esme would've died. And she was such a beautiful person, so, so kind and gentle and sweet. She truly was a mother to every soul she'd ever met over the years. And Rose, she had always thought she'd be happy, human, back with Royce. But, would she have been, really? He would've abused her, she would've had a drunk husband half the time, with friends just like him. How long could their riches last, under those contexts? How many women would he have hurt, if not killed, if she had not been turned and killed him, along with his friends? Even Emmett would've had a bleak future. Had he survived the bear's attack, he would've been maimed terribly, and knowing him like I did I knew he wouldn't have been happy like that. He would have maybe even killed himself.

Even Jasper and Alice were better off the way they were. Jasper, he suited this life- it was a struggle, sure, but it was a challenge. Jazz loves a challenge, and if he hadn't been changed, my family and the wolves would be dead from the Battle Of Vicky Newborn, as I called it. And Alice would be so alone...

Alice too, would've had a terrible life. She would've rotted in a cell in an asylum, no one heeding her words as the actual truth. Here, amongst our little freak show, she was at least nearly normal.

No, no matter what Carlisle or Daddy, or any of the others thought about being soulless, evil things, I'd never believe it. I do think that some of our ( well, really their) kind are truly evil, but in reality, to be pure evil you have to have a spark of light in you- just not pay attention to it. Same with being good, like Carlisle or anyone else- to be good you have to have a bit of darkness about you, to remind you of exactly why you want to be good. Sure, normal people, humans, don't have an actual evil blood lust to kill innocents, but with every other sense exaggerated on vampires, I think it only makes sense that we'd have a bigger evil to fight against.

It reminded me of what Esme called Carlisle. Her angel. Really, we all were angels- all fallen, but some at least trying to get back to paradise. It was all of us, humans and wolves included.

My philosophical ramblings were interrupted by a fierce knock on my door.

"Nessie," Leah said, worried and totally terrifying. "Nessie!" her voice was close to panic now, and she started rattling the door handle.

"Good grief woman!" I said, pulling open the door, which Leah promptly fell through into my arms.

"What is wrong?" I said, looking at her completely terrified, survival ready face.

"It's Chippy," Leah said, lurching from my arms and searching the my room at an amazing, if not detailed, speed. "He's not in his cage!"

"That is a problem..." I said, realizing her panic.

"Did Carlisle determine whether or not he was human hungry?" I asked, as Leah took off down the hall and I followed. She was so hyped up that she slid down the banister of the staircase, and I, understanding her panic, followed suit.

"He didn't," she said, walking into Carlisle's office. "But I did..." She held up one of the mutilated donated blood packs, totally and utterly ripped to shreds.

"Oh no!"

Leah nodded, crazed and walking out of the room again, to the front door.

"Would it have gone to the road?"

"Maybe, but I think it's pretty smart now. The best way to find it is to let me get the scent."

"Okay," I said, and Leah walked into the dining room.

A few seconds later, Leah wolf was by my side, sniffing the house. Then, she suddenly shot towards the door. I opened it in time, and off we ran, Leah leading.


	8. Who Knew Chipmunks Could Be That Evil?

Nine

Weddings

But Ours...

DISCLAIMER: I don't own any characters, places, etc. in this story. Stephine Meyer does. I just took where she left her story(ies) and ran with it).

Eight: Who Knew

Chipmunks Were_ That _Evil?

"What on earth happened?" Carlisle asked, his face one of true concern. We what walked through the door, half carrying each other, metal dog cage between us.

"You don't want to know." Leah said, as we sank into the couch. She set the dog cage on the floor, and kicked it, sending it skidding to Carlisle's feet. "That thing has to be destroyed!"

He knelt down, and looked into the cage. Chippy jumped at his hands, snarling and shaking the cage dramatically.

"Why is Chippy in here?"

"Well," Leah said, just too tired for civilty. "If he had've been killed when made he wouldn't be in there, would he?" She was so passionate with her hate for Chippy and related saviors that she was about ready to draw blood.

"Leah, let me tell this story." I said, pushing her rigid frame back into the seat of the couch.

"Chippy," I spat the word, eying the metal cage with sheer malice. "Escaped his fish tank. And, to our horror, he'd managed to completely consume all you donated blood bags. That meant he liked humans, and he was not gonna have proper judgment- being a Chipmunk and all. Leah caught his scent, and we ran off to find him. And then..."

"It started to rain, and lighting flashed in the heavens and the sky opened up and and god said, 'eternal evil be gone!' and down fell Chippy!" Leah said, laughing hyserically.

"Is she in shock?" Doctor mode is always fun...

"No. That's what happened, seriously- well, except the god part.. Chippy can fly."

"What?"

"Well, we have talents- so a vampire chipmunk could too, right? Chippy can fly!"

"Oh," Carlisle was amazed, you could see him thinking of all the studies he'd do. But, he snapped back relatively quickly in comparison to some of his exminations. "So,what happened then?"

"The rest, thank god," Leah said. "Is history! Nessie and I chased Chippy- _flying _Chippy, all through the woods. He's really fast, by the way. He ended up on the freeway. Chippy, the chipmunk stopped flying and landed on the road just as a group of tree huggers drove by. Drove over him. Chippy, of coarse, was not killed, or even injured for that matter, but they rushed him to the chipmunk ER."

"So you went to the vets?"

"No. The chipmunk ER. Literally." I said. Carlisle was looking at the two of us like we were insane. "I kid you not. There is a chipmunk ER in Victoria. So, the treehuggers got on the farie, and carted a very stable Chippy to the chipmunk ER."

"They're the ones who donated the dog cage after Chippy landed a well placed bite in their pleather seats." Leah added.

"So I had to swim across, Leah as well, so we could get to Victoria."

"And then, we had to get into the ER. So, Nessie bought a dog collar."

"No way..." Carlisle's face was now doubting our sanity more then ever."

"I walked Leah into the chipmunk ER."

"We said that I was a chipmunk injury detecting dog, or something like that."

"We got in, and there was Chippy, fighting with all his immortal Chipmunk strength against five nurses, two vets, and the treehuggers."

"When we came in and asked for the chipmunk, they all but gave it to us with a bundle of roses!" Leah said, laughing.

"So... This actually happened?" Carlisle was amazed.

" Oh, it's so not over!" I said. "Then, we had to get him back. We couldn't swim with him, so I had to go into a bathroom, pretending that Leah was a seeing eye dog, and with a dog cage under my arm! I went in the stall, Leah deshifted and guarded Chippy. I, knowing that they would notice me if I didn't have the dog cage and Leah anymore, jumped out the bathroom window. I went to the nearest clothing store, bought the cheapest stuff I could and then took it back to Leah."

"When I was changed, we hailed a taxi, and took the farie home."

"That still doesn't explain why you're like this." Carlisle gestured to our ragged, bloodied appearance.

"Oh," Leah said, smiling cruelly. "That's because Chippy nawed a hole through the dog cage and escaped on the farie."

"He, being a flying chipmunk took off, so we jumped ship and swam to find him."

"He bit us black and blue! He's an evil little chipmunk!"

"We had to steal a dog cage from the top of a stopped car."

"Nessie!" Carlisle said in disaproval.

"I left a fifty!"

"Anyways, there's the Chippy story." Leah said, and collapsed into snores for the second time in a day.

"Are you honestly trying to tell me," Carlisle asked, looking at Chippy like he was seven headed, "That this chipmunk can _fly_?"

"Yep-o. Honest to god truth. It flies!"

"Well then, there's only one thing to do."

"Destroy it?" I said, hopeful.

"No! Show it to Aro!"

"What?"

"This is the exact kind of thing he's always enjoyed hearing about- I remember his studies on the immortal children, and how human medicine reacted when mixed with our venom." Carlisle was talking of Aro as if they were old friends.

"So, you wanna show Chippy, the evil undead chipmunk off to the guy who tried to kill your entire family not even a decade ago?" I asked, amazed. Carlisle looked up at me as if I was insane.

"Of coarse! Aro was first my friend, and then my enemy. He's been power crazy from the start, and really, if I wasn't at least civil to him, we'd be dead twice as fast."

I considered this. "Quite so, I suppose."

"Say what?" Emmett said for what felt like the seventh time, and everyone sighed.

"That," Rose said, pointing to the dog cage, "Is Chippy. Chippy is a vampire chipmunk that feeds on human/animal blood. He can also fly." She spelled it out with arm motions to get the point across. When Emmett finally got the picture, he burst out laughing.

"Are you serious?" Emmett said, and his laughter was ceased by the cold stares his way.

"Where are the wolves?" he demanded, they will love this."

"They're still at work," Ani answered. "And Jazz and Allie are out shopping."

All the men present, and my mother, shivered at the thought of the torture Jasper was being put through.

"So, what are we going to do with it?" Daddy asked, looking at the chipmunk with quizzical disgust.

"Grandpa says we should keep it, and show it to Aro."

"He'll be very interested in it." Carlisle defended himself.

"Oh, no doubt on that." Chippy had launched himself at the cage's door with enough force to knock it onto it's door wall. Now, we could only see in through the small air holes. "But he may also see it as another reason to kill us."

"We can avoid that easily. Just give him the chipmunk. His problem then."

"That's the meanest thing I've ever heard you say!" Esme said, hugging her husband of the last eighty to a hundred years, happily. "good for you!"

The wolves had had the exact same reaction to Chippy's new found delights as Emmett did. Then, they started plotting ways to nearly destroy it, but still have it breathing- well, existing, afterwards. It was going to be an interesting weekend...


	9. Do I Really Have To Choose!

Nine

Weddings

But Ours...

DISCLAIMER: I don't own any characters, places, etc. in this story. Stephine Meyer does, along with the Canadian Government(I think). I just took where she left her story(ies) and ran with it.

Nine:

Do I really

Have To Choose?

"If you don't pick me, I will never forgive you." Alice threatened me, her little pixie face twisted in a beautiful grimace of demanding evil.

I knew this look. I wasn't going to enroll into the wrath of Alice club, so I was going to be very quiet.

"Pick you for what?" I asked, slowly, carefully.

"To be your maid of honor, for goodness sake!" Alice raised her hands and shook her head, as if it was completely obvious.

"Really, Alice," I said, attempting to get away, "I don't think it's fair to pick you and not consider the others."

"Who cares about them? I wanna be the maid of honor!" She huffed, and crossed her arms, the famous 'Alice Pout' coloring her expression.

"Auntie A, I can't pick yet."

"Why not?" you'd think _I _was older then _her_!

"Because it wouldn't be fair to the others."

"I thought you were picking me!" came Rosalie's charmingly high voice from around the corner. It startled me enough that I jumped, and nearly screamed. I usually would have sensed it, but I was way out of whack lately. To calm down, I tuned into Daddy's playing. It was Mum's lullaby, a very beautiful piece, if not my favourite.

"Sorry," Rose said, coming to stand near me. "I thought you'd have known I was coming."

"Whatever."

"So I'm your maid of honor, right?" Alice said, politely adding a touch of malice to her tone.

"No! I'm the maid!"

"No, me!"

"No me!

"No, Me!"

"No, me!"

"No, me!"

"No me!

"No, Me!"

"No, me!"

The piano music stopped in chaos, as if someone had flattened their hands across the keys. Then, we all heard my father's quick, even steps coming into the hall way.

"Oh for god's sake!" he said, coming towards us. "If you want the real truth, Nessie shouldn't have either of you as a maid of honor! You're the farthest thing from maids in the world, as you've had a husband for roughly the last hundred years!"

He stalked off to his and Mum's room, muttering under his breath stuff like 'stupid wedding' and 'why on earth...' Alice and Rose only paused enough for him to be out of human hearing.

"Matron of honor, then!" Alice said, seizing hold of my arm.

"No! Me!" Rose grabbed the other arm, and it was like two preschool girls fighting over their favorite baby doll.

Thank god that Esme came into the hallway to save me.

Or so I thought...

"What's going on?" Esme said, emeadeately being the mother/grandmother in the situation. Alice and Rose, knowing Esme as well as they did, dropped my arms and took a giant step away.

"She started it!" they both pointed a finger at each other. One step from sticking out their...

Spoke to soon. Rose stuck her pretty pink tounge out at Alice, and Alice made a face back.

"What are you fighting over."

"Maid of honor status," I said, beginning to regain feeling in my arms- finally.

"Maid of honor!" oh no. "Can I be it? Oh, please say yes! Ill tell you everything about the wedd-"

"No." Rose and Alice said, flatly.

"Why can't she pick me?" Esme said, looking very put out.

"Because..." Alice started, and Esme turned her puppy dog eyes to her. "Oh, bother..." Alice finished, looking down, ashamed.

"I think Nessie should choose her own maid of honor." Esme said, looking hopefully to me.

"Thank you, Esme." I said, and quickly dissapeared as Esme scolded her oldest two daughters.

I wandered off through the big house, searching for Carlisle. I passed Ani's room, where she was sitting in lotus position on a pillow placed on the floor.

_Can I talk to you?_ I thought, knowing she could hear me. She slowly opened her eyes after three deep, meditative breaths and answered back.

_Yes, _she patted the space besides her invitingly. _Though I assume it's a secret?_

_Yeah, I guess it is... But won't dad hear?_

Ani tapped her head over her third eye. _Shield, remember? Our thoughts are completely safe._

_Really? _I was amazed. It seemed as if Ani grew more talented by the day.

_I do,_Ani answered, knowing where my thoughts were. _Being here, in such a wonderfully loving environment, my good hearted talents are really powerful. _She sighed,_ but on the same note, my bad ones are really powerful, so I have to ignore all the bad things that I could fix with a bit of black magie._

_Black magic? _I asked, confused.

_Yes. There's white, gray, and black. You didn't know that?_ I shook my head. _Oh, right! How could you know!_ Ani hit her forehead with her hand, showing how dopy she was. _Anyways, white magic is good stuf, whilst black magic is dark, mean stuff._

_And gray? _

_Gray can go both ways. It's the intent that drive gray magic._

_What is magic? _I thought of a rabbit coming out of a top hat, and Ani laughed.

_Oh no! _Real _magic is very different. Magic is just a side to my religion._

_Religion? Witchcraft is a religion?_

_To some,_ Ani answered. _Witchcraft can be practiced by anyone, hence white, gray and black magic. My faith is a certain thing._

_What's it's name? _Ani shook her head.

_I have no name for it in the current times. Closest thing is Wicca, or other neo-pagan things of the like._

_What do you believe in? I thought witches' don't believe in god..._

_We do. Or at least, I do. But not by your names. _

_What names?_

_I was raised with italian traditions. So, although it's not the modern day traditions, it has the same god and goddess. _

_Goddess?_

_Yes! God is a woman, too!_

_Oh, _I pondered that.

_God is not a certain thing, or being. He has no beard, no horns, no wings, nothing. And nothing is divine. We, as humans, relate to god, or the great spirit, or allah, or buhdda, or whom ever as human in appearance. Because society has been dominated by men for the last, say, two thousand years, we see god as man. But before, it was goddess, not god._

_But they're the same?_

_Yes. It's our way of thinking about it._

_So, why are you and Carlisle such good friends, if you have such different beliefs?_

_We are not so different, he and I. _Ani was trailing into thoughts of their mixed pasts. _Dear Carlisle believes in hell, unlike me- however unlike his father he sees heaven as a reward for being a good person, not a good member of a certain church or religion. He does not think me damned, if anything he thinks me an angel. I have saved many a life, raised many a child in my lifetime. _

_You've been a mom? _I said, looking at her in twisted curiousity. She was physically thirteen- who of good intent would want her?

_It was long before thirteen was considered a child. _Tears began welling in her eyes as Ani continued. _For the first, say two hundred years after I was made immortal thirteen was a fine age to be married. This little young body of mine has had over twenty two husbands, and hundreds of children. _Ani almost seemed proud, and she knew I knew it. _To have born so many healthy babes is still a thing I take pride in, even to this day. _

_So, where are they?_

Ani shrugged. _They left me when they were old enough. I made it seem as if I had aged, so that they would be normal. To some, at the beginning, I taught my craft- my way of life. But as it became an oddity, something of fiction and fables, I didn't teach it anymore. I suppose that it's lost to the world..._

She sounded so sad at that.

_What if you taught me?_

_Oh no! You want me to teach you out of pity for me- I cannot teach you under such surcimsatnces._

_But..._

_Why not? It, the religion and the magic, they only will be true to those who truly believe. Now, I've created miricles- sheer miracles from my talents- but you have not seen them. How would you believe it to be the truth?_

_Oh. _I realized what she said was true.

_But no matter, no matter. You came her to talk to me about yourself, not about my many woes._

_Yeah, I suppose. _

_What worries you, child? _

_Oh, _I rolled my eyes and snorked. _Alice, Rose and Esme are fighting over maid of honor status._

_That is very much like them..._

_Quite true. _

_I think that you should pick whom you feel will be complementary to the wedding- and not bring pesonal prefferance into it. Or, you can pick someone out of the family. _

_Who? The only girls I know are my mother, my grandmother, and my sister-in-law-to-be. All in the family. _I realized something. _Hey... wait a minute... _

_What?_

_You're not related! _I beamed at her and grabbed her shoulders._ You'll be be my Maid of Honor!_

_Matron, technically._

_Whatever!_


	10. So I have To Do All This Work?

Nine

Weddings

But Ours...

DISCLAIMER: I don't own any characters, places, etc. in this story. Stephine Meyer does, along with the Canadian Government(I think). I just took where she left her story(ies) and ran with it.

Ten: So...I'm

Doing All This Work?

Alice held true to her word, and didn't speak to me till two days later. She entered the living room, a skip in her step, and an adorable smile on her charming face. It was really breathtaking- but by now I was used to it. Surrounded by beautiful people, you kinda stop seeing it.

"Why so happy?" my voice was muffled by the popcorn being shoved into my mouth. I was watching the 2004 version of Phantom Of The Opera.

"Oh," Alice paused it right before Callotta started to sing in her shrill soprano- thank god. "I've finally found a way to get you back for not picking me."

I moaned. "This again?" She nodded, gleefully.

"See," she sat down on the love seat besides me, and crossed her legs. "You've never had the pleasure of going to high school..."

"Oh no."

"So, I've managed to talk Edward and Bells to let all of us that are going to high school to give you thier homework."

"What? All that?"

"No." I sighed in relief. "You get the assignments and art/science projects too."

"Seriously?" I sat up so fast that the popcorn spilled. "You're kidding- right?" I looked pleadingly towards her face, which now was extremely pleased- like an angel finally getting revenge.

"Yes."

"Well then," I set the bowl on the table before me, and stood. "Daddy!" I called, as walked quickly from the room.

"Um, yes dear?" he knew what was coming.

"What is this about homework?" I answered, once I stood before him and the grand piano.

"Alice thought it was a good idea."

"All of yours?" I said, amazingly shocked. "So, Emmett's, Rosalie's, Ani's, Seth's, your's, and Mum's?"

"No!" He said, closing the lid to the piano. Daddy knew this was gonna be a long conversation. "Just one of us."

"Why!"

"You need something to do besides watch movies all day."

"That's not all I do!"

"You're quite right," he picked a piece of popcorn from my hair, "You eat a lot of popcorn."

"I don't gain weight."

"No, you don't. But still, it's not healthy."

"How?" he answered with another explanation.

"Don't fret, love. High school is one thing you will simply fly through. And you'll be able to study with Seth and Ani." I did enjoy the prospect of that- merely so I could protect Ani from Alice's vengeful wrath. Daddy sat back down to his key board, seeing in my mind that his words had pacified my fears.

I was about to leave, when I thought of something. "Why did Alice say she wanted you to give me homework?"

"Because she thought it would add structure you your life."

"It's really because she wants revenge, you know."

"I know," he started playing 'Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life' by Monty Python. "But it was a good excuse for a great idea."

"Well..." I began muttering what I thought of it, as I trudged out the front door to find something to do.

I decided to take a walk. It had been awhile since I visited the local bookstore, and it wasn't far.

When I passed the 'wolf Den'- Seth, Leah, Jake, Quil and Embry's house, I was reminded of how little I'd seen of Jake in the last few days. Between him going to work, and me having to watch Chippy, there was basically no time. And now with the homework...

It wasn't fair. Then again, saying that wasn't exactly fair either. It only makes sense that Jake would work- for the alibi we'd told the town. Plus, I didn't have to watch Chippy. It was just that the demon wood creature had found a soft spot in my hybrid heart- we were both unique.

Anyways, I ran to the bookstore, slowing my pace to a brisk walk when in sight.

Eddies News stand & Novelties was my favorite bookstore in Prince Rupert. It had books about everything from art to pop culture, not to mention the collection of foreign books in other languages. I could speak quite a few tongues now, everyone had taught me something.

I walked to the back of the store, running my fingers along the shelves, tickling the spines of the hundreds of books.

After a few minutes of searching, I walked out with three books- one for me, one for Alice, and finally, one for Grandpa C.- which was Jake's nickname for Carlisle. I then decided, seeing that it was close to Carlisle's fifteen minute break, that I'd stop by the hospital to drop off my gift.

"Hey, Janette." I said, smiling and waving at the receptionist. She returned the greeting and waved me in.

"Doctor Cullen," she said into the intercom as I walked through the hall. "Your daughter's here to see you."

"Which one, Janette?"

"Nessie."

I let myself into Carlisle's office, and sat at his desk. I pulled out my gift and set it on the table, and then waited for him to come in.

Carlisle arrived smiling. "Yes?" he asked, and then noting my seat asked. "Playing doctor?"

"No." I stood, and walked towards him. "It's just the most broken in chair."

"It should be. It's been sat in since seventeen sixty five."

"Really?"

he nodded yes.

"Huh." I considered.

"What are you here for?"

"Oh," I picked up the book and handed it to him. "Gag gift." Carlisle read the title and laughed hysterically.

"Dr. Acula?" he looked amazed at me.

"Yep. First vampire doctor book in along time, eh?"

"In ever, to my knowledge." he flipped through the pages, and read the back. "Is it any good?"

"I read a bit. Really, it's quite funny- very you."

"Very me?"

"Yeah."

Carlisle got paged for minor heart injury a few minutes later, so I left him with his new book to go back home.

I tracked Aunt A down to present her with "The Ultimate Bridal Gown Planner'- her book of the three, and then I went upstairs to add my new book to my growing shelves. This one was called Ophelia, and was Ophelia's take on Hamlet. I adored the play, so I figured the main heroine would have some interesting things to say. I was about five to seven chapters in when I heard Jake and the pack's car pull in. Happy that he was finally home and frantic to see him, I practically ran from my room, and took the steps two, if not three at a time.

I managed to reach him before he had taken a step from the car. Almost as if it was coreographed, I ran into his arms and we kissed.

"Oooh-eee!" Embry called, and someone, probably Quil howled.

"Oh, shut up!" Leah cried out, "They're happy." Leah herded the boys into the house.

"What exactly was that for?" Jake said, as soon as I let him breath.

"Oh. I haven't seen you in so long!"

"You see me every morning at breakfast, and at dinner."

"How desperate housewife of me!

"Ha! Well, you will be a wife soon enough, and Esme apparently has big plans for the house."

"Really?" Jake nodded, and kissed my cheek. "I do think we don't see each other much." I said, smiling. "Like, date see each other."

"That, my dear, is only because if I kissed you like that in front of your father, he'd rip out my heart and drink my blood!" I hit his chest. "Hey!"

"Seriously." I pouted, and crossed my arms across my chest.

"I agree."

"So?"

"So?" he asked, cautiously.

"What are we gonna do about it?"

"Well..." Jake thought for a moment. "I have Tuesday off..."

"No." I said, firmly. "It has to be sooner."

"Saturday?"

"a day from now?"

"Why not? Closest I can manage."

"Curse work!" I said, turning my back to him.

"Well," Jake came behind me, and wrapped his arms around me. "Get a job yourself- busy your time and it will pass quicker."

"I haven't told you about the homework stuff yet."

"You're getting homework, now?" I nodded, and turned back to face him.

"Yeah. Alice's promised revenge."

"Ah." We started walking into the school. "I see..."


	11. It's A Date Not A Fashion Show!

Nine

Weddings

But Ours...

DISCLAIMER: I don't own any characters, places, etc. in this story. Stephine Meyer does, along with the Canadian Government(I think). I just took where she left her story(ies) and ran with it.

Eleven: It's a

DATE-Not A Fashion Show!

The only thing that happened on Thursday that's notable is that Carlisle managed to somehow get Chippy on a titanium chain and harness and took him for a walk without killing any unsuspecting hikers.

I came along to see this disaster waiting to happen, and was rather disappointed when it didn't end in too much chaos. Carlisle had discovered that Chippy, the genius vampire Chipmunk could understand English- so it made communication very easy.

"Chippy," Carlisle said, as Chippy jumped from tree trunk to tree trunk- very happy. "You need to eat something."

Chippy turned towards the highway and nearest town, about fifty miles away, bolting towards the scent of humans. Carlisle jerked the chain tight around Chippy's neck, causing Chippy to fly backwards. He caught the chipmunk in his free hand, and said, looking sternly into it's eyes, "Chippy, animals, not people. Understand?" Chippy chattered a yes, and Carlisle put him on the ground again.

"Why exactly are we doing this?" I asked, looking at my grandfather and his new 'pet'.

"Because if Chippy eats animals, there's a better chance Aro won't be able to call it a threat. Though," he added, under his breath, "Caius will do his best to get someone killed."

Chippy caught the scent of some small animal, and started pulling on his chain. Carlisle ignored it.

"If memory serves," I said, dryly, "Caius wanted me dead?" Carlisle nodded a yes.

"Thank goodness Marcus likes people with families as strong as ours, or else we'd all be dead by now." Chippy's feet were so eager to run they were digging a hole in the earth.

"It helped that Aro likes talented people like me."

"That is true..."

Chippy couldn't take it anymore. With a soft growl he jumped up into his flying talent, dragging my screaming grandpa with him.

"Good god!" he said, about fifty feet up, just before the chain broke and he went plunging to the earth.

I paused, amazed, before I managed to stumble through the woods to find Carlisle.

To catch Chippy, Carlisle strung about fifty blood bags from a tree, and I crouched a few branches above, metal dog cage in my hands. When Chippy streamed by in pursuit of a terrified bluejay, he caught the scent of the blood bags, and when he was close enough, I grabbed his tail and shoved him in the cage.

"Got 'cha!"

"Alice! It's hair!" I cried as she picked up the curling iron for the twelfth time.

"Just hair!" Alice shrieked back, and Rose looked up from her task of painting some pink lipstick on my lips, also outraged. "It's a date."

"He's seen me before." I pointed out.

"True," Rosalie said, smearing some kind of gloss on my now pink lips. "But not like this."

"And what horrors await me in the dressing room?" I asked, truly worried.

"Please. My taste is not that bad." Alice defended herself.

"No, it's just eccentric."

"It is not!" I rolled my eyes. We'd been at this for an hour at least. Jake and I were leaving the minute he got home from work, so Alice and Rose had literally _dropped out of school-_ just to freaking come and do my makeup.

"Alice, do you think we should line her eyes brown or black?" Rose said, looking at my makeup-ified face in consideration.

"Put the brown on," Alice said, after a moments pause. "The black would be too harsh with the pink."

"Quite true. Eyeshadow- green brown combo?"

"Add some pink highlights- very faint."

"Kay." Curse Alice's art course! Everything was complementary colors, or accent lines, or background colors, or... what ever her blasted professor taught her.

"Hair's done."

"Makeup's done..." Rose powdered my cheeks with something that glittered. "Now!" she clapped happily. "Wardrobe?"

"Wardrobe." my fashionista aunts frog marched me into my closet- which was only as big as it was because they bought so much clothing for me. I swear, they wouldn't love me half as much if I wasn't their life sized dress up doll.

"Dressing her now?" Ani said, peeking around the door frame. Alice and Rose nodded enthusiastically.

"I cannot miss this!" she came in and sat on the floor, playing with her long fair curls and giggling through her full, smiling lips.

I was not as happy. "Hey!" I pointed accusingly at her, "Your maid of honor status is on the line here!"

"Really?" Rose and Alice said in sync, looking hopeful. I shot them a glance that ended their happiness.

Alice ran to one of the wardrobes, and pulled open the doors.

"Where is that pencil skirt?"

"I'll look for the sweater." Rose said, picking through one of the walls of hanging garments. "Ani, would you be a dear and look for the jewelery?" Rose asked, probably showing Ani which ones she meant through Ani's mind reading gift. Ani was almost Rose's baby now. Or coarse, Auntie Rose had to share with Esme, but still...

"Sure!" Ani said, happy that they were speaking to her again after the bridesmaid incidnent.

"What happened to you?" Jake asked when I was in the car."

"Just drive!" I said, frantically pulling down the car mirror on the passenger's side. "Do I really look that bad?"

"What?" Jake said in disbelief. "You look amazing. You look like Alice- but you look great."

He was right about that. Rose, Alice, and my supposed ally in all this- Ani, had me in a brown pencil skirt, a forest green sweater, high, and I mean _high _heels, and enough makeup for about seven models in the fall fashion week.

"Really?" I said, kinda hoping he thought I really did look good.

"Well, you always look amazing, but you look more," he searched for a word, and then said in defeat, "There's no word to describe Alice and Rose united with a closet as their weapon of choice."

"That's for sure!" I played with my choker, it was rather pretty, brown ribbon with a gold leaf charm- Ani had thankfully put her foot down for me at Alice's demand for pearls- and had chosen this from her own collection.

"So," I said, as the forests surrounding our house(houses, counting the 'wolf den') flew by. "What do we have planned for tonight?"

"I don't really know." Jake said, ever honest.

"Well, what d you think? Dinner?" I asked, a laughing tone in my voice.

"Why not? Where to?"

"Where ever you want- you know the food places better then I do."

"Quite true. You would not _believe _how much food Quil can eat!"

Dinner passed quickly. We avoided any topic involving the wedding, simply because we'd heard enough of it. Emmett was calling Embry, Quil- even Leah, sometimes, with thoughts on the parties they were planning so much that Carlisle was having to help them play the bills- he was taking it out of Emmett's share of the family cash, though.

After we were finished eating, we decided that we would go to the movies. Sadly though, the late show had already started. Stubbornly, Jake and I had started driving home.

"Hey!" Jake said, happily, having thought of something.

"What?" I said, sad that I would be going home to Alice and her extreme bridal plans so soon after escaping.

"What if we watched a movie at my place? It's just down the road from the giant Cullen mansion, I'd be able to walk you home after."

"Why not!" I said, glad that I'd be escaping anything wedding oriented for a few hours more.

The car pulled into the wolf den's drive way, and I all but skipped in the front door. Jake was close behind me, smiling.

But before we even had the lights on, there was a terrible glass breaking crash in the living room. It was loud enough that Jake and I jumped together, shocked.

"What was that?" I asked, afraid slightly. Jake shook his head, and raised his hand to his lips, the universal symbol of be quiet. We slowly rounded the corner to the living room, and Jake flipped on the light...

Only to reveal Chippy covered with broken glass, standing on a toppled over couch with a rat in his mouth.

"Oh for god's sake Chippy!" Jake said, relieved. I let out a breath I didn't know I'd been holding. Chippy, realizing his fun was over, dropped the rat, growled, and bolted into the house.

We were exhausted by the time we'd caught the little evil, demented, undead rodent. Not wanting the demon to escape again, we shoved him in a big cooking pot and duct taped the lid on. Chippy rattled around in it like popcorn popping. We collapsed onto the couch in the TV room, watching with quite a bit of humor Buffy The Vampire Slayer.

"This chick would not survive an attack from Chippy." Jake commented, as Buffy did a back flip of a building.

"We barely do." I added. A few minutes, later, I fell asleep.

It's amazing how much energy catching a vampire chipmunk can take.


	12. Evil Phones, Daddy's Nose, And Chippy

Twelve: Well, He

Slept On The Floor, At Least!

My stupid phone woke me up at the crack of dawn. I grumbled, and looked at Jake, who was passed out on the floor. Nothing could wake him up.

I sluggishly grabbed the phone, and flipped it open, the entire time thinking how I could kill the person on the other end without being caught. The sheer volume of my father's voice was not a good sight.

"Where exactly have you been all night?" He demanded, as if I'd killed something I shouldn't have.

"Um," I tried to think of an answer he wouldn't hate.

"Um?" He was outraged. "Um! 'Um' is not the answer I want, Renesmee." Uh-oh. Full name's out, never a good sign.

"Well,"

"Well!"

"Well," I was impatient. "I fell asleep on the couch. I was tired fro-"

"From what?"

"If you must bloody well know, Chippy burst through the window just as we came in."

"Where did you come into?"

"The freaking front door, Daddy!" I sat up, wide awake now. "What do you think?"

"It's hours past your curfew, you do realize that." I glanced at the clock on the wall.

"Yes, I know that Dad."

"So?"

"So?"

"Why aren't you home?" I heard the front door closing over the phone. This would not be good.

"I am, techiqually, at home."

"How so?" Daddy was walking so fast even the grass was making a sound.

"Because Grandpa and Esme own this house too, and I live with them."

"That could change you know," He threatened, "If I thought-"

"Thought what, Daddy?" I was outraged. "Do you want a step by step run through of my evening?"

Here Daddy paused. "Maybe?" he offered.

"Jake picked me up. We went out to dinner, and were gonna go to a movie. But the late show had already started, so we came here to watch one at home. Then, Chippy," I growled the name. "Burst through the window, which caused me and Jake to chase the demon rodent throughout the house, which ended in us putting the vampire chipmunk in a cooking pot and duct taping the lid on."

"Then?"

"Then? We settled into watch Buffy The Vampire Slayer, and I fell asleep."

"And?"

"And?" I asked, confused. There was a sharp rap at the door, and I sighed. I got up, phone still in hand, and walked to the front door. I peered through one of the windows on either side of the door. My father was standing there, fuming.

"Hi Daddy." I said, and hung up. I turned the door handle, and Daddy nearly fell through the door in his haste to get inside.

"Where is he?" I sighed.

"Sleeping, Dad."

"Sleeping? Where?"

"On the freaking floor!"

"Really?" Daddy said in disbelief. "Let's just see, then!" He opened the door to the TV room, and stood there, staring at Jake's sleeping form sprawled across the floor, drooling on the rug and with one leg perched on the coffee table.

"He is sleeping." I said, and Daddy grumbled.

"Where's the 'vampire rodent?" Daddy said, frantically trying to find a hole in my alibi.

"Right this way, good sir." I said, and walked towards the kitchen.

Once we were there, I picked the duct taped pot from the counter, and displayed it to him like a million dollar car. "One pan baked rodent." Daddy snatched the pot from me, and in seconds had unraveled the tape. He lifted the lid, unthinkingly.

Chippy launched at Daddy's face, snarling like a cat with bad attitude. Chippy was clawing and holding on for dear life, his little head pressed against Daddy's third eye, his beady little red eyes staring into Daddy's topaz ones.

"What the-" with that, the traumatized chipmunk let out a ear piercing scream similar to that of a karate master's, and bit into Dad's nose.

Dad's scream managed to wake up Jake, and had Mum over to the house in an instant.

"What happened?" Mum said, as soon as she was through the front door. "What's wrong, Edward?" She came into the kitchen, staring at her husband and Chippy, who's teeth were dug into Daddy's nose.

"Good god!"

"Let's just go find Carlisle." Jake offered, and mum and Daddy finally agreed. We'd tried everything to get Chippy off Dad's nose, but nothing had worked. We'd even recruited Emmett to try to pull it off Dad's nose, but that just sent Emmett flying backwards from a well placed kick on Chippy's part.

Getting Daddy into the hospital proved to be challenging. In the end, Jake went in to announce our presence to Carlisle, and Mum, Daddy and I snuck my still very surprise father in through the back door.

When Carlisle saw what had happened, he burst out laughing.

"What did you do?" he asked through giggles, and Daddy shot him a deadly look. Carlisle gulped. "Well, how do we get rid of it?" he was suddenly serious.

"How the hell should I know!" Daddy said, finally breaking.

"Well, how could I know either?"

"Alright then!" Jake said, attempting to defuse a possibly deadly situation. "I have an idea. Take a Q-tip, put some blood on it, and lure Chippy away from his current hold on Edward's nose." Jake said the last few words with a touch of humor, but corrected himself. "You said that Chippy understands English- it should work, right?"

It did work, in the end. Daddy miraculously didn't scar, and afterwords Jake and him came to an agreement.

Chippy had to die.


	13. DIY Flaming Ammunition In 3 Easy Steps!

Nine

Weddings

But Ours...

**A/N: PLEASE READ IF YOU ADORE CHIPPY! Have your attention? Good. Because of stuff like music classes, attending and teaching dance classes, homework and extra curricular studies and such, I might not be able to post a chapter every night as I have been doing. Also, the chapter's might not be as long as usual. Sorry- but you don't mind (I hope...) ! _Right?_ LOLZ :D XD **

DISCLAIMER: I don't own any characters, places, etc. in this story. Stephine Meyer does, along with the Canadian Government(I think). I just took where she left her story(ies) and ran with it.

Thirteen: How To

Turn a Vampire Chipmunk

Into flaming Ammunition In Three easy Steps

"Can we shoot it yet?" Seth asked for the twelfth time, and everyone groaned.

"No." Leah said, and hit his head to make a point. "Now stop, idiot."

"You're an idiot." Seth said under her breath, and Leah glared at him, daring him to try it again.

"What was that, cub?" Seth took the hint.

"I... Said I love you?"

"Right answer." she hit him again.

"Hey!"

"When is this getting started?" I asked Jake. Everyone, and I mean, _everyone- _Jazz, Aunt A, Auntie Rosie, Carlisle, Esme, Daddy, Mum, Billy, Ani and the entire wolf pack were out here, either sitting on the lawn chairs or a half mile away with Jazz, loading the potato gun. To any common passerby, it would look like we were sitting around for fireworks.

Not an exploding vampire chipmunk.

"Soon!" Jasper called again- also for the twelfth time. "Just one minute..."

It ended up taking five, but still. The others who'd gathered around Jasper came running back, Emmett loudly complaining that he wanted to shoot it, and Quil and Embry taking bets at how far Chippy would fly.

"No more then a mile."

"No way!" Quil disagreed. "That thing can fly on it's own. It's the fire that's gonna make him fly real fast. I think about five miles, at least."

"You have to be joking-" Embry contradicted.

"I still wanna fire the big gun," Emmett said for the fourth time to Rosalie.

"I know, babe. But if anyone would get lit on fire, it'd be you- and that would be disastrous."

"Jazz is flammable too, you know."

"Yeah, but I have extreme fire arm training." Jazz called, able to hear the entire conversation.

"From over two hundred years ago!"

"As apposed to your sixty?"

"You're both good at blowing things up." Carlisle said to calm the situation. Esme winced.

"Ready?" Jasper called, mainly to Daddy. He was gonna have to run along with Chippy's flight coarse, so he could catch him if needed. We all called out 'yes' in some form or another.

"In three, two," Jasper said, as if Chippy was a rocket. "One!"

The distance a flying vampire chipmunk that's been set on fire can fly is amazing. Daddy couldn't keep up with it, and in the end we had to use a grid search plan to track down Chippy- who was precisely in the middle of a rather large crater in the middle of the woods. If being locked in a cooking pot for over fourteen hours and a trip to Victoria hadn't traumatized him much, this was the last straw. Chippy was squeaking, rocking back and forth and staring straight ahead- his little beady red eyes as wide as they could go.

"All the little bloke can think of is acorns." Daddy muttered, and scooped Chippy from his little pit in the forest floor.

"Poor little demon," Jasper said, and put his hand out towards Chippy. He could tell how traumatized the thing was, and was trying to help. Chippy sniffed his hand, and crawled onto it. Jazz cradled it like a little lost baby for a moment, trying to get it calmed down.

"The poor thing's tail got blown off," Ani said in wonder, stooping to pick up Chippy's tail's furry remains.

The next few things that happened were in perfect sync, which was disturbingly hilarious. Daddy cried out, "What the hell,", Ani cried out "Put the devil down!" and Chippy, sent reeling back into reality by the sight of his severed tail launched at Jasper's neck, little chipmunk teeth barred in determination to kill.

The amount of force a vampire chipmunk can produce is simply astounding. Chippy managed to get Jazz completely laid out on the floor, gnawing at his neck as Jasper yelled through the pain "Get it off! Get the damned thing off!"

Alice was near hysterics, Emmett couldn't stop laughing, and Esme looked as if she was about to faint. It was Carlisle who answered Jasper's pleas, and pulled Jazz to his feet. Here ensued a brief tug-of-war between Carlisle, Jasper and Chippy's deep set teeth, only ended by Ani.

"Oh for Goddess's sake!" Ani cried out in disbelief. "Step aside, old man," she shoved Carlisle backwards, all the while he was slightly smiling at her comment. "It's as simple as this." Ani raised her hand towards Chippy.

The amount of light that shot out of her fingertips was blinding. It was light blue with white, and almost had black/navy tendrils that seemed to whip Chippy from his hold on Jasper's neck. The force of it sent Chippy flying backwards into one of the surrounding trees. We all stood there, dazed by the light.

"What was that!" I asked, the first to regain consciousness. The others murmured in wonder.

"Oh, that?" Ani said, blowing on her smoking fingertips. "That's my zaps, as I call them." she pointed a finger at a dead tree branch about five feet up and twenty feet away. "Zap!" the blue light shot out again and the branch came crashing down. Ani giggled.

"You never showed me that!" Carlisle said, amazed and delighted. "How do you do it?"

"Born with it," Ani said. "One of my thirteen 'major' powers."

"Major powers?" everyone said, shocked and confused. Ani rolled her eyes, as if she were dealing with children. I suppose, to her, she was. "I'll explain it later when I have three hours free."


	14. Phyco Therapy for Vampire Chipmunks

Nine

Weddings

But Ours...

**A/N: Sorry this took so long to post! I wrote it ages ago, but just couldn't manage to find the time or place to post it!**

DISCLAIMER: I don't own any characters, places, etc. in this story. Stephine Meyer does, along with the Canadian Government(I think). I just took where she left her story(ies) and ran with it.

Fourteen: Phyco Therapy For

Vampire Chipmunks, And The

Scientific Explanation Of 'Zaps'

Getting the still living Chippy home without having him run off proved challenge. Jasper had to calm his emotions, Carlisle was whispering things in his little ear to slow his heart beat, and I was sending him images of acorns dripping with animal blood, in the hopes that it would calm him as well. Seth nearly had to shift when Chippy suddenly tried bolting, but Esme managed to catch him before he ran too far.

Now, everyone was sitting on the various couches, chairs and floor space, facing Ani, who was opposite us, her three hundred and thirteen year old eyes peering at us knowingly from behind her blond curls.

"Let me break the silence," Billy, said, determined. "You people left me in the middle of a field- where I couldn't wheel anywhere!" He was slightly annoyed by this, you could tell. "What if that thing," he pointed to Chippy, who was cowering from within the cage of Esme's arms. "Had come after me?"

"We didn't know how long it would take to catch him," Carlisle said, trying to keep the peace. Billy settled a little- if there was any of the Cullens he trusted, aside from me, it was Carlisle. "And on that same note, what are we going to do with our flying friend?" he looked at Chippy, who was literally trembling.

"We tried blowing him up." Embry said. "Which reminds me, Quil, you owe me."

"I so do not!" Quil disagreed, shaking his head.

"The hell you do! You said he would fly five miles, I said one."

"The thing flew ten!"

"Exactly! So, you were wrong, and I win."

"But you were wrong too!"

"Boys!" Jake thundered, and you could just see Embry and Quil shrinking. Jake lowered his voice."Shut up." He swung his arm around my shoulders.

"They are right," Jasper said. "Blowing it up didn't work."

"And I myself know we can't kill it with drowning or starvation." Carlisle added, speaking from experience. Esme slightly cringed.

"So we'd have to rip him to shreds and burn him," Emmett said, leaving Rose's side and standing. "Great. Come here you little-" he lunged at Chippy, who squeaked somewhat like the squirrel from Ice Age and scrambled down Esme's shirt. Esme shrieked, and Rose pulled Emmett back to his seat.

"Please," Edward said, as everyone stared at Esme's frail attempts to get Chippy's claws from their current hold of her collar bone. "Let's not make any sudden movements, Chippy's very unstable mentally right now."

"That's for sure," Carlisle's tone was dead, as he reached over to yank the vampire chipmunk from it's new hold on his wife's index finger. "How should we treat this thing?" Carlisle said, the doctor that he was. Daddy shrugged.

"Traditional phyco therapy should work, treating him as a victim of shock, and dis-figuration." Carlisle nodded.

"But can we treat him like a human, I wonder? Much of those therapies need feedback, and Chippy can't talk."

"No, but I can see his answers for you, and we'll work from there."

"Quite possible."

"This is all assuming that we don't kill him." Jasper added, drawing the two licensed practitioners away from the babble they learned in med school.

"What do we do with it?" Rose said, looking at Chippy with disgust. "I mean, if he lives-"

"He might ruin the wedding!" Alice finished for her.

"And we have worked too hard to have it all go down by a freak chipmunk." Rose said passionately. Billy nodded, I suppose thinking of the invitations.

"turning the conversation away from the wedding," Jake said, tired as I was of hearing about it, "Ani owes us an explanation about her zips, or whatever."

"Their called zaps." Ani said.

"Whatever," Jake intoned. "Their freaky."

"My zaps aren't always mean." Ani said in defense. "For instance," she shot out a pinkish red 'zap' with purple fingers, and picked up the coffee table. Ani moved it to the foot of the stairs. "And they have a reasonable explanation as well."

"What is it?" Carlisle said, always interested in anything unknown.

Ani sighed. "Zaps are a physical manifestation of my power. Which exist all around me- like an aura, but different. Auras are a little more, well, personal. And my zaps to occasionally take some energy from my aura, but only when I'm too tired to tap into anything else." a brief silence fell here.

"So..." Embry said, confused. "I don't get it."

"Of coarse you don't. Look, depending on the reason why I'm sending out a zap, the color, and the associated amount of power involved changes. When I blasted Chippy here, I used a lot of power, a lot of defensive power. So, it was blue, white and black. When I moved the table, I didn't want to destroy it, I wanted to move it without hurting it. So it was pink, red and white."

"What can you move?" Jasper said, thinking.

"What can't I move is a better question. If the object or something is grounded properly, or well protected, or something, I can't move it without a heck of a lot of effort. For instance, Esme puts a lot of love into this house, she makes it her home. To move it away from her, against her will, would take way too much effort to it be worth my wile. I can move people, including myself, if in moving them I don't go against their will- unless of coarse, I do so out of defense of another creature or thing that doesn't deserve it."

"Where do you get the power?" Carlisle was totally taken in with all this.

"That depends. If I zap something out of defense, it comes from the bad intentions of the thing being zapped, and my anger or protection. If I move something out of love, it comes from the bond between me and the other thing, making the zap more careful and loving. Healing zaps are from the sickness, which weakens the virus or whatever and strengthens the person or things good health." Ani sat back in her seat. "Makes sense?"

"I suppose," I said, thinking.

"Good." Ani stood and walked up the stairs to her room. She stopped on the landing. "Oh! I forgot! Alec and Jane will be here on Wednesday, and Nessie, Seth, you are gonna need to do homework at some time."

And with that, she left us and the traumatized chipmunk, more confused and freaked out then before.


	15. Witch reunions,EvilTeens&300yr old lutes

Nine

Weddings

But Ours...

**N/A: Sorry i haven't posted in so long! I missed writing and everyone reading, and I hope you don't hate me too much. Jane and Alec are now here to terrorize the mass millions! Run in fear OR read on, your choice.**

DISCLAIMER: I don't own any characters, places, etc. in this story. Stephine Meyer does, along with the Canadian Government(I think). I just took where she left her story(ies) and ran with it.

Fifteen: Witch

Reunions, Evil People

and Sixteenth Century Lutes

"So when  can we expect them?" Carlisle studied Alice and Ani's faces, trying to look calm but failing drastically. The days between Chippy's blowup and Wednesday had passed fast and we were face to face with the greatest challenge of all- the witch twins. Now, all the cullens/ wolves were gathered around the dining room table, everyone staring at Alice and Ani in anticipation. The two cat like dolls, holding hands and seeing the same future.

Alice, her eyes locked in the future, bit her lip.

"We can't be sure," she said, speaking for herself and Ani both.

"It appears to be," Ani cocked her head to the side, as if studying some far away thing in the distance. "Sunny."

"Yes. They've got their cloak hoods up,"

"And their in the woods."

"I hear a peal of thunder,"

"Me too!"

"And the rains coming down now."

"Jane knows velvet can't get wet,"

"So they're running."

"They're like children, in the rain,"

"Like extremely fast,"

" pale"

" children." they intoned together. Seriously, this joint vision thing was very freaky, very- well, witch like. Ani had been working with Alice, helping her fool proof her vision. Now, the only thing that was stopping the two of them from being invincible was the wolves, Jake and me. I didn't like to be rude, but I was beginning to see why witches had nearly been burned out of existence. This was weird stuff.

"Right with you." Daddy intoned, and Ani, also able to read thoughts, kicked him hard in the shin with a fiery red zap. Aunt Alice blinked at the same time as Ani, and I could tell the vision was over.

"Well?" Emmett asked, always jumping headfirst like usual. "Do we get a fight?"

"Emmett!" Esme cried out in protest, and Carlisle shot him a bad look. "We do want to live to see Nessie's wedding!"

"Oh, please," Jasper said, smiling visiously. "We could take them any day."

"I don't think you could, Jazzy," Daddy added, "But I know you could."

"No way! You two would be begging me to save you!" Emmett added, unable to keep out of a competition.

"Well, if you'll all bloody well let us finish," Alice said, slightly ticked, "You'd know that no one will be fighting anyone."

"But when do they arrive?" that had been the only question we had heard from Billy and Carlisle all day long, and everyone else was just as desperate to hear the answer.

"Right about," Ani started, and the door bell rang.

Carlisle stood first, and Esme joined him. Billy wheeled himself along besides the couple, and the rest of us followed through, letting the heads of our family go first.

After a deep breath, Carlisle reached out and turned the handle.

Alec and Jane stood there on our doorstep, looking terribly out of place. Everyone was stuck between backing away from them or greeting the ancient twins, and I could hear everyone, Alice, Jasper, Emmett, Rose, Carlisle, Esme, even Daddy and Mum, move closer to their mate to protect and for protection. I felt Jake slide his hand into mine, and he pulled me closer, away from the door. We all stood like that, Alec and Jane outside, everyone inside afraid to move.

"Are they breathing?" Jake whispered in my ear, and I shook my head.

"I don't think _anyone _is," I answered.

Of coarse, the silence couldn't last forever. It was Emmett- brave, show off, kinda stupid Emmett who made the first move. Rose nearly took his arm off, but he managed to break her grasp, shove through Daddy, Esme and Carlisle, and reach the Witch Twins.

"Well, hi!" he said, and put his hand out. The look on Jane's face was shocking displeasure, but Alec looked amused and curious.

Still, neither of them moved.

"Er..." Emmett said, attempting to get _some _response from them. "Come on in?"

The two ghosted past us all, and seemed to take in their surroundings in amazement. After exchanging a few glances of utter confusion, Carlisle shrugged, and followed them in, everyone else trailing behind. Jake still had a grasp on my waist, and was shooting very dark glances at the back of Jane's hood.

Everyone ended up in the living room. Jane her hood now down, and stood in the center of the room, staring at us really wierdly, like an alien out of orbit. Alec, mean while, was staring at the TV in awe, and began fiddling with the remote in wonder. Another awkward silence happened.

"Lets just cut to the chase," Jane said, obviously pissed with the situation. "I don't want to be here, you don't want me here. So lets get along, stay out of each other's way, and attempt to live until Halloween. Kay?"

"You are welcome here," Carlisle said, calmly, and almost as if he wanted his forced guest.

"As long as you don't eat anyone around here." Billy added, and Jane looked at him like a dog would a hunk of meat.

"Why, what ever would you mean, Mr. Black?" for a daughter of the devil, she could channel a little girl really well, very girl guides gone bonkers.

"I think you know exactly what he means," Jake stepped forward, much to my horror. "Just keep from hunting in the area, and we will get along, hopefully."

"Or what?" Jane stepped forward to meet him, and they stared at each other like animals sizing eachother up. "Your 'wolves' will get me? Please, your just a bunch of stinking mutts."

"You take that back now," Seth joined into the battle of wills, and Leah looked torn between fainting and punching someone in the face. Jane laughed.

"Do you challenge me? Me?" Jane looked at Seth as if pitying him. "I would crush you like a twig, and you know it."

"You wanna bet, Shirley Temple?" Seth was about to launch, and he pushed Jane into the coffee table. "Bring it."

"You bet I will." Jane cracked her nuckles for show.

"Aw, what you gonna do, tap dance me to death?"

Carlisle looked horrified, Emmett looked amused, Rose looked disgusted, Alice was hiding her eyes, Jasper's eyebrows were raised in shock, Daddy couldn't believe it, Mum was scared, Esme was all worried-mother, the wolves looked bloodthirsty and I was trying to figure out how Seth knew Shirley Temple tap danced- I had him pegged as a Chuck Norris/Spiderman guy.

Oddly enough, Alec saved the day with a nit-brained manuever of cranking the volume on the TV. Everyone was brought back from killing eachother by the sound of My Fair Lady blasting out of the speakers. Everyone reeled as "Wouldn't It Be Lovely" got to the chorus, and Emmett stumbled across the room and turned off the TV. After my ears stopped ringing, it appeared that Seth and Jane had sobered up a bit. Jane was looking at Alec as if going to kill him, and Leah was glaring at Seth like a worried mother grizzly bear who'd come this close to losing her cub.

"Well," Carlisle said, eyes wide, hands clapping once before clasping in front of him. "That being said..."

Jane was looking past us all, eyes locked on the stair well with a look of happy disbelief on her face.

"Anise!" She cried, and rushed forward to meet Ani as she came down the stairs.

"Jane darling!" they hugged like old friends. "But I thought you were dead!"

"Oh please, you knew the Volturi had me."

"I knew they had a Jane, but not you! Is Alec?"

"Um hum!" Jane nodded happily, and pulled Ani across the room to meet Alec.

"Why Allie dear, you haven't changed." Ani hugged Alec warmly, and kept her arm around his waist.,

"You're still gorgeous, Ani."

"Oh please," Ani blushed like a young school girl asked to go to the dance.

"Really. Half the guys in that spit of a village were just waiting for you to get to marrying age."

"And look what happened! They're all dead and I'm still thirteen. Wasn't meant to be, I'll tell you. Though," Ani fluttered her eyelashes like a flirting trollop. "You're still around."

"But of coarse, darling."

"So you know eachother, then?" I asked, kinda confused. One glance at everyone else could tell you they were too.

"Oh yes!" Jane said happily. "We were all the best of friends in our old village, till Alec and my aunt moved us out of the village before the fires began. We still ended up roasting about three years later."

"So you really are-" Daddy started, amazed.

"Witch twins?" Alec finished. "But of coarse. Very powerful, might I add."

Ani snorted. "Please! You haven't practiced for over three hundred years. I on the other hand, am still kicking and zapping and working my charms. You two wouldn't stand a chance."

"We would with out gifts."

"To which I'm immune, and can channel against you, might I remind you, dear friend." Ani sighed. "Those power hungry bloodsucking saints have really gotten to you, haven't they? You used to be so nice to people of the coven."

"Our masters are great men." Alec said like the brainwashed eternal teen he was. Ani looked at him sympathetically, and patted his shoulder.

"Of coarse they are dear."

"Wait a minute," Alice said. "I'm so confused right now, I think ya'll should stop talking and let us all catch up." Everyone nodded, and Jane sighed.

"We all came from the same village, belonged to the same coven and were in the same age group. Alec and Ani had a thing about three centuries back and she and I were best friends. We all got along, we moved away, Ani nearly got killed, we got turned, flash forward thirty decades and here we are the end."

"Well, now that we're on the same page," Jasper said, annoyed.

Ani wasn't stunned. She turned to Alec with a cheerful smile.

"Still play that lute of yours?"

"Best in the colony, just as always."

"You still have that fourteen course one? The apple wood?"

"It's the only one I've ever played. Have it right here." After Ani begged enough, Alec reached into his duffle bag, one of two they'd brought along, and pulled out this weird cross between a mandolin and a guitar.

"What tune?"

"Oh, which one is it that I taught you, again, Carlisle?" Ani asked.

"Can She Excuse My Wrongs." Carlisle answered in awe.

"John Dowland? One of my favourites." Alec started tuning the ancient instrument. "Know the harmony?"

"I suppose."

"Fabulous. Jane, take high harmony, I can cover base notes, Ani can do melody, and you must know the alternate melody, right?" Carlisle nodded, and with a very confused look moved towards Jane, Alec, Ani and the Lute in awe.

"this song was old when I was young!" Ani exclaimed, just as Alec began the introduction.

For days, even months after that, I was still debating on which was odder- evil bloodsucking goth teenagers showing up on our doorstep, or my grandfather, maid of honour and uninvited guests singing a song that had been popular when queen Elizabeth I was hot.


	16. An Inevitable Converstation

Nine

Weddings

But Ours...

**N/A: guess what? I've made up my mind, and I'm doing a second FF in this series. YAY! Rejoice people! And, as a hint, think multiples, twins, triplets, sextuplets, whatever! If you have a suggestion for parenting/pregnency, and how many babes in he cradle, message me or review with comments. Also, Vegas is more and more likely (*hint*hint*)**

DISCLAIMER: I don't own any characters, places, etc. in this story. Stephine Meyer does, along with the Canadian Government(I think). I just took where she left her story(ies) and ran with it.

Sixteen: Inevitable Conversations

Witchcraft, and Why Not To

Trust An Immortal Teen In The Kitchen

"Can I just give up already?" I begged, and brought my head onto the table with enough force to sent pain shooting through my forehead. Ani looked at me, peering over her reading glasses- apparently the all powerful witch couldn't cure bad vision, or maybe it was just for fun.

Seth shook his head. "No way. This hell is too terrible to endure alone." I stood up, pushing the evil text book away from me. Seth grabbed hold of my sleeve, a desperate look to his eye.

"You wont leave me to this, will you?" He was practically one step away from begging on his hands and knees. "You couldn't be so cruel!"

" I'm going to the kitchen for milk, numb skull!" I yanked my arm away from his grasp, and heard a chuckle from the other side of the room. Carlisle turned the page of his newspaper. " It's only grade ten math, and you make it seem like the Spanish inquisition."

"Terrible piece of history, that," Ani added. "Worse then the burning times."

"Nothings worse then the burning times." Jane intoned from up the stairs, and Ani sighed.

"Are you gonna come down now, or what?"

"I feel ridiculous." Jane said, disgusted. "All these bows, the stupid, stupid lace collar, I could kill Alice."

"That black thing you had on was so dreary," Alice skipped down the stairwell.

"I haven't had to wear pink since I was five," Jane was furious, and if Mum wasn't protecting us all like the plague was in the house, she would have had Alice and Rose on the floor, shrieking in pain. "You and Rose teamed up against me. What could I do?"

"Exactly," Rose countered. She had been Alice's side kick in the dressing room/ Jane's torture chamber " So stop complaining and accept it." Jane muttered something under her breath in Italian, and Ani tisked.

"Really, Janey,"She asked. "Is there a need for _that _curse?"

"Wait till you see me." Jane said, as if warning her ancient friend. I heard her steps coming down the stairs, and decided the milk could wait.

"Good god!" Seth exclaimed, when he saw Jane. Her blonde hair was swept back in two pig tails on either side of her face. The skirt of her strawberry pink skirt came to her knees, revealing knee high socks and Maryjane shoes. It was hard to tell which was lacier, the collar or the sleeves of the dress. Jane could have been Alice in Wonderland, but the expression on her angelic face resembled that of a very pissed demon from the pit.

"Actually," Ani said, coming up to Jane and spinning her in a circle. "It's not that bad."

"Shut up." Jane said sweetly, and stalked into the kitchen. Ani sighed.

"Damn those evil saints!" She said hatefully, and sat back down to the math. "They've morphed her into such a loathsome creature. Coarse, she always has hated pink."

"Seeing her like that," Alice said, thoughtfully, "Gives me and idea." When Alice says that, the entire household cringes.

Ani squealed, her visions letting her in on Alice's plans. Jane knew enough of Ani to be weary of that expression, and attempted to escape.

"Oh no you don't!" Ani used a gentle zap, holding Jane fast and moving her closer to Alice. Once the greenish glow stopped around Jane, Alice's stone hard arms wrapped around Jane's slim torso.

I decided this was as good a time as any to go to the kitchen for food, though what I saw there was nearly as odd as the Alice and Ani vs Jane scene. Alec, who remarkably had barely ever left the castle at home in Volterra, had know idea what cars, TVs, or even basic kitchen appliances were. Jasper had taken him under his Betty Crocker- like wing, and was in the process of illustrating the many uses and names of kitchen appliances.

"This," he held up an electric can opener. "Is a can opener."

"Can opener!" Alec replied, and very much like a three year old reached forward to grab the can opener. Jasper snatched it back.

"Now, you know better." Alec looked ashamed. "But I forgive you." his face lit up.

"This," Jasper pointed to the stove with a spoon. "Is a?"

"Oven!"

"What else?" Alec thought for a moment.

"Stove?"

"Yes!" Alec clapped. There was a sound of splintering wood in the living room, and I heard Carlisle say something in shock.

"There is no way in hell!" Jane cried out, a fallen angel screaming like the devil.

"Please Janie wanie!" Ani begged.

"Not bloody likely!"

"Jazz," Alice's head peeked around the kitchen door frame. "Come calm her down, will you?" Jasper sighed, and put down his spoon.

" Coming dear."

I grabbed three cookies from the tin, and with my glass of milk started walking back to the study table of terrors.

Its amazing what can happen when a out of the loop immortal teen decides to do the dishes. In an instant, there came a loud bang from the kitchen, Jasper, what will all the war training cried out a sharp 'get down!' which everyone obeyed, and in a second the room first filled with smoke, and then water.

Jane, Ani and Alice were all taking cover under the flipped over dinner table, our homework scattered across the floor. Carlisle was still sitting in his arm chair, face covered with soot, and feet soaked. He gingerly flicked off his shoes, and looked quite comfortable reading the paper in his socks. Considering all the things Emmett had blown up over the years, nothing could surprise him. It was Jasper who was brave enough to stalk into his beloved kitchen, intent on killing Alec should he have trashed it.

"Good god!" he said, which told all of us that we should probably go in to see what was going on. Alec was crumpled on the floor, looking at the mess of a dishwasher.

"Is it always that fun?" he asked, and Jasper shot a look of suicidal disbelief over his shoulder. He appeared to be holding what as left of a toaster in his hand, though it was hard to tell.

Esme, who had been finalizing some plans for a gazebo in the backyard, rushed into the room.

"What have you done to my kitchen!" she asked, surveying her ruined stainless steel appliances, all of them sending whiffs of smoke out of doors and vents.

"Your kitchen!" Jasper exclaimed, jumping up and straightening out his pink apron. He waved a spoon towards Esme, "You barely can bake brownies!"

"Well, I would if I needed to! And it appears that you can't even do dishes without destroying the electrical appliances!"

"Don't dare to blame this on me!" An outraged, soot covered, pink aproned uncle of mine pointed an accusing finger at Alec. "He did this!"

"All I did was wash out the toaster!" Alec defended himself. "You told me anything that touched food should be washed out!" the look on Jane's face showed that nothing appeared wrong with her brothers logic. Clearly, they had missed out on the electricity+water= boom! lesson, what ever era that was.

"Not when its plugged in, moron!" Emmett said, eager to defend his brother and to start whatever fight he could. Jane's face wavered, as if considering other arguments.

"Well, how am I to know! I've lived in a freaking medieval castle for the last three centuries!"

"Please," Carlisle called from the living room, "If you're going to fight, or permanently mane each other, at least do it outside out of earshot. Or," he added, after further thought, "You can just do battle in the kitchen, it sounds as if there's nothing much more anyone can do to it."

Jasper and Esme both winced at this. We heard the front door slam, and Leah, Embry, Quil and Jake stalked in, loud and covered with transition grease. They came to the kitchen, as to pick up their usual lunch meal, but all four of them stopped dead when they saw the state of the kitchen- water up to our ankles, soot and smoke perfuming the air and covering every surface possible.

"What happened?" Quil said, speaking around a crudely fashioned Tim Horton's BLT.

"Alec happened." Jasper said, and went back to removing melted spoons and cutlery, smoldering wooden appliances, and shattered glass plates from the washer.

"Should I check the electric?" Daddy asked, and Auntie Rose looked eager to help. Jasper nodded, and Rose and Daddy moved towards one of the walls.

"Mum," Daddy called to Esme, "Cover your eyes." she didn't, and Jake had to catch her as she fell when she saw Daddy punch a whole through her beloved wall. I didn't mourn the wall, really, I had always hated the wall paper.

Amazingly enough, grannie Esme is no light weight. "Dr. Acula," Jake called out to Carlisle, "You're needed in kitchen, section beside ruined refrigerator."

Carlisle chuckled, and came in the room to take Esme from Jake's arms. His limbs being free, I walked over and nestled inside of them.

"Totally ruined." Rose proclaimed. "The toaster being plugged in completely shot out all electrical appliances in the kitchen. Thankfully, it's on a different curcit then the rest of the house."

"there there dear," Carlisle patted Esme's head. "It could be worse." Esme was as close to sobbing as a vampire could be, and was clutching to her husband like a drowning rat to a lifesaver. I couldn't take this anymore, I was about to start laughing. I quickly showed Jake a picture of the local diner, out usual booth in particular, and he nodded knowingly. It's useful, being what ever I am.

"We should do this more often." I said, taking the last sip of our milkshake. A tradition of ours as dessert before meals, and soon after the waitress brought our burgers. Jake didn't answer for awhile, but then he looked up from his now mutated burger to answer me.

"Do what?" he asked, dribbling relish down his chin. I laughed and wiped it off with my napkin.

"This! Get away from the family of nut cases." I declared. "It's too insane sometimes."

"Yeah," Jake answered, deep in thought.

"You know," I said, thinking back on the last few weeks while adding katchup to the fries. The red colour made then more appealing, for obvious reasons. "We barely see each other. Homework for me, actual work for you, and then the bedlam at home."

"Oh, they are nothing compared to some."

"Your wolves are enough for twelve families of crazies."

" They're nothing compared to the old pack," he said, reminiscing. "they would be so crazy, being new wolves and teenagers. It was an added stress, high school."

"What was it like?" I asked, eager for stories. "The reserve?" he shook his head.

"Nothing you can imagine. The trees were similar, but there's nothing like those cliffs."

"Cliffs?"

"Yeah. Cliff diving is so much fun, you have no idea. You know how sometimes, on purpose, you jump from the highest branch from the tallest tree, just to feel the sense of falling and knowing that somehow, something will catch you?" I nodded. "Ten times better. And then, you can swim for miles and miles, and still not wash away that feeling of flying. Its wonderful."

"You sound like a druggie." he snorted with laughter.

"I guess I am," he said, and began cramming fries into his mouth. "A Cliff Druggie, that's me."

"better then a fashion druggie," I thought of Alice. "Or a mother druggie, or a healing druggie,"

"Or a cooking druggie, or a sadistic druggie, or a lets-blow-stuff-up druggie" he said for Jane and Alec.

"Or a Food druggie," I said, thinking of the wolves, "Or a music druggie, or a protection druggie."

"No," Jake said, in disagreement, "You're mom is really useful. She tries really hard to protect us all. You couldn't imagine."

"And you can?" I asked, jokingly. Jake turned his eyes to fiddling with the straw of his diet sprite.

"Bells and I go way back."

"Bells?" I asked. "No one calls her that. Isabella, maybe, to poke fun. Daddy calls her love, most of the time."

"Oh, trust me, I know what he calls her." he seemed angry at that, just slightly.

"What's with you right now?" I asked.

"Nothing," he said, trying to shake himself out of his past. I sighed. This conversation was inevitable, but it still came hard.

"Look, I know that you and my Mum go back along way. You were closer then I'd like to think. You felt for her, and she did for you." I saw his eyes light in protest, and I raised a cautionary, silencing hand. " Not like you do for me," I took his hand, attempting to comfort the fear in his eyes. "I know you love me, Jake. But, as much as you hate to admit it, you loved her first. Not as much, but still. And," I sucked in a breath, and blinked tears out of my eyes. " And, I like to think that if I ever died-"

"Don't say that," Jake yanked his hand away and slumped in his seat, as close to tears as I was. "If I ever died, and if Daddy was dead, then you two would at least have each other, as twisted as that may sound. It maybe that you love me Jake, and I do love you, truthfully, but sometimes the heart loves too many people in too many different ways, confusing as that is."

"And what if you're the only one I want now, huh?" he asked, almost angry, he leaned forward, intent on making his feelings clear. "What if, for some crazy reason, you've managed to replace my heart with your own? If you died, or took your heart back, what would I be? Empty. Empty, Nessie! What good would that be to anyone? What good would that be to me, even? I'd just be wasting air and biding my time."

"That's not so bad." I lied.

"It's not?" Jake asked in mocking laughter. He seemed angry, and was almost acting out the be cruel, or as mean as he could be with me. "You know that little Romeo stunt your dad pulled about twelve years ago? I thought he was being selfish. I thought that I loved Bella as much as he did, that I had just a much right to her as he did. I suppose what I felt when she got in that stupid car with your darling aunt that I only felt a shadow of what he was going through. Of coarse, I didn't know that then- I hated his guts, but really, things have to change. Tit for tat. Getting you was just bad karma."

The tears I'd been holding back shot from my eyes.

"Bad karma, eh?" I said, pushing away my plate and standing up. "Well Jacob, good to know when you're wanted." I stalked off, earning the stares of some locals.

"Oh for goodness sake!" I heard his feet pounding down the old ceramic tiles. "Nessie! I didn't mean it!"

"Lover's feud," an old lady said to her elderly friend. "She won't have those when she's our age, will she?" the friend nodded in agreement. Whether it was Jake coming up behind me or the old lady's ill placed words, I took off in a blinding run as soon as it was safe.


	17. Escape Plans and Surprises

Nine

Weddings

But Ours...

**A/N: sorry for so much drama in chappies 16/17- i needed it to set up for comedy in 18-_. Oh, and wait till the end of this chapter, buds, it's very surprising...**

DISCLAIMER: I don't own any characters, places, etc. in this story. Stephine Meyer does, along with the Canadian Government(I think). I just took where she left her story(ies) and ran with it.

Seventeen: Escape

Plans, Demon Flower Girls

Revamped Kitchens and Chocolate Cake

I ran and  tried to drown out Jake's frantic cries, which, once in the rural parts of town turned to howls. I didn't stop, I couldn't, my heart wouldn't let me. Parts of it were thinking 'god, how dramatic? Just go back and help him, he's as hurt as you'. But the rest of it was chanting 'get away, get away', mainly because I was slightly afraid of what would happen if I didn't run. If he chose to hurt me more, I couldn't stand to defend myself, not to mention what his hurtful words would do to himself as well. No, it was better to run, and try to forget.

"Nessie!" Jake called out, human again. I looked around my surroundings, seeing the run had taken me into a wooded area I was unfamiliar with. The trees were almost suffocating, and such a deep green they were black. "For god's sake, I didn't mean it!"

"So what?" I couldn't stand it, not matter how much I resented it, we would have to settle this sometime. "You said it- that's enough, isn't it?"

"Not if I didn't mean it," Jake's figure broke through the trees, and I turned my back to him for two reasons, A., I was pissed, B, his clothes had split and were probably about fifty miles away in rags.

"And trust me, I didn't."

"So?"

"So? Is that all you can say?" he rested a hand on my shoulder, and I shook it off. "No dramatic 'I should have known!s or 'how could you?s' or-"

"Just shut up!" I whirled around, uncaring of the space between us, and I couldn't help it- I slapped him. "I know that you're angry I know about the thing between Mum and you, but-"

"That you know isn't the problem, Renesemee," He said, calmly. "It's that you think I still love her. I do, in a friend way, but I guess I found someone better suited to me."

"Which would be me?" I asked, sarcastically.

"Well, yeah!" I stalked along the forest floor, not running but walking in a dejected, angry way.

"Wait, were are you going?"

"I don't know Jake!" I screamed back. "Like you care anyways." he sighed and followed.

"Nessie?" he asked, and I ignored him.

"Nessie, aw come on, you know I didn't mean it!" I didn't respond.

"Nessie! Please?" nothing.

"Renesmee!" I couldn't stand it, and I had to turn- whether that was because I was annoyed at being nagged or because of the heartache in his voice.

"What do you want?" I yelled towards him. I had found him much closer when I turned. It was so comforting I hated it. He didn't answer, just kissed me.

It took me long enough to stop myself from kissing him back that a good five minutes passed.

"So you just kiss me, as if that will solve everything?" I asked. Jake raised his eyebrows, as if to say 'it didn't?'. I couldn't stand it. I know I had decided to never forgive him and blah blah blah, but I loved him- what can I say. "Oh, what the heck!" I kissed him so violently that he ended up being shoved up against the nearest birch tree. We went on kissing till finally Jake managed to spit words out.

"Now, your father-"

"Shush," I said, and kissed his cheek. "Think, he won't know, and we're already getting married, aren't we?"

"I guess," Jake mumbled, playing with one of my curls.

Needless to say, Jake didn't need too much convincing.

"Perriwinkle or starburst?" Esme asked Jasper, pointing to two swatches of paint on the wall. Jasper sighed. It had been a week since Jake and my 'romp' through the woods, and life was just a nutty. Course, it would be worse if they found out... particularily Daddy, what with Jasper's old shotgun in the attic.

"Ma, I can't tell the difference."

"Hmmm. I think the perriwinkle," Esme smiled. "It goes better with you apron." Jasper would have blushed if he could.

"Are you going with a classical theme this time, dear?" Carlisle asked from the computer. He typed his own medical reports for the nurses, really, he had twelve hours more then the normal person.

"Yes angel," Esme answered. "In blues, whites, pastel greens and light pinks."

"Sounds lovely."

"Sounds girly." Jasper said miseribly.

"Hey," I pointed out, "Your the bloke in the pink apron."

"Only because I couldn't find anything else in Alice's closet, dear Niece. It's a miracle she even had this."

"I'll make you a new one, baby," Alice called, and I heard Jane grumble. I decided that the kitchen was less fun then the fitting, so I abandoned Esme and Jasper to their sea of colours, and went up stairs to watch Jane injure hell.

"Well?" Jane asked, when she saw me come in. "Laugh now and get it over with." I was tempted to. Jane's dress was bright, bright, as in sun bright pink, and was so full of ruffles the fabric could cover an elephant if stretched. With a sweetheart neckline, and little white gloves on her petite hands, Jane looked like a very pretty, extremely girly angel.

"It's not that bad," I said in support."

"Not that bad?" Jane asked, turning to see herself in the mirror. "I hate it."

"Hey!" Alice said, slightly insulted. "Have you any idea how long it took to sew those ruffles?"

"Ages!" Ani answered from her seat on the bed. "Absolutely ages!" Jane grumbled.

"She has no concept of ages, Anise," Jane said, yanking at the bow at her waist. "Poor things lived a mere century."

"Yes," Ani sighed. I gues her concept of time was different from everyone else's. "The fashions you've missed out on." she said pitying.

"Which reminds me," Jane started, adressing Ani. "Were you social when corsets were in style?"

"What phase of corsets? Stays, weave busks, metal busks, or wasp waists?"

"Which ever. My misstess at home was cut my a misshapen busk when human, and still has the scar."

"Really?"

"Yes. Sweetheart busk."

"She wasn't a fool enough to sleep in a corset, was she?" Ani asked, astounded. "That's rather painful to wake up to."

"My master's wife was never a fool." Jane said, protectively. Ani ignored her angered tone.

"Well, to answer your question, yes. Married off at fifteen. I was the adopted daughter of a nice gentleman and his wife in London, and the dowry was large enough to require an arranged match. The bloke was closer to twenty then anything."

"That's terrible!" I said, unable to help myself. I could barely stand to get married now, but when I was physically fifteen...

"Not really. I bore him three children, a set of twins and one other that I died giving birth to. Completely fake death, however, the doctor was an old son of mine." It was odd, to hear her speak of her past, as if it was a different person entirely. I suppose, to her, it was.

"Were the corsets painful?" Jane asked.

"Not usually. I had been training for awhile before I was adopted, so I was used to it. I can still manage to get a sixteen inch waist, when I can't get fourteen."

"Did you wear it that small even when pregnant?" I asked, amazed. That size a waist was sick.

"Goodness no! I scarcely went outdoors after I was breeding! It would have been a scandal for sure. Besides, I barely left house anyways, what with the cooks and supervising the cleaning, and teaching the children." Ani, in her white reception gown for the wedding, stood up and twirled around the room, happy to be living in the past. With the fullness of the skirts, and from the curves of her figure, you could almost imagine it to be her wedding, not mine.

"Sounds like fun." Alice said, grimly. Everyone seemed to take Ani's story as a bad thing, aside from Jane and Ani.

"Well, for the times it was. A nice family house, two heirs, and a pretty girl child to marry off. Perfect. The young wife was just a bonus."

"Aside from the fact that he didn't love you and was five years older." I added, disgusted with who ever he was. Ani took this hard.

"Jonathan loved me!" She said, angrily turning to face me. "He treated me fairly, and let me have my say over many things. He didn't mind my love of books, he took me out whenever I pleased. And he didn't get a cent of my dowry till I died! He asked if I wanted children, and he mourned my death till his last breath!" she was close to tears, and "They all did."

"She didn't mean anything by it," Alice said, trying to calm Ani down. Jane, for the first time in a century, looked with pity on her friend.

"You think you have it hard," Ani said, wiping at her eyes. "You all fear loosing your other half like the plague. I have to lose them every century! Nearly every decade! And nowadays, all I can do is watch from a distance, wishing I could be the one at their proms, wanting to be at the wedding wearing white. But no! Some girl who can age swoops in and has him for herself." She sat down on the bed, clearly very distressed. "Like vultures." Ani finished.

There was a moment of silence. I pondered what Ani had said, and I knew it was true. She did have it hard, stuck as she was. But, as Jane reminded us, she was stuck too.

"At least you bore children," She muttered, as Alice helped her out of her gown. "I can't even do that." This took me by surprise. The Jane I knew from stories my family told was cold and mean. But, as Ani had told us, she wasn't always that way. I was beginning to think that having her family murdered, then being burned at the stake, along with brainwashing leaders and an inability to know anything of the outside world for years had made her the way she was. Recently, away from all that, able to watch TV and not think about protecting people, she was a bit nicer. Alec, at least, was nearly normal. The times Jane came from required children, needed it. She'd been raised as a witch and a piece breeding stock, so maybe she had wanted children these past three centuries. Course, it could all be an act.

"Well," Alice said, over the hum of her sewing machine. "Would you like to try on your dress, Nessie?"

"I hope so," Ani said, perking up a little, though her eyes were still sad. "We've worked so hard. Even Jane put a few stitches in." She smiled at her friend. "Who knew Aunt Sibil's embroidery lessons would pay off someday?" Jane blushed, caught being something she didn't want to be seen as.

"No way!" Jane said, "If she sees the dress, she'll hate it."

"Not nessicrily," Alice stood up, flitting to her closet, which used to be a hall in the old house, but Esme had kindly surrendered it to her needs/obbsession. "But only if she's serious. I sighed.

"I'll promise not to hate it too much," I said, hoping that that wasn't a lie.

"Goodie!" Ani clapped, happy again, the past forgotten. I suppose with that much heartache, you have to forget pretty quick.

Alice skipped back with a dress bag and an odd piece of stiff white fabric under one arm.

"Here," she threw the fabric to Ani. "I've never seen a fourteen inch waist. Show?"

"Oh my goddess!" Ani cried out, looking at the fabric. "Where on earth did you get this?" Alice shoved my head through the skirt of the dress before answering.

"Rose wore it with a wedding dress once. Thought I'd keep it case it came back in style," she spoke while guiding my arms through the silky white fabric.

"It's beautiful!" Ani hugged it to her waist. "I'll go change." Ani walked off to the bathroom. "Jane, I'll need your help, please,"

"Yes, Anise."

Alice began zipping up the dress at the back, but stopped when the fabric pulled tight across my lower stomach.

"Hmm," she said, grimacing.

"What?" I asked, knowing that look was never a good one.

"Well, I thought my measurements were right, but I could be wrong," Alice was never wrong.

"I might have gained some weight," I offered. "I am half human, you know?"

"Yeah, I suppose." Alice ran to a drawer and pulled out the highest heels I had ever seen. "Try these on, I need to make sure the skirts at the right length." I did as commanded, and Alice with lightning fast stitch began to hem the folds of the skirts. Ani and Jane came out from the bathroom, Ani now in a long skirt and a very, very small waist thanks to the corset.

"Good grief!" I shouted, seeing the size of Ani's unusually small torso.

"Got down to twelve, with Jane's help!" She declaired.

"And that's a good thing?" Alice questioned, eyebrows raised and speaking around the pins in her mouth.

"In my books. I wonder..." Ani turned to Jane gleefully. "How far can your waist slim?" Jane shrugged, and was whisked off to the dressing room.

"You can get out of the dress now," Alice declared, standing up. "Do you like it?"

"I do."

"It's all hand made. Accepting, of coarse, the zipper."

"And the fabric and thread."

"On the contrary," Alice, after helping me out of the dress, opened a cupboard to reveal a spinning wheel, along with a loom. "Ani and I can weave, along with Jane." Trust Alice.

"Look!" Ani said, coming out of the room with Jane in tow. Ani had changed back into a T and jeans, but Jane now had on a very black skirt, with matching long sleeved button down. The shirt nipped in an amazing amount at the waist, and with Jane's hair piled in braids as it was, she looked like a good prodostant daughter again. "We have to show Carrie!" the two dashed off, leaving me and Alice together.

"Carrie?" I questioned.

"A pet name for Carlisle." Alice explained.

"Oh,"

"Now shoo!" she said, after I was dressed. "I'm working on Jake's suit!"

"Alice, a suit is a suit."

"Not in my books." she went to close the door in my face, but I shoved my foot in the doorjam.

"Now Alice, what are you doing?" I asked, knowing Alice well enough to be frightened. She just smiled slyly.

"You'll see." the door was shut then.

"Another chocolate cake?" Jake asked, coming though the door. I was three days since my fitting with Alice and Ani, and ever since every meal had been chocolate cake with milk or tea.

"You have not tasted m uncle's chocolate cake, obviously." I said. "You could only understand then." really, it was hard for even me to understand. We'd had chocolate cake for dinner on the night of the fitting, and I'd- well, craved it ever since. More then blood, which is saying something. Eating it for breakfast was fine, even the wolves had done that. But I wanted it in the middle of the night. I would wake up due to stomach or gut cramps, and would crave the cake. I think the cramps were from eating too much cake, but I couldn't stop myself.

Jake reached over and jabbed his fingers into my piece, tasting it. He nodded.

"I will admit, that is good."

"Exactly." I liked my spoon. "What are you up to?"

"I'm going to bed." He stated. "What about you?"

"Same, after I finish this piece."

"See you in the morning then." He said, and kissed my forehead, then dashed up the stairs to the guest bed room. Emmett, Billy and the wolves had taken over the wolf den tonight for planning, and I had bribed Leah to make sure they didn't ruin my wedding. Daddy, Mum, Jazz and Aunt A had gone to see the new vampire movie at the nearest movie theater, just for good laughs, Carlisle was on nightshift at the hospital and Esme was helping at the library sleepover party, playing centry between he boys dorm and the girls. Jane, Alec and Ani had gone hunting, Ani to 'supervise'- but we all knew there was a dance on the mainland. The house was empty but for me and the snoring love of my life upstairs.

Silently thinking, I finished my cake, drained my glass of donor blood and went upstairs too.

I woke up to terrible pains in my lower stomach. It came in pulses, uneven and unpredictable, and it nearly made me sick. As soon as is stopped for long enough, or at least had stopped hurting as much, I got out of bed and stumbled to the door. Once in the hall, I followed it to the very end. But before I reached his door, I colapsed in another wave of pain.

"Jake!" I yelled, needing some form of comfort.

Like the well trained dog he was, he woke instantly, and within minutes wast through the door and was crouched in front of me.

"What is it?" he asked, frantic. "What happened."

"Pain," I said in gasps. "Just- just pains."

"Like what?"

"Like, I don't know! Like my guts taken up bongo lessons?" Jake frowned in jest.

"Are you sure it's not just bad period cramps?" I could slap him.

"No!" I I said, shocked. "This is like nothing I've ever felt. Besides, I don't have my period for-" I thought, counting days, and gasped, whether this was because of the pain or my realization, I couldn't tell.

"What?" Jake was worried, but I couldn't speak. Thinking quick, I showed him a calendar, circled with September the seventh, then spelled the word C-O-U-N-T 2-8 D-A-Y-S.

"Kay," he said, and closing his eyes, counted using the picture in his head.

Then he gasped too.

"No way!" he said, as shocked as me.

"Way."

"Not possible, I mean... you've been- you've been-" he was stuttering. He never stuttered.

"Late? Yeah, but not like this! Five days! That's practically a week, Jake!" As it began sinking in, Jake began to laugh hysterically.

"You're father is going to kill me!" he said, as if it was the punch line to a joke.

"Jake!"

"He's simply going to kill me,"

"Jake! Listen to me!"

"Tear me limb from limb, rip me apart, eat my guts. Just like he said!"

"Jacob Black!" I couldn't deal with this. He was crazy, I was going crazy. "Stop this at once!" I needed him thinking. I could barely think. So, I slapped him. That sobered him up enough.

"Vegas." he said, solomly. "The only option."

"We can't just dissapear now!" I said.

"We'll, either that or I'm a wolf kebab."

"He won't kill you." I saw the doubt in his eyes. "Will he?"

"It's kind of an arragement of ours. He skips out on Bells again, I kill him. I knock you up, without marrying you first, and he kills me. Done. Handshake, contract."

"They don't have contracts like that."

"No, but- well, he is your father, Ness."

"But we don't even know for sure. Maybe I'm sick from the cake!"

"No way! Your Mum was showing after like, fifteen days. You didn't even fit in your wedding dress after a week! And think of our mutant baby! Wolf, human, vamp... We are screwed, babe! Screwed! And, you're best to pick the plot out and get the wardrobe died black, because he'd gonna but me six feet under!"

"Calm down." I said, "Deep breaths. We need to know for sure. As in, test sure."

"And if its- er- positive?"

"Vegas."

I could hear Jake pacing outside the Wal-Mart's washroom, back and forth, back and forth. We'd driven three towns away, just in case anyone we knew- or anyone Daddy knew, saw us. I was in the bathroom, pacing myself, the little stick of death in my hands. It hadn't decided if I was dead or not- AKA, if I needed baby names or could sigh in relief. Finally, after what seemed like an eon, it decided to enlighten me.

I walked out of the bathroom stunned.

"Well?" Jake had dark circles etched under his eyes, and looked very, very worried. I shrugged, and held up the stick.

"Pink." Jake nearly fainted, and I, in all my state, had to catch him. Amazing. He faints. I'm the one who has to deal with birth, and facing my parents, and everything. And He faints.

"So, that's a-" poor bloke, still had hope. I nodded.

"Vegas."

"Oh, oh yeah."

Three seconds later we were in the car, driving.

"So, not Vegas?" Jake said, running through our plan again.

"No. Niagra. Canada's Vegas." I answered, staring at the map and compass in my lap.

"And what are we going to tell them when we get back?"

"That the pressure of such a formal wedding was too much, so we decided to take vows before hand."

"In a drive through chapel in the middle of Canada. Great. Very Classy." Jake answered, frantically passing people and speeding. It appeared he was trying to run from Daddy, and he didn't even know that we had left yet.

"Well it's all we have."

"I know. And besides," he said, smiling, as he reached for my hand. "I've been considering it since it was discovered that Alice was in charge of my suit. Even as I proposed, if I'm honest."

I smiled in spite of myself. Trust Jake to be funny in this situation.


	18. Frantic Calls & 2 dollar wedding cakes

Nine

Weddings

But Ours...

**A/N: there is so much fluff in this chapter that you could use it for a pillow. But still, it's really cute. And the soda shop does exist, along with the fireworks on the falls. The drive thru wedding place- sorry, fiction! love!~ Elle**

DISCLAIMER: I don't own any characters, places, etc. in this story. Stephine Meyer does, along with the Canadian Government(I think). I just took where she left her story(ies) and ran with it.

Eighteen: Drive thru Everythings,

Tim Horton's, Frantic Phone

Calls And Vampire Movie Re-runs

Thank God that I had caller display, or else I would be screwed.

Jake was out 'hunting' for food- no, not a trip to the local zoo but a curcit around the town for some type of food. He was going to call when he found something, and then I'd get a taxi and head over.

He wasn't the only one calling.

The messages had poured in all night. Jake, a wolfman very, very dependent on his sleep, threatened to throw my cell in the toilet and flush, but I had saved my phone by hiding it in the dresser under a few pillows. I couldn't keep it nearly, we had to share a bed, a thing that I didn't object to, by the way. We could have splurged on the penthouse suite, my credit card was backed with Papa C's three hundred years worth of medical fees- when you don't have to eat, or have hydro, you don't spend much. But, I mean, I'd already skipped out with no explanation, and Jake's eating habits were enough to force even Daddy (who can be extremely cheap, surprisingly) to go bankrupt (Emmett had managed to do that once, and he had to fake his death). Every hour or so I got tired of Much music, and checked the messages.

Mom's were all very simple:

_Nessie, I know you're listening. You can barely stand not speaking for an hour, so listening to people talk after a while is one thing that you'll defineately do. I know you're safe, and I know you're with Jake. Whatever it is you two are doing I'll understand, so long as you do not- and I repeat DO NOT get hurt!_

Her next message was a side note:

_ By the way, your father is furious, and you might be best _not _to come back. Just for a decade or two, no biggie._

He was angry. Very angry.

_Renesemee Carlie Cullen! You are extremely trying sometimes, do you know that? What has gotten into you? Running out with a wolf the minute everyone's out of the house! Extremely good you aren't too social, or you would be ruined. Figured I'd mention that. Also, if that wolf touches you, I'll kill him. Truly. I will truthfully kill him. And, if you're close enough- well, lets say that I'll be yelling. More then Emmett at a football game._

Esme and Rose's messages were too garbled by sobs to make sense of. The wolves had decided that they would only have one messenger. The appointed was Seth, it seemed.

_ Dude, how did you work up the nerve? I mean, come on, she's hot, I'll admit, but.. Dude. Her father was from the freaking dark ages. He will kill you. Not to mention the rest of the family, as- well, as old as they are. Did you think about the old age morals, even a bit? Really, I admire you, you're either extremely brave, stupid, or butch, because even the strong uncle is slightly pissed over not being able to throw the stag._

Someone whispered on the other line, and Seth spoke again, embarrassed.

_ So, this is Nessie's number. Right. Sorry. But, for the record, you are hot, and if they do kill Jake... Never mind._

He was right about the uncles. Jazzy and Emmett were caught between cheering and hurting Jake for my 'wounded virtue' (Jasper- trust a southern gentleman). Emmett was laughing through chastising me, and I suspect it was because Rose made him speak against our 'elopement'. Jasper's message had a screaming Alice, Ani and Jane on the other end, screaming about embroidery and stitching and weaving and stuff that I really didn't care much about. The dress was beautiful, sure, but I would be happy getting married in a wet suit.

When they realized that messages didn't work, they switched to texts. Alice was first:

_Where RU?_

_Th dress? Th veil?_

_Th EVERYTHING! Im as clse_

_2 hat'n u as I evr willB!_

_Ani's devistated! Jane's actually show'n_

_emotion! & wrse, Alec's laugh'n _

_us! Hw cruel! Com bak. least wear_

_thdress 2 Jake's funeral. O, O ya, sweetheart,_

_ur uncles & father R on a rampage. Th _

_only 1 who isn't sharpen'n th spears is Carl, _

_I think cuz he's in shock._

Followed shortly by Jasper:

_I figre I shud mention tat I have _

_A CENTRIES worth o battle tactics, _

_all o which Im goin 2 use on U2 whn, _

_if, U com bak. Plz cm bak. We miss U. I miss_

_U. & every1's arngry & mean & I can't stand_

_it no more. Driving me Crzy. Reali. Sav me._

_Plz?_

It would be hard for Jazz, feeling everyone. Esme's and Rose's were basically the same:

_Plz tell me ur both alrite. Plz. I cn't _

_stand U 2 bein' hurt. Why didn' U tell us_

_U were leaving? We wud hav tried 2 stop U,_

_bt still. It wud have been better den noth'n._

_Plz B safe, plz be safe._

Luckily, not all my family was threatening my future husband's life. Alec, Jane and Carlisle seemed to have been roped into texting. Jane sent:

_I dnt realli care, bt R U ok?_

_I hope so, b cuz every1's goin'_

_crzy wit out U ppl. Insane. _

_&, plz don't tell any1, bt I do kind o_

_miss U. Nt enough to care though._

I suspected that Jane's time away from the Volturri, and Chelsea's bonding powers, was making her a little more- well, human. I mean, _Jane _missing someone? Come on. Alec as warming to us too, as I could see in this message:

_K, U promised 2 help me repair _

_drywall in kitchen. No go nw, I guess._

_Still, everyone misses U even Sis, & I _

_generally wnt what she want. So cme bak._

_Everythin is happier wit U and Jake here. I _

_dont remember last time I was happy4 so lng, _

_bt it's nice. Plz come back, for ur fam's sake._

Carlisle's was nuetral, he really was happy if we were happy. However, I suspect Esme was going to kill him if he didn't say something. His texting was not very texty, he liked letters much better then email or texts, or even phones, but times had changed, and he had grudgingly done the same.

_Clearly, you and Jake are fine,_

_as one of you is reading. If it's my granddaughter,_

_please come back. I know you don't mean much by_

_leaving like this, but everyone's taking it hard. I know that_

_you'll come back, hopefully sooner then later, but we have _

_forever, don't we? Any time you feel's right is enough. I stopped_

_Jasper from going out, he and Edward are very good at finding people,_

_and with our resident psychics you could be discovered in an instant._

_If it's Jake, though I think you should have asked before you did I I hold _

_no grudge. You have, honour, if you know what that means (I'm_

_not good at taking old phrases and making them new), and you would_

_have married her before anything, or after, if need be. At least, I hope_

_so. I'd hate to see my only granddaughter a trollop._

They never age, do they?

I got a phone call from Jake a few minutes later, saying where to meet him. I went down to the street, hailed cab relatively easy, and told the Cabbie the adress Jake had given. After a good thirty minutes, the cab pulled up along a Hersey's Chocolate factory outlet, and my eye brows raised. This was Jake's choice of food? I mean, come on, I like chocolate, but in my state it shouldn't be a meal. I paid the cabbie my tab, and walked in, finding that the chocolate store was connected to a recreated fifties era diner and soda bar.

Jake was seated at one of those high tables with the two stools, tapping his foot on the leg of the stool and looking at the TV nervously. Jake was very, very paranoid. The messages and the death threats had left him frazzled, because he truly believed that at least Daddy would try to kill him. In his mind, his only hope was Carlisle and his morals, but I knew better. Daddy wouldn't touch Jake as long as I loved him. Daddy would never hut his little Nessie- thank god, because otherwise Jake and I would be leaving the country.

"Hey!" I said, climbing onto the seat across from him. The tension and worry dropped from Jake's face as soon as he heard my voice. Soulmates or whatever you call people like us kinda have that affect on eachother. Jane had reportedly told Ani that even big tough Caius wouldn't do anything without talking to Athenodora before hand, just to make sure someone would still like him- let alone love him- no matter what terrible stunts he pulled. Quil, who had a little soulmate growing up at home on the reserve, was near tears any time he got to talk with Claire on the phone, they hated being seperated, but it was really needed.

"Hey," Jake returned the greeting, taking my hand in his.

"So," I said, looking around at the very fifties feel. "Why here?"

"Two reasons" Jake explained, looking over the menu with his free hand. "A, it's close, B, it has a great view of the falls." That was for sure. The giant windows on one wall showed a live picture of Niagra Falls, beautifully lit by the sunset. It was breathtaking.

"Cliff diving would be amazing from there." I mentioned, and Jake nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, if you survived."

We ordered two burgers, floats and a sundae for dessert, talking about nothing and everything. It's funny, cause the entire day I'd planned on talking about what the heck we were gonna do next, but all that worry melted away when Jake and I could just sit, talk, and eat about a ton of hamburgers. I was craving blood, and requested my burger be cooked raw. I was very temped to pick up the patty and suck the juices from it, but common sense told me not to. As we ate our sundae with two spoons, we began to finally talk about what was living in my stomach as we spoke.

"What do you think it'll look like?" I asked, and licked my spoon free of it's chocolate sauce.

"Pretty," Jake answered. "Like you. Though, I don't know whose colouring it'll inherit, mine our yours."

"Something in between, I guess. It's safe to guess it'll have dark hair."

"And maybe brown eyes, like yours." Jake said, thinking. "But then again, your dad had green eyes before, so maybe green."

"Curly hair or straight, do you think?"

"I donno. Straight, probably, but that kind of thing is hard to tell."

"Yeah." I agreed, and took a sip of my root beer. "Boy or girl?"

"I have no idea. Either would rock." Jake said, honestly.

"Do you think it'll be more like- like my parents, or you?" I meant if the baby would be more vampire-y or a wolf.

"See, that's the thing," Jake began. "The kicking that you've had is really vampish, my mom had a really easy time, and Emily's having a good pregnancy as well, so wolves cleary don't kill their moms as much. But then again, you've been craving meat along with blood, so that's wolfish as well."

"And I'm half human, half vamp. Our kid will be half wolf, an eighth vamp and an eight human, but what about the other two eights in there?"

"I have know idea," Jake said, laughing a little at our mutant spawn. "But Carlisle will."

"Yeah." Then I spotted something on one of the TV screens. "Oh my god!"

"What?" Jake leaned into the table. "Is it your dad? Has he found us? I refuse to die alone!" though spoken in jest, his words had a tint of honest fear. I hit him playfully in the arm.

"No, bozo. Look at the screen." what ever chanell the TV was turned to was showing a rerun of a vampire movie, and the fanger on the screen right now...

"Oh my god! Is that your uncle Jasper?" Jake said, squinting at the TV.

"No, but it could be." I said.

"What show is this?" the show flashed to comercials, but not with out showing what show it wy.

"Suck, apparently."

"We are totally buying that show for Jasper as a gag gift this Christmas."

"Sure. If we survive till Christmas." I pointed out. The fireworks started over the falls, and the night sky was lit up by thousands of exploding balls of blue, indego and red. It was beautiful.

"That is amazing," I managed to say. Jake nodded.

"Wanna go down to watch?" he asked, and I agreed.

We ran as fast as we could- well, as fast as a normal person could, to get to the falls. I leaned over the banister to catch my breath, and after Jake and I sunk into a bench over looking the beauty. Jake threw his arm around my shoulders and I cuddled into his shoulders.

"We still aren't married, you know." I pointed out.

"I know," he played with my curls. "But theirs a drive thru chapel a few blocks from here."

"Lets go then."

"After the fire works." Jake suggested, and I was all too eager to agree. The Canadian cold wind was blowing, and Jake was keeping me nice and warm.

"Everything considered," Jake whispered into the nook of my neck. "This is a pretty fabulous honeymoon minus the wedding."

"True say."

"How the bloody hell does this thing work?" Jake asked, trying to find where exactly to but the quarter. I sighed, and leaned across the car to the open drivers side window.

"Here," I said, taking the quarter and sliding it through the appropriate slot. The machine lit up, displaying options.

A. Jewish

B. Catholic

C. New Age

D. Traditional

E. Non religious

"What's new age?" Jake asked, and went to push the button. I stopped him.

"I am not being married by a hippie priest. Sorry, I have my limits." Jake shrugged.

"So what are we then? Your Mom's dad was Lutherain, your Dad was most likely a catholic/traditional, along with half of your family."

"Well, what's your family?"

"I highly doubt they have anything close to my parents marriage vows."

"True say. So what then?"

"Er..." Jake scanned the machine. "Here's a button that say questions."

"Push it." Jake did, and a voice came through the speakers.

"Yes?"

"Hi. What is the difference between traditional and non religious?"

"Well, traditional abides by the general vows, without mention of any god aside from where tradition dictates. So really, the difference is one has god mentioned a little, while non religious is no god what so ever and just the two of you."

Jake and I looked at each other, and Jake shrugged.

"We'll take non religious." I said.

"Perfect! Male or Female?"

"Excuse me?" Jake asked.

"Minister."

"Whatever."

"Great. What type of vows?"

"what to choose from?"

"There are thirty options."

"Surprise us." we wanted this done and over with, quick and simple and legal.

"What type of car garland?"

"Surprise."

"Need any letters sent out?"

"No."

"Any children or others that you'd like to envolve?"

"Ah, nope."

"Photoes?"

"Whatever."

"Should we wrap-"

"Look, can we just sign something and say 'I do?" I asked.

"Well, sure, I guess." the person on the other end was slightly shocked.

"Great."

"Drive through to the window on the left." We did, and were soon face to face with a big man in a priest suit.

"Dearly beloved," he began, leafing through the bible, clearly unprepared. "We are gathered here today-"

"Look," I said, "We just wanna say I do and sign. Skip to the end."

"Sure. Makes my job easier." he threw the bible over his shoulder, and I noticed it was made of styrofoam . "Do you love her?"

"Well, yeah."

"Do you love him?"

"Of coarse!"

"Kiss." we did.

"Your married when you sign." he threw a piece of paper through the window along with a black pen. We signed, and the fake priest signed as the needed witnesses.

So married over a styrofoam bible, in a drive through window, we went to Tim Horton's to have our version of wedding cake: two vanilla dip donuts, french vanilla coffees and a bit of chocolate milk and turkey meat for me- hey, I was eating for two. We took it back to out room, and ate over the end table, me sitting on the bed and Jake on the floor.

"everything considered," I said, mouth full of meat. "The fake, fat priest, the muti choice wedding vows, I wouldn't have it any other way."

"That's good, I guess." Jake answered, tightening his grip on my hand for a moment.

"Mainly because I didn't have to be sewn into a wedding dress." Said, and we both laughed. Suddenly, Jake leaned up and kissed my forehead, cupping my face in his hands.

"For the record, baby or no, I would love to have gone to Niagra, seen the falls and gotten married, just for this little moment of time." I blushed, and he moved to the seat beside me.

And in that state, at three o'clock in the morning, Jake and I ate our two dollar wedding cake and fell asleep for the first time as a married couple.


	19. Dreaming With Witches Popping In

Nine

Weddings

But Ours...

DISCLAIMER: I don't own any characters, places, etc. in this story. Stephine Meyer does, along with the Canadian Government(I think). I just took where she left her story(ies) and ran with it.

Nineteen: Search Parties,

Blood Test And The Oddities

Of Dreaming With Witches Popping In

"Lucy, I'm home!" Jake called out, coming through the door and slamming it as he always did. It must me a wolf thing to slam doors so hard the windows rattle, but I guess I can't judge. One time, when Daddy hadn't let me visit Papa Charlie with Jake, I slammed the door to my room so hard that it broke the frame and uncle Jasper had to pry the door apart with a crowbar- it was jammed enough that even Emmett had to help with it. Eventually, I had to climb out the window, and Daddy took a running leap at the door, taking out a good half of my wall on either side. Needless to say, Esme fainted, and Carlisle spent about twenty minutes trying to find out how, because that hadn't even happened when Emmett had two monkeys swinging from the chandelier in the dining room. But that's another story...

Anyways, it had been a week since our extremely down scale wedding, and about two days after it we decided that as we were most likely gonna be here awhile we might as well take a suite with kitchen added in. Really, we'd been spending so much on food that it was much less to get the more pricy room. Jake had gone out to get more groceries. Jake had taken to watching I Love Lucy, when my cramps, or in reality, the baby's kicking, woke us. Neither of us could figure this cub, as we called it, out. I'd get a kick on one side, and at the same time get on on the other side. Jake joked that the cub was doing splits, but it really hurt. At least in between the kicks it wasn't too bad.

"In here," I called from the bathroom. "It's okay to come in, I'm close to fully dressed."

"Close to fully is my favorite kind of dress, dear,"

"Oh, I doubt that now," I stated, turning to my side and putting a hand above and below my showing baby bump. Jake leaned against the door frame, looking at my reflection.

"Nope," Jake said, as if to end the matter. "You're still pretty cute."

"Thank you, even though you're lying." I stated. I had my shirt off, but my bra covered everything I needed to. I suppose my stomach as sticking out the same amount as it was last time I checked, but then again, I could be wrong.

"It's odd, eh?" Jake said, coming behind be and pulling me into a hug. "What ever mutant you've got in there grew like crazy at first, and now it's slowed."

"And I dunno much, but I don't think that babies are usually kicking at this stage."

"No, they aren't. I can tell you that much."

"You know what we need?"

"Carlisle?" Jake suggested.

"Ani too. They're both really good at healing people. Carlisle brought her into the children's ward at the hospital, and she figured out what each kid, snuck healing stuff into their food, and about half of them were released ten minutes later."

"What about the other half?"

"'On the mend', as grandpa put it." Cub kicked, and I doubled over. This thing had strong legs.

"Are you okay?" Jake asked, always amazed at the kicking's powers of pain.

"Fine. But I think this kid might be like Jane on the pain side. Every day it hurts me!"

"Well, at least you're not bruising like you mom did,"

"Quite. I'll take the earth shaking kicks over the bruises any day."

I was standing in a field of tall swaying grass, and the yellow flowers surrounding me bobbed their flowered heads. The meadow was circled with tall trees, and I could hear a stream trickling in the back ground.

"Lovely, isn't it?" I turned, hearing a voice behind me. There stood Ani. "You know, everyone's worried about you. Carlisle's gone to Quebec to look, Esme to PEI, your mom to BC, your father to Alberta, Leah and Seth are in Manitoba, Quil's taken Billy to Ontario, Jasper and Alice off to Nova Scotia and Newfoundland, Rosie and Emmett in the territories and Me, Jane and Alec in Ontario. You do know how worried we are, right? Aside from you father, we all are wondering about Jake to. He is alright, right?"

"Ah, yes." I answered, slightly confused. This was a very, very realistic dream. "Ani," I said, "I have to ask, are you real?"

Ani laughed. "Oh, quite real. Jane, Alec and I did a bit of magic to track you down, and we checked in on your dreams to make sure it's you. Coarse, how many Renesemees are there out there?"

"Alec and Jane are here too?"

"Yeah, but they haven't done astral projection in like, decades. They're here, though." Ani sighed, as if hearing another person speaking. "Then try a little harder, Alec. Well then, drain some of Jane's."

"That's not fair," Jane's voice called through the meadow.

"Okay, where in the world are you people?" I asked. "This Witchy business is freaking me out."

"You're freaked out," Came Alec's voice from around a tree. "I'm a floating head." it was true. Alec's bobbing, bodiless head came around the corner. "Ani, I don't have enough power."

"I do." Jane sang out, appearing beside me.

"Yeah, but Jane, do you really need two hands?"

"Do you?"

"I've just given him some of my spare energy. If I give him any more I can't get back, Jane, you know that."

"we need more power." Alec said, his head joining in the insane conversation.

"This is what you two get for hanging around a bunch of power hungry bloodsuckers for so long. Their power took yours, and you used your gifts for evil. This is karma."

"Karma hates us." Jane moaned, sinking to the ground and pulling some grass up to get to the warm soil beneath.

"No, it has given us another chance," Alec pointed out, and it seemed that his head was nodding, though that was hard to tell.

"Here Alec," Jane said, plucking a worm from the soil and holding it to Alec's mouth. "This should be just enough."

"That is gray magic, you do know that, twins."

"I know, buts it's a last resource. And I need the power for good reasons, so the power wont turn black." He opened his mouth like baby bird.

"Wait, wait, wait," I said, confused. The three magical people turned to face me, astonished as if they'd forgotten I was there. Witches bickering in an astral world, how lovely. "Before you begin eating worms, will you tell me what's up?"

"We've been trying to track you down." Alec said, and chewed on his worm before he swallowed. "Ah, that's better." his body appeared, though it was a faint outline like a ghost.

"And your dreams are very open, mainly because of your gift. You should learn to shield like your mother." Ani added.

"We came only to make sure there was going to be a wedding for our masters and us to attend." Jane spoke for herself and her brother, but I could tell that she had missed me to. Maybe she didn't hate the pink flower girl dress as much as she said.

"Whatever." Alec proclaimed, searching a tree for something. He found a slug and popped it in his mouth, appearing to utter a prayer at the same time.

"Well, it makes a difference."

"Is it only you guys here?" I looked around. "No flying monkeys or crystal balls?"

"Nope. And no pointy hats or cauldrons, either." Ani added, joking, and Jane scowled. "What, Janey waney? We aren't in the burning times anymore, dear."

"And," Alec added. "Laughing at an evil thing takes away its power."

"I guess your right." Jane answered, sighing. "And, Nessie, Chippy's here too."

"What?"

"He has a natural ability to be a familiar to us all." Ani said. "Nothing too special."

"But he managed to manifest properly." Alec said jealously, and crossed his arms.

"Here he comes now!" Ani said, happily. Chippy flew threw the tree line like a comet, and landed on Alec's shoulder, a mouse in his teeth.

"Thank you," Alec said, and bowed to the Chipmunk. Chippy nodded, and Alec ripped off the mouse's tail, drinking the blood.

"Oh, this is way to weird for me." I said. "I can't take people ripping the heads off rats. I'm-" I stopped myself before I revealed Jake and mine's secret.

"Pregnant? We know." Jane said, apathetic, and maybe jealous. "No biggie. It doesn't matter to us."

"Witches are open to pregnancy outside of marriage," Ani said. "Your father on the other hand..." Ani shook her head. "But it's not good form to speak evil in the land of good. Bye now." She started fading.

"Are we leaving so soon?" Alec said, grudgingly. "I was hoping to see if our mummy's still here, or if she's come back."

"We can do that later. Besides, you don't have enough energy to speak to the dead, you know that."

"Lets just go, baby brother." Jane said, holding Alec's hand and fading with him.

"Baby brother by three seconds!" Alec intoned, and the last thing I saw was his fading tongue sticking out at his ancient sister.

I woke with a start, trying to remember my dream. Alec, Jane, Ani, Chippy, people eating earthworms, search parties...

"Weird." I said, and sunk back into the pillows.

Jake sat at the kitchen table, reading a comic book he got a drug store, and I was cooking dinner. I was a much better chef then Jake, in reality, he was happy eating food raw, so the cooking duties fell to me. Right now I was frying our steaks, as the pasta water was boiling and the corn was getting nuked in the microwave. I was thinking over my odd dream when a sudden realization brought me back to reality. That was all for the better, because the more I thought about Alec's floating head the more confused I got.

"You know what I don't get?" I said, drawing Jake's attention away from Wolverine for a moment.

"What?"

"Why it's so quite."

"We have a radio we can put on," Jake offered.

"No, not like that. I mean, no one's called in days..."

"You're right."

"should we be worried?"

"Really, not in my mind. That ring tone of yours was getting really, really really annoying."

"Thanks." I said, flipping our two rare steaks onto paper plates, scooping out some corn and pasta and spreading the noodles with Ragu- the Black family secret for spaghetti, or so I'd always been told. I served our meals, and Jake got the Dr. Pepper from the fridge, pouring us both a glass into red plastic cups.

"Do you think this is normal married life?" I asked, sipping at my drink, to taste. It wasn't good enough, so I added some donor blood to it, just a but to make it tolerable.

"No. Normal people don't have mutant babies, or live in a hotel suite, or are kinda hiding from family."

"Which reminds me," I said, cutting up my steak. "How do you think the family will react to our little cub?"

"Well, aside from you father killing me, along with other relatives possibly, well."

"Esme and Rose will be so happy. Another baby."

"So will Leah, she's been hoping to have a baby in the wolf pack, and she won't mind it's mixed heritage too much."

"Emmett, Jazz, the wolves-"

"They'll make it laugh like crazy, they all loved you when you were little." Jake finished my thought."

"Mum and Daddy will be the physically youngest grandparents in the world, and your dad will have a grand kid on site."

"Not to mention this means Esme and Carlisle have raised three generations of mutants and vampires."

"I bet the cub will call your dad Pappa Paw."

"Only if your dad can be Dracie."

"What will Carlisle be? Or Esme?"

"Maybe... Oh, I don't know."

"I think Esme will be Essie, like she was for me, and I always called Carlisle Lee."

"And your aunts will me Auntie Rose and Auntie Ali."

"And there's a new Auntie in Ani."

"And with Jane and Alec around the Cub would have Janey Waney and Leckie."

"With wolves too."

"I know! The cub would probably call Embry Emmy, like you did, and Quil will me Willie again, and Leah will be Eah."

"and Jasper's back to Uncle Jazzy, and Emmett back to Uncle Em."

"And we'll be mom and da-" Suddenly, the door crashed open, crackling with electric blue, red and green zap.

"Found you!" Ani's voice chimed, as she climbed over the slightly smoking door, flanked by Jane and Alec, and Chippy hovering above them. "We told you to shield better."

"What are you doing here?" I asked, amazed. Jake was one step from shifting, and was shaking like the train in the movie Earthquake.

"We told you everyone was looking for you." Jane said, dusting some dust from her shoulder. "Should've gotten out when you could."

"And now we bring you back home." Ani said happily, and went to the closet where our suitcases were.

"But what if we don't want to leave?" I asked, outraged that they just came bursting- literally, bursting in.

"Well, you have to." Alec, now with his head in place said, coming over to grab the donor blood and get a straw from the cabinet above. "So..." He took a gulp of it. "Suck it up, princess."

"Hey, I want some too!" Jane said, and Alec picked up a glass and filled it half way. "I haven't had real blood in weeks."

"But Animal blood isn't too bad, if you glamor it," Ani offered. She was now going through our drawers with both green zaps and her hands, loading the suitcases.

"You gotta admit, that wolf blood is pretty good." Alec offered, and Jake looked at him darkly. Alec raised his hands. "Not shifter, plain old wolf."

""Better be."

"I like lynx better." Jane said, gulping down her blood like a starving woman. She set the empty glass down and went into the bathroom, and Alec began loading our food into a freezer box.

"The clothes are packed." Ani called out.

"Same with the toiletries," Jane called.

"And the food." Alec spotted Chippy lapping at Jane's blood glass. "Get out of there!" Chippy looked sad and rubbed against Alec's sleeve. "I know you're sorry, but you no better. Now, look for lost stuff." Chippy did, and reported nothing

"Great. Now," the three people who had packed for us and the vampire chipmunk began herding us out the door. "Let's go."

Jane had fixed the door to the suite with a productive white zap, and Ani was still pleased as punch about it.

"You two are learning it over again so fast!" she eagerly said for the fiftieth time. I was more concerned with Alec driving, as Jake and I weren't allowed to touch the steering wheel.

"Are you sure you can drive?" I asked.

"sure. And besides, we're only taking it to the airport. Flying home, much quicker."

He crashed before we got that far, Two vampires, one werewolf, a witch a bloodsucking chipmunk and a breeding mutant had to take the bus to he airport.


	20. A modern Spainish Inquisition

Nine

Weddings

But Ours...

Twenty: A Modern

Spanish Inquisition, Blood Tests,

And A Talk With The Evil Witch Twin Herself

"What Got into you?" Esme shrieked as we came in the door. Jake sighed, as if to say _Here we go._

"Sorry Esme." I said. I was really sorry.

"Sorry? Sorry!" We were in the living room now, and Esme rushed at me. She was caught between slapping me, and hugging me. She hugged me. "That doesn't mean much!"

"It's all we have." Jake said, as she turned to him to hug him too. Clearly, Esme wasn't going to kill me. Ground us, yes, but kill us, no.

"We didn't know were you were," Carlisle said, obviously relieved. "I thought, maybe you need space. Ani and I tried to keep everyone back-"

"Don't worry, Grandpa," I said, coming over to him in his armchair and kissed his cheek. "We had our reasons."

"I'm sure you did, dear." I felt something prick the inside of my elbow, and looked down. "Just like I have a reason for blood tests."

"Carlisle-" I started, watching as my mutant blood poured into the little tube.

"Don't fret," he said, taking the vial and tucking it in his shirt pocket. "Your father asked for it."

"Damn straight I did." Daddy boomed from upstairs. In a instant we was in in front of me, and I cowered back. He looked like a storm cloud. "What possessed you to do it?"

"Well-"

"And YOU!" Daddy came roaring towards Jake, enough that Jake fell onto the couch behind him. His seat was between Jasper and Emmett, and if he hoped they'd protect him, they were wrong.

"I want a word." Daddy was scary calm. "Now."

"We do too." Jasper intoned. I wasn't sure who scared Jake more, Emmett, Jasper or Daddy.

"Not to mention what I'm going to do with you!" Alice cried out, with Rose standing behind her to add the threat. It was obvious they talked to me.

"Carlisle," Daddy said. "Would you run the bloodwork for me?"

"Of course."

"Really Edward, is this all needed?" Mum asked, giving me and Jake a helpful, sympathetic and understanding glance.

"Bella, love, I hate to tell you, but-"

"It is." Jasper finished, and strong armed Jake with Emmettt out of the room. Daddy followed.

"I'm best to tag along, just so they don't kill my only son." Billy said, and wheeled himself after them followed by Jane.

"Where are you going?" I asked, worried even more. Jane was closer to normal, sure, but she was still a phycopath.

"What, you expect me to miss this?" Jane asked, laughing as she looked towards us. When Jane had joined Jake's death party and the door to Carlisle's library was closed, I stood up to go too.

"And where do you think you're going?" Rose screamed.

"Yeah! This dress took ages!" Alice moaned, her head raised to the heavens. "And now it's pointless, cause we're not going to have much of a groom left after-"

"Look-" I started, but Embry silenced me. He had an icepak in his head, ad looked positively sick.

"just hear them out, they've been complaining so much I've got a mean headache."

"Well, I'd like to, Embry," I said, standing up. "But my fiance and your alpha is about to be butchered my my father and three other vampires!" Seth burst out laughing, and Leah slapped him.

"Sorry," he said. "But I still can't believe he had the nerve to elope with you. I mean, come on, how stupid can you get?" I huffed, and shoved through Alice and Rose. Mum and Bella looked as if they were still getting over the fact that I was alive and well, so they were going to be no help in keeping Jake alive and breathing. I stomped down the hall.

"And where do you think you're going?" Alice asked, a step behind me.

"You are not getting out of this easy, miss Cullen." Rose stated, calling me by what she always did when I was bad as a child- which, incidentally was about six years ago.

"No way! We stitched like crazed seamstresses!"

"We would have stained your dress red with the amount of blood that would have come out of the needle wounds- that is could be bleed."

"Ani could bleed! We had to take off an entire collar of lace once, because of it!"

"Regardless of if you get married, or if your groom is alive to get married, you ARE WEARING THAT DRESS when you walk down the isle."

"Fine!" I turned and said back to them. "How bout I try to save Jake so there is someone to wear the dress for?" they thought for a moment.

"That is only logical," Rose said, as Alice considered.

"Fine. Save your groom. But you cannot make any changes on the dress from now on!"

"Or on the honeymoon! That thing is pricy!"

"Alright." I said, now at the door to the library. "It's a deal." Alice and Rose walked off happy, and guessing at why Ani was growing queen Anne's lace.

Luckily, Daddy and the troop of pain had left the door slightly ajar, and I was able to see through. Jake was sitting in a chair, his hands bound to the arm rests as Emmett, Jasper and Daddy circled him slowly. Jane, delighted, sat on the couch, one step away from clapping in glee.

"I'm only going to ask this once, Jake." Daddy said. "And then, I will demand." He stopped circling, and Emmett and Jasper stood on either side of Jake. Daddy was dead serious, Jasper seemed to only be there to tell if Jake was lying, and Emmett I suppose was there to be the muscle and was a second away from bursting into laughter. "Jake, why did you and Nessie leave?" Daddy obviously had never thought we'd gone away to get married, so he thought the worst, complete with cheap motel rooms to be rented out by the hour. When Jake didn't answer imediately, Daddy nodded, and Emmett's fist pounded down on Jake's flat hand. It wasn't enough to break anything, but it would give him a bruise. Jane yet out a small cry of 'yay!' and sat up straighter.

"You see," Said Daddy, "We no you'll heal. We understand that we can carve you like a pumpkin, and then some, and you'll still live. This makes this entire process more painful for you, and much longer for us. So, just tell me wh-"

"You know," Jake said, leaning forward towards Daddy, "If you had've just asked, I would have told you. But no, now I think I'll make you wait. Imagine the worst Eddie- I won't say what happened and what didn't until I want to."

"So it's a power struggle?" Daddy pulled up a chair. "How deja vu. Last time, if you remember, I won." He was reffering to his and Jake's rivalry for Mum.

"That benifited us both, clearly, in the fact that I went off with your daughter without you knowing or receiving your blessing." Jake countered. Touche, I thought. Daddy ground his teeth.

"I could just pluck the information from your mind."

"Not if I don't think about it. And besides, thanks to miss pain and master numbskull, your dear Bella's shield protects me." Daddy nodded at Emmett and again the fist came down on the hand.

"He does not fear you, Edward." Jasper said, knowingly. "He is completely set on making us all wait. How unbecoming." It went on like this, Jasper dropping comments of similar nature, Emmett inflicting the pain, Daddy questioning and Jane clapping in glee. Then, I felt a tap on my shoulder, and turned, ready to pounce.

"Sorry for scaring you," Ani whispered, and Alec waved from behind her. "But we've come to help."

"Even him?" I pointed to Alec.

"Good work means good karma means more power." Alec explained.

"Now, see?" Ani said, turning to face her friend. "Thinking like that will get you no where. All negative and power hungry. The Goddess doesn't bless you for that."

"I know," Alec said, looking ashamed. "But I've been programed for three centuries to think that way. She'll cut me a break."

"She already has, you were allowed to come here, and find me!"

"Yes. I was." For a split second, there was a glimmer of something more then friendship in both their eyes. "And we never did get a chance to complete that promise..."

"Okay, back to reality!" I said. Gosh, these magical beings get off track. "Helping me and Jake?"

"On it. I'll deflect you mother's shield, and Alec will numb Jake out. Then, you swoop in and tell your father everything he needs to know."

"Great."

"Alright. Ready, Alec?" Alec nodded.

"I'm always ready."

"Fabulous." a green light glowed around Ani, and she said something in an odd language. Then, Alec also put out a shimmering fog of silverish color.

"Oh!" I said, seeing it drift pass me. "It's so pretty and silver!"

"You can tell it's silver?" Alec said, in wonder. "Only I can see that."

"Well, that's wrong." I stated, as the fog seeped through the crack in the door. "Can everyone else see it?"

"Sometimes. This time I've disguised it."

"I'll ask one more time," Daddy's voice boomed. "Why did you run off?"

"Well, Eddie, I managed to kn-" Jake's words choked, and he was silent.

"What happened?" Daddy asked, looking at Jake.

"I have no idea," Jasper said, peeling back one of Jake's eyelids. The eye showed the whites. "He's numb. I can't feel anything from him.

"His battery must've run out." Emmett said, joking. No one laughed. Jane looked very disapointed that the pain wasn't continuing.

"Ah well," Daddy said. "We can see if pain revives him."

"No way are you doing anything more to him!" I said, bursting through the door. "You've bruised his hands enough!"

"Nessie," Daddy seemed angry. "I'm still very annoye-"

"That your one and only daughter might not be virtuous any more? Because let me tell you, you're right."

Jasper gasped, Daddy looked furious, and Emmett made a noise that said 'oh, you are so screwed' in any language.

"Nessie Cullen, I would have thought you'd know better." Daddy said, attempting to be calm. Ah, the legendary Angry/Calm emotion. Only illicted from my father when he is well and truly pissed. Very scary... Until you realize he's not going to hurt his only child. I'm his little girl, now and always (for real).

"Well, Daddy, I do. We ended up getting married in Niagra. Drive thru chapel, if your wondering. The wedding cake was two vanilla dips." Jasper gasped.

"I'm astounded you taste is so bad," Jasper said, like a hostess who's best potroast was just called disgusting. "After all the chocolate fondant I made for you cupcakes and wedding cake!"

"I don't think that Jake would just drive off with you and marry you, Nessie. There must've been another reason."

"Maybe there is."

"Oh? Enlighten me."

"What if I don't want to?"

"You have no choice, I'll know it someday." Ah, the mind reading threat. First used when I was suspected to eating my birthday cake a day early at the physical age of eight. Coincedentally, Jake had eaten it.

"Maybe. But you won't know it till I think of it. And I'm very good at not thinking."

"Obviously."

"Thanks, dad. I get my brains from somewhere."

"Oh, so now it's down to intelligence, is it? I have a century on you, Miss Cullen."

"So what? I know more about Jake then you do."

"Really? Your seven years hold more knowledge then my thirteen?"

"Well, I hate to break it to you, but yes."

"I must say, I never did think him capable of this. I trusted him."

"Well, he did you right. I'm a married woman."

"Not with my blessing."

"Well, it was an improptu decision."

"Spawned from what exactly?" I crossed my arms and looked away, childish as always.

"I'm not telling."

"Edward!" Carlisle's voice rang out from the hall, rather panicked. "I don't think stress is good idea for Nessie right now."

"Her under stress?" Edward said. "Her? I've spent week wondering what degraded state my only living child is in! Stress not good for her? Wait till she has her own children, then she'll see!"

"That wish may come sooner then you'd like," Carlisle rushed through the door way, flailing a piece of paper around in his hand.

"What does that mean?" Edward said, hoping against hope.

"Well, I hate to tell you this, and I don't know how to say it, but," Carlisle swallowed nerviously. "But, well, Nessie and Jake... I should say that. Maybe they should tell you. After all, it is their- um..."

"Oh for god's sake!" I cried out. "I'm pregnant, Dad! That's why we got married, because we knew you'd flip. We did you a service, for god's sake."

"There was a very awkward silence. Daddy was helped to find a seat, and then Carlisle wisely disapeared. Jasper was trying to calm Daddy down, and Emmett was laughing hysterically. Alec and Ani woke Jake up then, and on seeing me he called out.

"Nessie!"

"Yeah, dear."

"I didn't tell him anything."

"Sadly, darling, I did." I moved towards him, then thought again. "You need help to get out of those?" I asked, not wanting to untie him if he could himself. Jake just pulled up and the fabric ripped.

"So what now?" Jake said, as we walked out. He had his arm around my waist, and my arm was draped around his shoulders.

"We pray that Daddy stays quite and hope the reactions from everyone else are just as quiet."

"That really is all we can hope for."

"Remind me again how you talked me into this?" I begged Ani, as we sat across from each other on her four poster bed. The bed, like everything else Ani had brought along had been imagined up by Anilise hersself witchy woman extrodinare.

But it was her witch accomplice we were talking about.

"Please?" Ani begged back. She knew my comment meant 'is there any possible way I can get out o this' in Nessie talk. "She's so unlike herself. She wears that terrible black all the time, refuses to let her hair down- literally, and won't set a foot outdoors aside from hunting. I mean, come on! We're witches, at least go outside to see the full moon!"

"I never have been clear on the whole broom thing." I said, starting a new topic. Ani was easily distracted.

"We don't ride them, but we do clean." Ani stated bleakly. She knew what I was up to- curse the empath/psychic/mindreader traits! "anyways, she might appear to hate the world, but really, she used to be a sweet girl."

"And she's spent an eternity being evil!" I stated. Ani shook her head, pitying my lack of expirience.

"you have no comprehension of eternity, dear."

"And you do?"

"I know more then I let on." Her eyes flashed with this weird powery thing, and you could feel the electricity cracking in the air around her. Sure, she may look young, but Ani seen centuries pass.

"That's quite right," she said, answering my thoughts. "And there have been thousands with your personality, millions with your traits and appearance, and even more that are like those you admire and spend your time with. Fashion, age, time, social things, mind sets, religion, it only can change so much without straying to chaos. I have seen empires fall, and have had those who have seen past empires tell me the tales of their demise. What makes you think that the Volturi are any different?" This old chessnut. It had been debated over and over between us all since Jane and Alec came for their happy reunion.

"they have lived longer then you have." I pointed out.

"Mayhaps, but they can never change. I can. I can change everything- just like Jane and Alec used to. Which brings us full circle." Ani smiled, and I sighed. She'd tricked me into talking about Jane again. "Will you or will you not take her out hunting?"

"Do I have a choice, oh great and powerful witchy woman?"

"If I let you have one."

So here I was, sitting on a tree branch with Jane, waiting for some wild beastie to cross the ground beneath us.

"I know you don't want to be here." Jane said, apathetic. It was her go to emotion, I guess.

"What makes you say that?" I asked, trying to be happy. Impossible, but I could try. Jane lifted her hand, and I saw a slight red glow around it.

"My abilities are shifting back to what they used to be." Jane lowered her hand. "I guess spending time with Ani, going through training again, has given back my gifts." Jane smiled like a little child. "My master will be very pleased."

"Yeah, what is it with you and 'master'?" I asked, truly confused.

"My master, or Aro, as you would know him, saved me and my brother from the fires. That leaves me in his debt. But, I would serve him regardless, he is good."

"He tried to kill me as a baby."

"That was not his choice. You might've been a menace."

"Am I?" Jane had no reply. A silence passed, and I spoke again.

"So, if you have all these powers, why did they go away?"

"Ani has a therory. She thinks that Alec is stuck numbing people out because he was trying to do that to us as we roasted. She thinks that I'm stuck, well, hurting people is because that's what I was so keen on doing as they lit the fires. To have the world burn with me."

"So when you got changed, you were stuck with what your last power was?" Jane shrugged.

"How am I to tell?" She looked down. "I have not the sight anymore."

"Ani says that your master keeps you too close. You never let your hair down." Jane looked at me quizically, and reached up to her hair. Quickly she took out the ancient combs and her golden locks tumbled down.

"There."

"No," I said, nearly laughing. "I meant, relax, you know?"

"How can one relax when your master's safety is on your hands?"

"Easily. There's thirty other people there to save him, and I bet he can pack a punch too, after so many years." Jane looked as if she didn't understand the last bit, but still replied.

"None are as powerful as me or Alec- aside, from perhaps the lady."

"The lady?" This was one weird world, the one Jane lived in.

"Picia, the masters wife. She mimics anyone's powers, and can duplicate them any time she chooses." Jane looked small, for once not as sure of herself. "She is my only threat."

"So you impress master more? Isn't that a bit controlling of him?"

"I suppose. Master is controlling. He sent his own sister to her death." She shook herself. "But I shouldn't talk about the master that way"

"what about the other two? Are they as bad?"

"Caius and Marcus?" Jane looked up at me, still a little childish, but older then I'd ever be. "Caius is- mean. Cold and cruel. He only shows any affection towards his Athenodora, and that's only in brief glimpses. Marcus, he's basically dead. But at least he's kinder."

"kinder?" How could any of the Volturi be kind?

"Yes. He was the one to vote your life, you know. And the life of your parents and aunt."

"I guess." I shifted uneasily. Jane was too, too open right now. It was as if some magic bond had been lifted, and she was breathing again. Thinking of what I knew of Chelsea's powers, I suppose the was true.

"What's it like?" Jane asked, after a moment.

"What's what like?"

"Aging?" She was like a little girl at christmas, eager to get a peek at a toy that wasn't hers to have. "Is it fun, to grow? I've quite forgotten."

"It's, interesting. And being pregnant is kind of neat too." I said, on the verge of smiling. All powerful Jane didn't know everything about everything.

"I wish I had of bred." Jane sighed. "It was duty, but a blessing. Babes used to be so much fun. Now they're just tasty."

"You eat babies?" I was horrified. I knew she was bad, but that's really, really bad.

"Everyone does. A tourist is a tourist." Jane shrugged. So, okay, not totally normal yet. "But I still think they're kind of cute, even without a neck."

"I suppose it must be hard for you," I said, trying to wrap my head around her twisted physe. Jane was a tough cookie, baked sweet, but too hard to bite into all at once. Milk was needed to soften her up. "Living as you were Are."

"I live without time. I truly forgot about fashion, about how eras passed. I was still in 1647, up till about a month ago. Even when I ventured outside, it was not in the path of planes or cars or anything. Barely boats, even." I considered this. It was amazing to think that Aro, artistic pursuer of the millenia, didn't have a TV. I mean, come on!

"Don't think me good, though, Renesemee." Jane intoned, half ashamed. "I'm evil. I choose darkness all the time. I used to be good. I used to like buttercups and dollies and weaving. I used to dream of babies and husbands and growing old and passing on. I used to be alive. And now, I'm trapped."

"At least Ani and Alec are trapped with you." I gave her something. Her eyes lit up a bit.

"Did you know that Ani and Alec are ingaged?"

"What?"

"It's an old arrangement, to be sure. But a true one. They were to marry when sixteen. Have babies, be happy. I was promised too. He was- I forget what he was like. I know his name was Adam, though. I remember that. And he was dark- part roma, if I remember right. We were all to have beautiful babes. Alec is still good." Jane offered, looking at me as if to defend her way of life. "He numbs out all our food, and also most of us when we have to fight. He still tries, at least. I like the pain too much."

"Why?"

"I think it's because I hate the world. I was robbed of so much, yet in truth lost so little. Maybe it's because I get power. I get recognized and cherished like I used to. I'm an oddity, but who isn't?" I took this all in. Wow- that was the only word to use. Wow. Jane, evil Jane, had feelings. Or at least, remembered what they were like.

"You really don't like living forever, do you? You like power, you like pain. You like nearly everything but living."

"It's only fair. I think that if I turn good, someone might kill me." she looke happy, as if she would hug the grim reaper and offer him tea should he visit. Then her hyper sensitive eyes picked up on movement, like mine. "But for now, we must survive as we can. You can have first bite!" Jane jumped down, leaving a part of her soul and taking a sliver of my heart.

She didn't take enough for me to actually think she wasn't evil, but at least I understood the madness better.


	21. A History Of Dance Through The Ages

Nine

Weddings

But Ours...

DISCLAIMER: I don't own any characters, places, etc. in this story. Stephine Meyer does, along with the Canadian Government(I think). I just took where she left her story(ies) and ran with it.

Twenty-One: Esme,

Ghosts Of Babes Past And

A History Of Dance Through The Ages

Trying to be be quiet in a house full of vampires and sleeping shape shifters is like attempting to go into No Man's land at a stand still in battle. Impossible.

Before I'd even reached the fridge, the light flicked on, and even quicker, Esme was sitting at one of the three stools on the island counter top, hands on the counter looking eager to help. Too eager.

"Cravings?" She was like a little kid, guessing at secrets. "I remember those. Wanted Pepsi cola and chocolate dipped cherries." She smiled. "And I ate so much cheese that my husband threatened to buy a dairy farm."

"Well, it hasn't gotten that far," I said, laughing. I wanted meat. Rare meat. Stake at best, but anything would do. "Jake hasn't slaughtered a cow yet." I bent to get a frying pan from the floor cupboard, but Esme was there before I was and lightly shoved me towards her vacant seat.

"I can still cook, you do realize." She held up the frying pan- way too easily for a normal woman, that iron cooker was heavy even for me. "This frying pan has been in my family for eight generations. Well, ten now. And It's never once been washed." She turned on the element, globing butter into the bottom of the pan and waiting for it to foam before adding the steak. "How do you take it?" she asked, happy to play mother.

"Rare." I answered, glad to have her cooking. It made the night less lonely... that was coming from a vamun, which was just scary, everything considered. I should be a 'child of the night' by definition, and I usually was. It was recently that I had been scared to go out at night, mainly because I was afraid of my father. He had very strict rules on when and where Jake and I could meet now, which is only to be expected. I was also afraid for my baby- there were plenty of people who might want us all dead, starting with next generation mutants.

"Do you want eggs with it?" Esme asked, placing my steak on a blood red plate- say what you want, but we have a sense of humor about stuff too. "It tastes really good, as I recall."

"Sure." I said, reaching for the plate. Esme understood that if I had to eat, I had to eat. She'd been pregnant before... though her babies had been normal, but still.

"Do you like the kitchen?" Esme asked. She was gleeful. This was her element- hearth and home, babies and children. "I think that the shaker cooking elements really set it off, and Jasper managed to dig into storage to pull out some pre-civil war cooking utensils." The kitchen had been redone to both Esme and Jasper's tastes, pastel enough for mothering Esme, but angular and organized enough for the youngest major in Texas. Even the floor had been redone, and Alec was able to help with that- apparently he'd been a carpenter's apprentice, once upon a time. The electric and water supply were the only things he hadn't been trusted with, for obvious reasons.

"I love it, gran." I did. "I want a kitchen just like it." I really wanted it, and dropping that fact in Esme's ear was exactly what I needed to do to get it.

"Gran," Esme said, loosing her train of thought. "I never thought I'd be called that. And now, I'm to be a great grandmother!" She was nearly squealing with glee. "I never even dreamed that!"

"So you don't mind, you know." I said, hopeful.

"I don't mind you and Jake aren't married yet. You are to be, soon, and besides, you love each other. Where could you go wrong?" Esme brought over the eggs, sliding them onto my nearly empty plate. She really could cook, considering that she didn't eat.

"A lot of ways." I was very, very worried about parent hood. In fact, 'very' didn't begin to cover it.

"Raising young ones is very easy, if you let it go." Esme sat across from me, like a trusted adviser. She was, really. She'd helped in keeping me alive form infant to child, from teen to expecting mother/wife to be."You have to understand it's their life, and if they won't eat, they'll be hungry. Give them what you can, without hurting yourself."

"Esme, you can't have raised your children like that, I mean," I pointed at her with a fork. "Is that really what you live by?"

"Yes." she was smiling, though dead serious. "For me, I can give everything with out it hurting too much. For some, it is not the same. Think of all the homeless children, the starving ones, the sick- the-" She gulped. "Dying ones." She was about to cry, or was as close to tears as vampires can be. Sure enough, in a matter of moments she was gasping for breath through sobs, her eyes red, and her hands at her eyes.

"Are you okay?" I asked, putting a hand on her shoulder. She remembered I was there, and Esme sat up.

"Yes," She said, snuffling. "It hurts to think of him." I knew she meant her baby. The one she'd loved enough to kill herself for. She still loved him, after the dozen kids she'd raised/helped raised.

"I know it does." I truly was beginning to see that. I was a mommy now, basically, and the mere thought of anything happening to the cub was terrifying.

"He was small when I had him." Esme was smiling grimly at the memory. "Carlisle says that he was premature, too young to be born. He thinks his lungs weren't proper to begin with, and that's why he caught what ever it was that killed him so fast. But he was so tiny. He was he prettiest baby I've ever seen. Fair haired, blue eyed, and ever so pale. Ever so perfect." She paused, dwelling in the past. "The worst part of living forever, Nessie, is that I now know that he could have been saved. If I had had him, just tonight, just as he was, he would have lived. I wouldn't be here. I'd be off with a modern husband, living a modern life. I suppose I'm a relic of another time, a living history exhibit." She burst into tears again, and it was heart breaking.

"Gran," I said, attempting to comfort her. "If you didn't live forever, you wouldn't have Carlisle. You wouldn't have me."

"That is true." She said, wiping her eyes. "At least I have my angels. My new children. But it will never be the same. Oh, Carlisle I would be with over everything else, but a real baby, if anything, I would want that."

"I know." Ani said, startling us both. "I've been in your shoes, trust me." She was standing in the doorway, and seemed to have been there for the entire conversation. Ani came in , and sat down besides Esme. "I had a baby much like yours. Fair haired, pretty. Mine was a girl, though."

"Really? What happened to her?" Esme was hopeful, though she knew what had happened to the baby. Ani shrugged, depressed for once. Even her ringlets seemed to hang.

"What happens to all sickly children of the past? Most died, like ours. But, see, you and I are blessed, not cursed." Ani smiled timidly. "we have eternities of babies, whist other mothers have but a generation or two."

"Yes." Esme said, crying silently, as was Ani. "I suppose you're right."

I couldn't hold it anymore. I burst into tears.

"What is it, darling?" Esme said, putting her cold hand on my back.

"You two! You're heartbreaking! I mean, I can't even stand to think of loosing my baby, but you two have seen them die and you're still kicking!"

"There there," Ani said, sideways hugging me. "It's not as bad as it seems." We all cried together for a spell, and didn't even hear the garage door open and close, or Carlisle's footsteps coming though the door. He had had the late shift at the hospital.

I can only imagine what he thought, seeing his oldest friend, wife of over a century, and his half , pregnant granddaughter all crying together in a kitchen, let alone what he would say.

But Carlisle knew exactly what to do. As if choreographed, Esme rushed at him, and he pulled her into a hug.

"Don't cry, sweet." He said, attempting to comfort her. He was an expert in comforting Esme, after all this time, as he should be. "It's not as bleak as it may seem." That didn't work too well, and he started down the list of sweet nothings. That also failed, so Carlisle tried the go-to thing to get Esme to smile. The one promise there was no going back on, as long as Esme had a say in it. Carlisle sighed under his breath, thinking of the money it would cost him. "Do you want to buy another house? Renovate it and everything?" Esme's face lit up.

"Really?"

"Of course, dearest."

"I have just the one too!" She started pulling his hand towards the door, eager to start yet another of her projects. "It's from 1578, a real treat of a manor! Governor used to-" Her history of the beautiful house was cut short, as the couple were out the door and in the car in seconds, Esme eagerly driving and Carlisle looking crossed between being worried and very happy. Ani turned towards me as their car left.

"Still sad?" We both were, and she had the perfect cure. "Ice cream, and Kevin Bacon shaking his hips in Footloose." I laughed, and readily agreed.

We were sitting in front of the home theater screen in minutes with drinks, junk food and enough eighties movies to suffocate us.

"I really," I managed to spit out, taking a huge spoonful of Ben and Gerry's, "Should not be eating this for two."

"Oh, please," Ani waved her hand. "I slipped pre-natal care potions into everything you eat. You'll be fine.

"Huh." I didn't know whether to be worried or whether to thank her. But then I saw the dancing feet on Footloose's credits, and I was lost. God, I'm like my Daddy, obsessed with the beat.

As I have said before, trying to keep a family of vampires from overhearing laughter is very, very challenging. Emmett had soundproofed the room at Daddy's request- he had a hard time hearing his music over Emmett's blaring action films. But Jane's guest room was much closer to the theater then Daddy and Mum's, and her curiosity got the best of her. We were at the end, when everyone's dancing, when Jane came in and gasped.

"People are allowed to dance nowadays?" She seemed truly happy, as if it were a dream come true.

"Oh yes!" Ani turned in her seat, just as pleased. "I forgot to mention that! People dance all the time now, if you can call it dancing."

"You weren't allowed to dance?" I asked, shocked. A world without dancing was hard to imagine, even though I didn't love it like my aunts or father.

"Jane's a bit behind the times here," Ani explained. "When we were actual children, dancing was a sign of the devil."

"We still danced at esbats and other gatherings," Jane defended.

"But socially it just wasn't done." Ani finished, sighing. "Then in the seventeen hundreds it came into style, and partners grew closer and closer, touching more and more till this," Ani gestured towards the screen. "which is basically like stripping to our old pastor."

"Old Hannish would have a heart attack, if he saw this." Jane took a seat beside Ani, never taking her eyes off the screen. "Remember the time when Betsy Rose cast that spell on him, without anyone knowing?" Ani rolled her eyes.

"How could I forget? Took half the coven to figure out what in God's green earth the ani-charm was for it."

"She was off, that Betsy."

"Was her that started the burning in our village."

"Hannish burned me and Alec." burning was merely a sad incident to them now, and they talked like out biddies reminiscing- which, in a way they were. "Crazy himself, if you ask me."

"Jane," Ani chastised. "You did nearly kill his wife."

"She deserved it, calling my family a bunch of Quakers."

"In a way, you were, dear. We all were."

"Yes, but she didn't have to say it that way."

"Anyways," I called them back to modern times. "Bottom line is, you people couldn't dance?"

"We could before religion became the wide spread cult it's been for ages." Jane said. Clearly, she didn't like the pope.

"Jane, you know all religions are equal." Ani didn't mind the church. She wore a rosary, from time to time, mainly because of their power and because they'd been a gift from a sweetheart in some period of time.

"They may be, but some are stupid."

"I'm not saying you're wrong, but I can't agree." Ani countered.

Alec must have heard our conversation, because he was before us in minutes.

"What is this about Quakers and church?" He asked, transfixed by the rolling credits. Was everything new to these kids?

"Nothing. But oh, brother! People dance now!" Jane jumped up, the happiest I'd seen her since Jake was getting my father's impersonation of the Spanish inquisition. She rushed at Alec, grabbing at his hands and spinning him across the open floor between the screen and the seats.

"Really?" Alec was gleeful. "Last time I danced was-"

"When master was bored in seventy three!" they said together. I had the feeling that seventy three wasn't 1973, more like 1673, or maybe the seventy third year after Jane and Alec had joined the Volturi. It was along time ago, I knew that.

"We'll need to brush up on steps," Alec stated, as they launched into some complex dance with lifts and spins that even made me dizzy. "Times have changed."

"Oh, please!" Jane said, now standing beside her brother in a reel like position. "Compared to the country dances the stuff of the times is easy!" they called Ani up for a three partner dance, and she readily agreed. Then, midway through she gasped.

"You know who would remember these?" Ani cried out, excited. "Dear Carri!"

"You're right!" Alec agreed, and the dancing stopped. "We must go find him."

"I think I passed him in the library," Jane supplied, and off they went, Alec carrying Ani so that she would be able to keep up. I followed, eager to see this.

Carlisle was shocked at their request at first, but after Alec promised he could play a tune after e danced a partner reel he decided that trying the steps again would certainly bring back memories. With my help, we cleared a space in the floor of the library, and after I'd given them a beat they launched int the prettiest dance that I'd ever seen. Carlisle and Ani were partners, and Jane was paired with Alec. The couples danced across from each other, girl on the right. It wasn't jumpy, or loud, but low to the floor and calm- even though it looked very, very fun. The first eight beats they traveled forward and back, then side to side. After a very lively hand over from opposite girl to guy, the partners spun, gripping at each other's waists and ending up in the opposite place to where they had been at the start of the dance. Carlisle, Jane, Alec and Ani repeated this three times more, and the dance finished.

"One more! Please Carri!" Jane begged, using Ani's pet name for Carlisle.

"No. You promised I could play. But I'm sure if you teach Nessie, she'll dance."

"In that case, I'm best to sing, because I know no reels that have five dancers." Jane said. "Do you know a strathpey?" She asked, as she and Carlisle moved towards the closet in the room.

"What am I dancing?" I asked Ani. She just held out her hand, and I took it. Showing be in diagrams and pictures, she taught me the steps, and then she and Alec demonstrated. Finally, with Alec in between with me to the left and Ani to the right, and Jane and Carlisle prepared with a lute dug out from Carlisle's closet and some very dusty sheet music, we could begin.

"Ready?" Jane asked, thrilled. Seeing her, happy, smiling, made me forget for a second that she was evil- but I was beginning to think that Ani was right, the Volturi had taken away the sweet girl that Jane used to be, and had transformed her into a monster. We all nodded, and after sixteen beats to get the tempo, we started off.

First, Alec, with a hand on Ani and my waists, led us all forward three steps, then back two. Ani and I crossed behind his back, switching places, and ended up facing him. Taking a hand each, Alec spun us into our original spot, and then pulled me into a polka circling Ani, who was doing an odd step dance motion that somehow complemented everything brilliantly. We started from the beginning again, this time with Ani on the left. After our dance together Alec swung Ani into a polka, and the two laughed and giggled like children. Standing there, I was able to hear, and see the amazing chaos around me. Carlisle's playing was very good, considering that he hadn't played in ages, and Jane's voice was an angels, sweet and lively. But it was Ani and Alec that stole the show. They danced perfectly, like they'd done it for ages and eternity, always each other's partners. I remembered what Jane had said, about them being promised once upon a time, and I could see that clearly for the first time. I suspected that Alec had changed as much as he had for Ani, and maybe he wasn't so bad to begin with.

"Well," Daddy's voice chimed from the door. "Everyone's dancing without me?"

"I hate to tell you this, son," Carlisle called over our footsteps and Jane's singing, "But past nineteen eighteen you have no knowledge of dance what so ever."

"That's only because you claimed you couldn't dance, Carlisle." Daddy looked at Carlisle in a way that said 'you lied', and Carlisle smiled timidly back.

"What's this?" Jasper asked, coming in with Alice under his arm. "People dancing? I remember dances. The skirts those girls wore back then! Only three could dance at a time, depending on the size of the ball room." He looked to Daddy, expectantly. I knew he was thinking Daddy a question. "Well?"

"Have I ever thrown out an instrument?" Daddy asked, and left the room in a blur. He was back in an instant, a fiddle under his arm.

"Carlisle," Daddy said, not having to shout now that the dancing had stopped. "Play an A." Carlisle did, and Daddy tuned the violin. After about three minutes of careful tuning, Daddy could play.

"I've never played with a lute before," Daddy said, wondering. "You'll be able to follow along, this tune is very repetitive."

"Alice," Jasper said, offering a hand to his mate.

"Gladly." Alice said, and they moved onto the cleared space.

Daddy set the tempo, and after a curtsey and bow, Alice and Jasper began a lovely two step, quick in tempo and full of grace. It was straight out of the civil war, when there were still gallant gentlemen and girls with hoop skirts like Scarlet O'Hara. Though Alice came from the nineteen twenties, she only knew what everyone had taught her, and even though he was a military guy, Jasper could still enjoy dancing. The tune was interesting, and Carlisle was able to match Daddy note for note. It was lovely. When the first song was done, Ani dragged Carlisle onto the floor, and after declaring what exactly they were to dance, the two couples began a Southern Reel.

"Oh, please," Emmett said, coming in with Daddy's portable three thousand dollar keyboard swung under his arm and Rose strutting beside him in all her blond wonder. "You call that dancing?" He placed the keyboard on the coffee table, and told Daddy to play something from Rose and his time. The Southern Reel being done, Daddy agreed, and the room was filled with the music of the thirties and forties in moments. Rose and Emmett danced in quick turns, major lifts and amazingly complex movements with their feet. Alice and Jasper, along with Ani and Carlisle, all having lived the Forties too, were right beside them- no routine, no communication, just plain steps and a beat. Soon, Esme, Mum and the wolves came in too, and Ani left Carlisle to Esme, and swung Alec onto the floor. Daddy dashed to get his record player, putting on suiting music, and grabbed Mum, and Seth pulled a very surprised Jane onto the dance floor. The Quil and Embry were dancing together, having the time of their lives and laughing like mad men, and Leah and Billy were pulling wheelies.

Somehow, in all this madness, Jake managed to find me, and pulled me close.

"If this is just for fun," he whispered. "Think of our after party." I laughed, and we joined the bedlam of a library, me showing Jake the steps and everyone having a blast.


	22. Greenhouses and Guests

Nine

Weddings

But Ours...

DISCLAIMER: I don't own any characters, places, etc. in this story. Stephine Meyer does, along with the Canadian Government(I think). I just took where she left her story(ies) and ran with it.

Twenty-Two: Flowers,

Greenhouses And How To receive

Guests That Make Ceaser Look Young

Dancing was fun, yes, but after we managed to play through the eras Daddy got an idea. Ever since me and Jake had gotten back from Niagra, he'd been searching for some way of revenge, shy of killing Jake.

"Jake," he started, as the human-esc of our numbers caught their breath. Alec sweetly got Ani drink, and Seth looked at Jane expectantly- she just stared back like he'd told a good joke. "I think I've found the perfect way to torture you without killing you."

"Hide me!" Jake shuffled me in front of him.

"What makes you think I want to face him! I hissed over my shoulder, playing the low ball and putting a hand to the slight baby bump. "And in my condition."

"You're right." Jake stepped around me carefully, and faced my father like a man faces his exacutioner. "What is it?"

"You'll have to come with me," Daddy said, moving to the door.

"You know, killing him without me knowing still counts as killing him!" I said, as they left.

"Trust me," Daddy swung his head through the door. "Staying up with that baby will be worse then killing him."

"He is right," Ani offered. "Babies are evil that way."

"But they're so cute!" Rose and Esme said at the same time.

"Anyways, Nessie, I need you to come with me." Ani grabbed my hand, and pulled me to the door too.

"Why?"

"Wedding stuff. Flowers, you know." Once in the hall, she pulled a witch move and sent us to Ani's greenhouse.

Ani's greenhouse had been created her, drawn from her mind. It was just like the one she'd had as a young Victorian girl, and she'd never forgot it. Amongst the roses and ivy and primroses, there was rosemary, sage and thyme, and the unique herbs of the orient. It took a master gardener, let alone witch, to keep all these plants living together in harmony. The greenhouse was about thrirty feet long, and ten feet across, hidden a wee bit into the woods behind our house. Outside, vines clung to the roof, letting enough light in to nurture the plants, and roses curled around the roof beams. Fruit trees lined the walls, with taller plants at their feet. Then, in neat garden boxes on stands, smaller plants of every shape, size and colour were nestled in their earthy beds.

It was a garden that every princess would dream of, and an florist would covet.

"You like it, then?" Ani said with a giggle, sensing my thoughts on her greenhouse.

"I adore-" I didn't get to finish. Cub decided to shut me up with a sharp kick in my ribs, and then stretching out. Carlisle said it was odd that the baby moved as much as it did, mainly because I was barely showing.

"Oh! Is that baby hurting you again?" Ani said, looking concerned.

"Not much," I muttered, standing and steadying myself against the nearby trunk of an apple tree.

"Here," Ani plucked a pomagranite from a tree, and tossed it to me. "The romans ate a pomaganite when the baby gave them trouble."

"Why?" I said, after she'd handed me a knife she somehow had. I began cutting into the pink flesh.

"It was the last food Phersephone ate before becoming Hades' bride. Thought to protect the mother and child from meeting death too soon. But never say her name when knocked up- bad luck."

"So I can't say Persephone?" I asked in wonder.

My eyes nearly rolled back in pain. It was as if someone had punched me in the stomach.

"Told you so." Ani said, matter of factly. "Call her the black maiden."

"I'll remember that." I spat. God that had hurt.

"Come on," Ani turned, walking down one of the narrow side paths. "I have some things to give you, and I need your opinion on wedding stuff."

"Do I have to give it?"

"Esme booked your wedding for Shamain- be glad I ask your opinion."

"Shamain?"

"Yes. Celtic festival of fall/death. There isn't a god called Shamain, though. Mainly, Dadga was honoured as he passed through the veil."

"What?"

"You would know it by the roman name, All Hallow's Eve." Ani explained, and stopped walking. "Now," Ani pointed to a selection of flowers. "Do you like the liloc?"

"Yes. But it's a spring flower. How-"

"did I grow it?" Ani rolled her eyes. "Honestly, Nessie, think. What about queen anne's lace? Roses? Orange blossoms?"'

"They're pretty."

"and the baby's breath is for filling, as is the ivy and blue bells."

"What are these for?" I asked, fingering a few green sprouts.

"Those are for you right now." Ani picked up a white handled knife with a curved blade. Quickly she cut a stem from each of the plants. "Hold out your hand," She said, and when I did placed each stem in my hand, telling me the names. "Lemon balm, sage, lavender and rosemary. Follow me."

Ani turned, and exited through the door at the back of the greenhouse. I followed her outside, and down path that I had never seen before.

The path ended at a small cottage, with roses and flower pots. It had an old thatched roof, and was made of field stones. I had never seen it before in my life.

"Where did this come from?" I asked.

"Me and my mind. I've lived in this same cottage ever since I was nearly burned- or at least in between lives."

"It's very pretty." I said, as Ani picked up a wooden yolk and hooked two pails full of rain water onto it. She shouldered it as if it were nothing, with the grace of years of practice.

"thank you, come in, won't you?" we walked through the worn wooden door and I found myself in a beautiful kitchen area. Across from it was a small bed against one wall, a few chairs and a love seat, along with timeless furnishings. The kitchen had a table, a modern fridge, microwave and sink, but the cupboards, counter and stove were all as old as Ani- if not older.

"Sit, sit!" Ani cried out, a perfect hostess. She took the herbs from me and busied herself in the ancient kitchen. "Would you like some tea?"

"Yes, I suppose."

"You hadn't the choice, anyway. The herbs are for the tea." Ani opened the door on the stove, putting logs in the fire and kindling it to a bright blaze. Then, she dashed to get a silvery pot from a cupboard, and after carefully filling it with water from one of the pails, she put it on one of the burners. Next, after going to a worn sea chest, Ani retrieved a golden mortar and pestle, and placed them on the table. She grabbed a bowl of sweets of an end table as she passed, and sat across from me.

"Fudge?" Ani asked, offering me a piece. "Made it myself."

"You're a homebody." I mentioned, accepting a piece. It was maple, with brown sugar and had a sweet berry-like tang to it. Delicious. "Which reminds me- where did this cottage come from even?"

"I make it when ever I need it. Same as the greenhouse. I suppose I should have asked Esme, but it slipped my mind. I will, later on today." She began pulling the leaves off the stems of the herbs, adding them to the mortar, along with cinnamon, sugar, salt and a wee bit of water. Then, she took the same white handled knife as before, and began to cut the stems into small, inch long pieces. She set them aside.

"So, what exactly are you doing?"

"Oh! The stems will got to a tincture, and the leaves go to make your tea." Ani began grounding the leaves int a powder, her hands knew the task so well that she barely had to look at her work.

"A tincture?"

"Yes. Like a potion. I'll brew the stems in vodka or another strong alcohol for a month, or in this case, two weeks. Then, you'll take two drops under the tongue whenever the babies hurt you."

"Oh." I said, and then realized what Ani had said. "Babies! As in, plural?

"Yes. You didn't know that?" The leaves were a fine powder now, and Ani scooped them into a worn cotton bag, tying the strings tightly. "I'm sure I told you." She stood, and added the bag to the now boiling water, stirring three times clockwise, and then appeared to say a prayer over the pot.

"No, no you didn't."

"Well then. You'll have three."

"Three? Three!"

"Yes. Boy, girl, girl." Ani said, matter of factly.

"And how do you know that?"

"They told me." that had me for a second.

"Sorry," I said, shaking my head. "But what?"

"Their souls are already there. Your father can't hear their minds yet, and neither can I. But Jasper and I can kinda get a sense of them. When I go into trance, I can meet them. Jane and Alec probably can too."

Somehow the idea that Jane could be babysitting my kid-kids- on some higher plain of existence was not comforting. Ani, Alec maybe, I could stand, same with Jasper. But Jane... she was more normal, but not completely sane yet.

"But- how?" I asked, as Ani poured the boiled tea into a tea cup, and set it on a silver tray with sugar, honey, cream and milk.

"Simple. I just close my eyes, breath till in trance, and seek them out."

"Oh yes, simple for you." She served the tea, and sat again beside me.

"If you want to meet them, I can help with that. One sugar or two?"

"Two." this was odd- tea and meditation...

"Milk or cream?"

"Milk." in her own cup, Ani added sugar and cream, and sipped eagerly. "I thought it was for expectant mothers."

"Yes, but it works the opposite fore females who aren't breeding- like a natural birth control, you know?"

"I suppose. Back to meeting my unborn children. How?" Ani sighed.

"You'd need to be very calm, and be able to sit quiet for a long, long time. Then, when prepared, close your eyes and picture a journey. For everyone, this journey's different, but the bottom line is that you have to have the intention to meet your children. Do not be surprised if they don't seem to be as you expected- but we'll get into that later. They'll talk to you, I'm sure, but before you fall into darkness you have to get back to your normal state."

"Why?"

"Remember Alec's floating head? And Jane having to feed him a worm?"

"Yes."

"They didn't have enough power. If you aren't trained like me, you could black out, and it takes hours to days to get back to normal after that. The soul has to find it's way back without the body's signals, and that gets tricky."

"What?"

"Good grief!" Ani said, fetching biscits from a shelf. "All you say is 'why' and what!"

"Well, you talk about things that make no sense."

"Not my fault."

Ani and I sat and talked for a good half hour. Ani began to make short bread, and began to talk about how everything for the wedding was planned to be perfect. It was in five days- which, needless to say, terrified me. But I knew Ani was honest, she said that everything was under controll, and everything would be perfect.

It was only when Ani took her shortbread from her old oven that Mum burst through the door, a panicked look on her face.

"We have to go pick up Charlie!"

"What?" I said, jumping to my feet. Nothing had been prepared for grandpa, everyone had forgotten he was coming, it seemed,

"Who's Charlie?" Ani asked, setting her shortbread on the counter and breaking it into pieces.

"Never mind that. The bottom line is that he's coming, and we have to brief him on the entire situation!" she stormed out the door, and after a glance between us, Ani and I followed. I carted the delicious fudge, and Ani in her oven mits brought along the shortbread.

The house was in panic when we got there.

"Thank god you're here!" Carlisle bolted to Ani when she was in sight. "You have to glamour him- do something!"

"Will it harm him?"

"No, protect him."

"Well, to avoid it being black magic- trust me, we should avoid that at all costs- it'll be tricky."

"What do you need?"

"Alec, Jane, three white candles, a tree trunk and a heck of a lot of salt. And some of my herbs."

"Like?"

"In a pinch, grass, rosemary, and sage and virvian. Jane!" Ani screamed out her name, and Jane came hustling over.

"Get the herbs, please."

"Yes."

"Alec!" he rushed over.

"Find a tree stump." He began to rush off, but she stopped him. "Without one, please." He went off. "the last thing we need is an angry dryad." she added under her breath, and Emmett gave her a look, that said 'what's that?'. Ani raised a hand. "Don't ask."

"I don't have a guest room! What to do! What to do!" Esme was pacing, back and forth, back and forth. Billy was sorting through RSVPs, the wolves were looking tense, and Alice was frantically searching the future. Rosie was biting her lip, twiddling her thumbs, and Jasper and Daddy had gone to get Charlie from the airport.

Carlisle turned to Ani. "Guest room?"

"Sure." Ani shrugged, closed her eyes, and nodded. She opened her eyes. "Esme, I've added on you your west side- enough rooms for twenty, but basically hidden from the front view of the house."

"Oh, thank you!" Esme rushed over and hugged Ani, and kissed her on the forehead. Ani had become everyone's favourite little witch, and Esme was already mothering her like crazy.

Jane came back in the room then, followed by Alec. She had a basket of herbs, and the salt, with a few candles and insense.

"Found a tree?"

"Yep."

"Great. Toodles!" Ani, Alec and Jane rushed out of the room, Ani panicked, Alec Panicked that Ani was panicked, and Jane slightly worried that Alec was panicked about Ani being panicked.

"Thank god for witches!" Carlisle collapsed into his armchair, and I got myself over to where Jake was sitting on the loveseat.

"Everyone's coming," Billy confirmed. "That's the Irish, the Romanians, the Egyptians, the nomads that heard word, the Denali, everyone. And a few unwelcome visitors."

"We can't avoid Aro, and Caius would have our heads if we bailed now. Hates an insult, that man." Carlisle said, knowingly.

"Why are they like they are?" I asked, genuinely interested. Carlisle shook his head in wonder.

"I truly can't say. Aro was nearly normal, when I knew him. Marcus was as he is today, heartbroken. Caius has gotten meaner every decade, but I think they're all getting nuttier and nuttier. Aro's close to cracking."

"Can a vampire crack?"

"Last time I saw him, which was but four years ago- let me tell you, that was an unpleasant stay-" he was referring to his peace visit a few years ago, just to make sure terms were still good. "Aro was totally out of touch. He was crazy, babbling on about things that make no sense. And Caius spent the entire time trying to kill me- thank god he failed."

"What about Marcus?"

"He grows to hate it all even more. He likes power, sure. But being a tyrant was never part of his plan, that was Aro and Caius. Aro's the brain, Caius is the fury, and Marcus is the only trace of reason these days. And the wives, bless them, have to put up with it."

"Married life isn't good?" Jake said, jokingly.

"Married life is terrible for them. Imagine, having a husband that, though loves you, would kill you in an instant, should it mean more power. Think of it."

"Aro wouldn't kill Sulpicia." I Esme said, trying to be kind. We all looked doubtful. "Would he?"

Carlisle shook his head. "When I visited, which wasn't long ago, she told me that she suspected that Aro had killed Marcus' wife- she couldn't be sure, but she has many gifts to support the therory."

"Killing someone elses wife, that's not as bad." Esme offered.

"She was his younger sister as well."

"Oh." Esme had no comeback.

"How does he expect to maintain power if he's nutty?" Alice asked.

"Fear. But he knows nothing lasts. Hence, he'll do everything he can to kill us, his upposers."

" No one's mananged to kill him yet." Quil said, mournfully.

"No, but there's the Romanians, who've been trying for the better part of three thousand years. And they have allies within the Volturi, trust me."

Ani, Alec and Jane rushed back in.

"Is it done?" Carlisle asked, and Ani nodded.

"Grass to forget, rosemary for blessing, and vervian for sleep."

"He'll simply forget to think of Nessie being his relative by blood, or the species of guests." Jane said, happily. "Only to be activated when Ani commands it to be, so he'll know us when he arrives."

"Fabulous." Carlisle relaxed again.

Charlie arrived with Daddy and Jasper about fifteen minutes later, and they carried the suitcases. Now we all sat on the couches across from Jane and Alec.

"I tell you what I tell you only so that you can receive my masters properly."

"And because otherwise you're all going to die." Alec offered. "And I, personally, don't want that." Jane elbowed her brother. Clearly, Alec liked us, and Jane tried to hide that she did.

"They are old. Forgive any errors of time, but help them become normal. We would hate a scene."

"They bring gifts for the bride and bridegroom, which are of great value and are ancient."

"Keep them safe, and they will be worth much later on."

"Regardless, be hospitable."

"as you say, bury the hatchet."

"Try to be kind."

"And above all,"

"DON'T INSULT PICIA!" they chanted together, to get the point across.

"She has great power."

"Great."

"Don't make Caius mad,"

"He will kill you."

"Try not to talk to Marcus,"

"He likes in silence."

"And Aro-" Jane and Alec looked at eachother.

"Well," Alec said, " Try to keep him from being insane."

"I have a question," Charlie said, and all eyes turned to him. "Who are you, and who are the Volturi?"

"Dad," Mum said, touching his arm. "Need to know..."

"Right." Charlie understood. "Now, the little blonde one says I won't remember why I know you."

"Yes. You'll think us all distant friends, family."

"Fine by me. As long as I get to be at the wedding. Will I remember it after?"

"Yes, unless you cross the path of someone else there. Then you'll forget again."

"Perfect." A silence fell. Then, Alice's eyes shot open.

"Damn it! Everyone, to the field in the backyard! Now!" Everyone jumped up, and Esme told Charlie to stay here and make himself at home with Billy. We all ran as fast as we could, Ani hitching a ride in Alec's arms (much to his sister's displeasure).Jasper managed to ask Alice the vital question.

"Why are we running?"

"Because they're early."

We reached the field in time to see the horizon of about ten black hooded figures emurge from the evergreens.

"Well, strike them off the guest list." Jane whispered in my ear, and I fought back laughter.

This was going to be interesting...


	23. Bull Dozing Ancient Castles

Nine

Weddings

But Ours...

DISCLAIMER: I don't own any characters, places, etc. in this story. Stephine Meyer does, along with the Canadian Government(I think). I just took where she left her story(ies) and ran with it.

Twenty-Three: Power Struggles,

And Three Thousand Year Old Castle

Meets Twenty First Century Bull Dozer

The dark  figures looming out of the horizon were probably suppost to be terrifying- to me, they were laughable. So theatric, and meant to scare. But Aro, or whoever was in charge, forgot about the wolves, and they were out numbered.

Spoke to soon, I thought, as about a dozen other hooded figures stepped from the horizon.

Carlisle, after prying Esme off his arm with help from Jasper, stepped forward.

"Aro," He said, perfectly at ease. "How good to see you."

"We were going to come to the house, but it was kind of you to meet us here." Aro said, perfectly friendly. He reminded me of a polotitian, a man who was charming everyone he couldn't kill, but then when he got power would crush everyone.

"Yes, my daughter saw you approach, and told us." Aro would know it was Alice. Peering around Carlisle, Aro spotted Jane and Alec.

"Darlings," He said, looking at them sweetly. "Won't you come greet us?" I wasn't sure if he meant 'us' as royalty, or 'us' as in him, the wives, Caius and Marcus. Jane and Alec moved forward slowly, and Alec seemed to be tempted to drag Ani along. When within arm's reach, Jane slid under his left arm, and Alec took the right. It was like a very disturbing family portrait.

"and who is the human friend?" Caius asked, looking for a fight. I couldn't be sure, but it seemed that one of the wives rolled her eyes, like, 'here we go again'. "You wouldn't have brought us a snack?"

"Now, Caius," Carlisle said strongly, "She's not as she seems."

"Well, that would have to be the case, to bring her along."

"Mayhap I should speak for myself, Carlisle?" Ani said, which got glances from everyone. Ani, fearless as ever, walked right up till she was inches from Caius, and put out her hand.

"Hi," She said,perfectly friendly. "I'm Anilise, but you can call me Ani." Caius, for the first time in recorded history, looked shocked. Aro was staring at Ani like she was performing an enormous taboo, and Marcus looked slightly amused. After a beat, Caius took Ani's hand, silently.

"Oh, don't worry," Ani said, remarking on his lack of speech. "You need not introduce yourself, your reputation quite perseeds you."

"And I should hope the reputation suits me." Caius countered. Ani nodded thoughtfully.

"Yes, yes I think it does. Quite well."

"Well, isn't that interesting!" Aro said, and again became the center of attention. He ghosted over to Ani, leaving Jane and Alec standing rejected in the snow. Aro shook Ani's hand gleefully. "You're quite brave, little one."

"I have my reasons for being so."

"That you may. Pray tell, what are they?"

"Nothing much."

"Nothing much is still much, dear." Aro was insisting. "Should you have a tallent, you might be best to try it on one of our numbers. I do so love an entertaining human."

"Yes. As I enjoy an interesting challenge." Ani as totally secure, and was not going to back down. Ani pointed to one of the wives. "Her. She's an appropriate challenge."

"Picica? My Picia?" So that was Sulpicia. Huh. She was no more then fifteen, but was beautiful and fair. The red eyes were her only blemish. "I think she might me too much of a challenge."

"No, no, dear," Picia stepped forward, eager for blood- no pun intended. "She'll be interesting to beat."

"I doubt that." Ani said, and they began circling each other. The grounds cleared, and Alec and Jane looked as worried as Carlisle. Aro had this amusing look on his face, Caius was absolutely joyous, and Marcus looked- well, Marcus looked bored.

"You dare to challenge me, little girl?" Picia's voice began taking on a slight Italian accent, which told me were she was from. "I could rip you limb from limb!"

"Yet you haven't moved." Ani added, challenging.

"Maybe I plan on making you suffer slowly."

"Maybe I intend the same on you, Sulpicia." Then, straightening up a bit, Ani added, "Your Dea warned me of you. Said you'd gone crazy in the head. Didn't believe it, but now I do."

"You knew Dea?" in her moment of distraction, Ani pounced on her, a grow escaping her. Ani had shifted- the one talent she hadn't shown us yet. Her ears were pointed, and a tail curled from her backside. Her hands had grown claws for nails, and her eyes were like a cats. She was part Cheeta.

"Yes. I knew Isadea." Ani muttered, raking the claws across Picia's face without breaking the skin. "Broke her heart, when you left. Nearly killed her." Picia rolled Ani onto her back, vicious.

"What to you know of Dea, little Anilise? Have only lived a decade, at most." Ani's limbs were all pinned, so Ani muttered.

"I'm older then you think, dear queenie." she fired a bright red zap at Picia's middle, and Picia flew backwards into a tree.

Ani jumped to her feet, and in an instant Picia was there before her.

"You are strong, little cat. But not strong enough."

"Try me." Picia smiled, and Ani laughed. Picia's smile fell then, seeing she had been foiled.

"You may be able to mimic everyone else, Picia. But you can't mimic a witch."

"I can kill you with force." Picia tackled Ani, and Ani began to laugh histerically.

"Do you mean to tell me, that you think me weak? Me? Weak?" Ani blasted Picia from her, sending her flying to Aro, who luckily caught her.

"Well, dear." Aro said, helping Picia to her feet. " I think you've met your match."

"She is not human." Picia intoned, as if that would excuse her.

"What are you then, little Ani?" Aro asked. Everyone else seemed to shocked to speak. The other wife, I guessed it was Athenodora, rushed over to Picia to comfort.

"I'm perfectly human, sweet." Ani said, perfectly normal. "I'm a witch."

"What?" Caius said, after a moment of silence. "You mean to tell me you're a witch?"

"Well, yeah. But that we can talk of later. But the bottom line is, Caius, that you can't kill anyone here for keeping a human around. I've been alive for as long as Jane and Alec, so really, calling me human isn't entirely accurate.

"Why don't we go into the house?" Carlisle said, basically begging.

"Yes," Aro said, friendly, as if nothing had happened. "Why not?"

It was amusing, watching twenty vampires come into our house as if it was a play pen. Jane and Alec stood near Ani, glanced at Aro protectively. Carlisle and Aro talked for a good while, Caius and Marcus looked in turn angry and bored, and the wives fell into conversation. Beside Aro sat four guards, and beside Carlisle sat Daddy, Emmett, Jasper and Ani. Ani looked far too small for this, but everyone now knew not to mess with her.

Some where in the conversation, a cell phone rang.

"Oh, do forgive me." Aro said, reaching into a pocket. "They know not to phone me, but some times they must." Seeing Aro- evil, crazy Aro, with a cell phone just about made me laugh. I showed Jake a picture of Aro on the computer, ordering the black cloaks in, and he struggled to keep the laughter in.

"How do you answer again?" Aro asked, turning the phone to Picia. Picia pushed the talk button. "Thank you. Yes?" Aro's face turned to one of disbelief. "What do you mean, bull dozer? ...Well, what's a bull dozer... Oh, like a catapolt... Well, do something! Henry! Henry!" Aro shook his head, and closed the phone. "Those bloody Romanians."

"What happened?" Picia asked, clearly knowing the name.

"Nothing, nothing much. You'd think they'd stop, after a few centuries. Or at least take a break."

"Did they invade?" Caius asked, clearly concerned.

"No. But modern tecnology has totally destroyed the right side of out home. What exactly is a bull dozer?" Aro asked, confused. God, he was out of the times. "Never mind, everyone but Jane, Heidi Alec, the entertainers and the family needs to go home, and someone explain to be what a home depot is. Henry was shrieking about electritions and pulmbers and stone cutters. Half of it went over my head."

"So, let me get this straight," Emmett said. He couldn't resist this, and was stuck between laughter and being serious. "The Romanians, Stephan and Valdimur, drove a bull dozer into that castle of yours?

"It would appear so." Marcus said, and for a brief moment looked shocked.

"What possessed them to do that?

"Too complex to get into now. Lets just say, they can hold a grudge well." Athenodora intoned, and the topic was dropped.

Later that night we got our other guests. Everyone greeted Carlisle warmly, and everyone made themselves at home. The entire house was scattered with vampires, as well as the front and back yards. It was only at eight that there was a minor situation.

After a sharp knock on the door, Carlisle answered. "Well, this is a surprise. Did you have fun tearing down a castle?"

"Oh yes."

"It was rather amusing." Carlisle walked into the living room with the Romanians, one dark haired and one light- both looked gleeful.

"So, you've come anyway?" Aro said, friendly as he could be, "Honestly, when will you stop with all this?"

"We won't." Stephan intoned.

"Did you have fun, tearing down my castle? Do you realize how old it is?"

"yes. We do. And we damaged your art section as well as we could." Valdimur offered.

"Well, it's lucky that I brought some of my talents along." Aro pointed to the collection of vampires, who still had their hoods up.

"Not many." Stefan said.

"No, but enough."

"It's not fair to use modern tecnology. You know I don't keep with the times very well."

"That is percisely why we used a bull dozer."

"You wouldn't expect it." Valdimir finished.

"Please, I would perfer there be no fighting under my roof." Carlisle begged.

If there is one thing that ancients can respect, it's a host. The fighting generally stopped, though Amun and Benjamin were still angry at each other slightly. Something had happened between the two last time everyone had to get along, and it hadn't patched up over the years since.

If there was any one group I liked the best, it was the Irish. Maggie was a sweetheart, but honest as ever. She and I talked and talked about everything, and I could vent all the stuff about the wedding to her. Really, she knew if I was lying about stuff, so there was no point in even trying. Liam was quiet, but quite kind when you spoke to him. He was sweet, but again, honest. He and Jake talked for a spell, just because everyone else was either trying to pick a fight or patching up past fights. Ani and Siobhon talked and talked, mainly because Ani was interested in the 'luckiness' of Siobhon. I think that Siobhon was finally beginning to realize that it was a gift, not just a fluke.

The biggest hit in the family overall was Garret, the very passionate used to be revolutionary who had decided vegitarianism wasn't that hard. He and Kate were an official couple now, and Garret sported lovely topaz eyes. Carlisle was happy to see another vampire go vegan, and Aro's eyebrows had raised when Garret didn't want any donor blood. Charlotte, Peter, Jasper and him talked for ages, all coming from the south and all having lived through a war or two. The southern accents got more and more pronounced, and by the end of thirty minutes I couldn't have understood them if I tried.

The most shocking show up was in Alistair. Carlisle was shocked, but welcoming, and Alisair was still sulking in a corner. The Amazons were another of my favourites. Me and Zafrina had a kinship, and ended up talking away thought wise for hours. Alice and Rose had dragged most of the girl vamps upstairs to find a modern dress, and Athenodora and Sulpicia had reluctantly come along. The really hysterically funny problem started a few minutes later

"Edward," Aro started, and Daddy stopped playing. "It occurs to me, that most gathered here are not familiar with current society. How exactly are we going to all act normal?" It was a challenge. Aro and Caius waited eagerly to see how the Cullens would handle their next move. The ball was in our court.

"Simply." Ani chimed in, coming to stand in front of Aro bravely. Aro's eyebrows lifted in curiousity. Well, he wouldn't kill Ani just yet. "Everyone goes to the garage, and we'll take turnes humanizing you."

"By what means?"

"Much music."

So, now about a hundred vampires- a few new coming nomads who were curious- were crowded into the giant garage Ani had added on to the house, as my father tried to explain the twentieth century and Emmett and Jasper hooked up a few dozen TVs.

"The bottom line is, you're all going to have to brush up on your knowledge of the times." Daddy began tossing out books. "These are all the modern hit list books. Read them, and attempt to understand things."

"This will take us a millisecond to read," Garret pointed out.

"Yes. I'm kind of counting on that. We'll do our best to keep you occupied. On questions, Ani and my daughter can show you things, if need be."

"Ed, the TV's are all set up." Emmett offered, searching for sports. Esme, Alice and Jasper were all setting the dozen TVs to different stations- DIY, TLC, Much, Fox news station and more.

"Fabulous. If you get bored of reading, there's TVs set up to show you more things. Much is good for music an pop culture, so teenage vampires should watch that the most. Mother like vamps should be watching TLC and Diva, but that can change. For guys, try to watch the sports, but if you can't manage that fox news is fine. Everyone needs to be up to date on current events, and avoid talking history- you might have lived it, but they have their textbooks, and believe the books are right."

"Everyone set?" Ani asked, and most nodded. "Great. If you have managed to keep with the times, and need something to do, the theater room is always open- but it's just a giant TV, so don't expect actual players." Aro looked positively depressed at that. Poor art obsessed lunatic.


	24. Prep For The Big Day

Nine

Weddings

But Ours...

DISCLAIMER: I don't own any characters, places, etc. in this story. Stephine Meyer does, along with the Canadian Government(I think). I just took where she left her story(ies) and ran with it.

Twenty-Four: Prep For The Big Day,

And The Adventures Of Modernizing

Really, Really, Out Of Touch Vampires

The days before the wedding passed in a blur. Most notibly was when Carlisle showed Aro Chippy, who had been kept in his fish tank ever since our guest arrived.

"Amazing," Aro had said, tapping on the glass. "Simply intriuging."

"Yes. You won't kill him, will you? He's barely had an upset since being turned over two months ago."

"Well, I think I might be forced to kill him eventually, but at present he's rather amusing." Aro looked at Carlisle, tearing his eyes from Chippy's little beady ones. "what does he eat?"

"Donor blood, mostly. But he has a taste for blue jays as well. And there's something even more amusing about him."

"More amusing then a blood sucking chipmunk?" Aro was really surprised.

"Just watch." Carlisle took the top of of Chippy's fish tank, scooping Chippy up. "Now Chippy, fly!"

"By my stars!" Aro said, as Chippy flew towards him. Aro ducked as Chippy zoomed by, making a noise like a bomb as he passed. "He flies!"

"Yes."

"Well... Well... It flies!" he said this to Caius and Marcus. Caius was amazed, and Marcus was bored.

"Yes, I'm quite aware of that." Marcus said. "Do you plan on keeping him, Aro? Or are you just going to kill him?"

"I have no idea. I have never seen anything like that! Imagine, a flying chipmunk! And you say you turned it?" He turned to me.

"Yeah. Go figure. Can't turn a human, but can turn a chipmunk."

"It is an oddity." I pointed to my chest.

"Mutant- remember? Tried to kill me for it?"

"Oh, I do hope you've forgiven that. Was such a small matter." Yeah- killing me- small matter. What planet are you from? Oh, yeah, I forgot- you've been crazy power hungry for a few milenia. It was safe to think such things, Mum was protecting us all, and was sitting quietly in the attic, shielding the heck out of everything.

Chippy ended up becoming Aro's favorite source of amusement, shy of TV musicals. Daddy could hardly keep up with him- he'd demand Greese and Footloose and Flashdance, and would watch them like a little kid. He even watched the Disney Princess shows, amazed at the animation and music- in particular Sleeping Beauty's lovely 'opera voice'. Sulpicia and Athenodora were getting the latest fashions with Rosie and Alice, and Caius plotted how to kill us all, or at least it seemed like it. Marcus and Ani talked for a great while, about which I can't tell you, and Esme and Carlisle had their hands full being hosts. All my other blood- pun not intended- relatives were trying to modernize vampires, which took a lot of work. It took six hours to get it across that people texted, and didn't write letters anymore, and that iPods didn't have tiny musicians in them. I'm serious about that. They truly thought that. Then, one time a nomad was fiddling with a cell phone, and it started vibrating because Emmett had called it. Anyways, the nomad thought it was attacking him, and stomped it to pieces.

Some how, we'd all managed to survive, and it was the night before the wedding. All the vampires were modernized and had gone out hunting. Some of the guy vamps closer to the family had gone off with Emmett and the wolves, along with Billy, and Alec, to have the stag party. Thank god Daddy and Leah were going too, and I had them under strict orders to keep the groom as sober as possible.

Ani, Rose, Alice, Mum, Esme and surprisingly, Jane (what the hell) had all watched movies with me, fed me popcorn till I though I'd burst, and then had shipped me off to bed when I was tired. They all had secret wedding things to do at the venue, and had sped away in freaking moving vans. Jasper had carted his kitchen supplies to the venue too, and was baking up a storm somewhere. So, for the first time in months, the house was empty but for me.

It started out fine. I slept until I got one of those crazy cravings, and stumbled out of bed. My pregnancy was pretty good so far, but these craving had me going crazy. I got down the stairs to the kitchen, and was walking down the hall with glass of milk when the light flicked on.

"What the!" I screamed, and spilled my milk.

"Should I say I'm sorry?" Marcus asked, looking rather concerned.

"Yeah." I shook the milk from my house coat. "You should." He didn't.

"I stayed behind from the hunt." He leaned against the wall. "I rarely need any blood anymore."

"That's not what I hear. I've heard you people murder tourists by the dozen."

"I don't. Barely touch them. It's Aro, Picia and Caius that eat the most, and then the guards. I think they enjoy killing- the power behind it."

"And you don't?"

"I'm not all crazy, young Nessie." Marcus was... odd. There is no other way of putting it. Odd, with a capital O. O-D-D. Here he was, in my hall way, talking as if the world was nothing. "Now, Aro is crazy. As is Caius."

"So?"

"So..."

"So why do you hang around them? If you know their crazy?"

"Oh. I suppose it's because of Chelsea. But in reality, I could care less where I am. I get dragged here and there- my boredom is amusing to Aro."

"So what do you want to do? Surely it wasn't always bad." I should have been afraid of him. He could snap me like a twig. But, seriously, I didn't know if I was dreaming or not. This was really weird.

"No. When Dydmine was alive, it wasn't as boring."

"So, I guess you loved her then?"

"I guess I did." he said, nearly cracking a smile. Ah, so he was venting. This was a bit more logical. "A bit of advice- follow your Jake like a vulture. Trust me."

"Why?"

"I let mine out of my sight for exactly two days, three hours, twenty seven minutes and three seconds, and looked what happened."

"Can I ask a question?"

"Does it matter?" Marcus- the world's first depressed heartbroken emo. Who would have known?"

"If you don't like them, why don't you kill them?"

"Nessie, I can only say that that has crossed my mind more them once- as it has a few others as well."

"What?"

"To tell you any more would put you in danger, and then also Jake in danger as well. So I won't breath a word more. Would you like more of what ever it was you were carrying?" Marcus said.

"Um. Yeah." I said after thinking. He offered me is arm, and because I was positive I was dreaming now, I took it.

Marcus had gotten me milk, which needless to say really freaked me out, and after I explained that I was pregnant, he was silent. I suppose he was trying to figure out whether or not he should tell Aro. Anyways, here I was now in bed, still trying to figure out if I was dreaming or not.

I must have fallen asleep, because the next thing I knew, Ani had a flashlight pointed into my eyes, and Jane and Alec loomed over her shoulder.

"Get up," She said, and I did. She started out the window, "Come on!" again, not sure if I was dreaming or not I followed, and we all ran out into the woods.

"We''re giving you our wedding gift." Ani said, as she began unloading a basket.

"I'm slightly against it," Jane said, "But it's good chi."

"Plus, you people are growing on us." Alec said.

"Alright then!" Ani set a jar, honey, lavender, peppermint and salt on a near by tree stump, along with pink paper and a red pen. "Ya'll come here, stand in a circle with Nessie facing north."

We did, and Ani then lit four white taper candles, handing one to each of us. She passed the paper and pen to me. "Write your full name, and date of birth, then write Jake's full name and date of birth, if you know it."

"Kay." I wrote it all up, and Ani directed me to pass the paper to Jane. I was sure I was dreaming. Absolutely positively dreaming. Jane folded it three times, and dripped some wax on it. She passed it to Alec, and he to Ani, and both did the same as Jane. When the small folded paper was mine again, I was told to kiss it, and then I put it in the jar. Ani handed me the honey.

"Honey for sweet kiss," I said, as I poured it in. She had told me what to say. Jane took up the salt. "To make it pure," Alec added the peppermint, "To make him feel the same," and Ani added the lavender, "For love true." I sealed up the jar nice and tight, and we covered it in wax. Then, I dug a hole and burried the jar.

"Fabulous!" Ani said, hugging me. "Honey sweet, pure as earth, true as spring and as lovely as sleep!"

I woke up to the smell of bacon. I shook my head, attempting to decide if Marcus and the others had been dream.

"Weird." I decided, looking at my open window. "Just plain weird." Then, I hopped out of bed, and checked the calender. October 31st. My wedding day!


	25. Everything Alice

Nine

Weddings

But Ours...

DISCLAIMER: I don't own any characters, places, etc. in this story. Stephine Meyer does, along with the Canadian Government(I think). I just took where she left her story(ies) and ran with it.

Twenty-Five: Bride Maids,

Hair, Dresses, And Everything Alice

"Well, you slept in!" Esme chimed, as I came down stairs in my Pjs. Alice was on me in an instant.

"Come on! We have so much do do!" She began dragging me to her room, Rosie, Jane, Mum and Ani following closely.

"She hasn't eaten yet!" Esme shouted.

"We're just washing her hair. She can eat as we do the rest!" Rosalie called, as Ani and Alice shoved my head into the hair salon sink- Alice went right over the top, when it came to dressing me.

"Shampoo!" Alice called, and Ani handed her some clear stuff. Alice lathered it in my hair, letting it sit without washing it out.

"Lavender water!" Ani handed it to her, and it as well was added to my foaming hair.

"Rose water!" It was added. "Curl shampoo!" Added. "Shimmer lights!" added. Finally, when I thought the weight of the bubbles would pull my head down, Alice rinsed my hair.

"Conditioner!"

"Good grief!" I said.

"Hey! You wanna look pretty, right!" it wasn't a question. I was conditioner-ed and rinsed, and then shuffled into the chair before Rose.

She began to blow dry my hair, her quick movements with a hair brush turning my hair into lovely flowing curls.

"What shampoo was that?" I asked.

"Never mind that. Stay still." Rose divided my hair into three sections, and took the longest to the back, securing it with a hair elastic. Then, the divided the second section into two, braiding each, and pinning them off to the side. The last section she brought back wards, leaving a few curls around my face, and pinned the hair back. Rose took the two braids, and curled them over my hair in a figure eight shape. After pinning that, she unbraided the leftover length, letting the curls flow down.

"Perfect!" Rose said, handing me a mirror to see for myself. It was gorgeous.

"Rose, how-"

"Hair dresser, France, 1956."

"Can I feed her now?" Esme said, coming in with a plate of eggs, bacon and toast.

"Yes."

I ate as Jane and Ani painted my nails and toenails.

"French manicures are always classy." Ani insisted, as Jane and she painted them perfectly.

"If you say so."

Once the nails were dry, we all went downstairs into the theater room, and Alice put on the old home videos.

"you were so cute!" Mum said, holding my hand. "And now you're beautiful."

"I hope you know that was some of my best cutlery." Esme said, as we watched me bend silver spoons and forks. "Not that I ever used them- but they were good quality!"

"And there you are with Daddy." Alice said, as we watched Daddy teach me piano, as I sat on his lap. "Remember that song?"

"How could I forget!" I declared. "It took me ages to get it right!"

"And there you are at Christmas!" Rosie said. "You look so tiny in Jasper's old army hat!" Rose said. "and there's you and Emmett play fighting! He still can't get over how fast you were."

"You were really beautiful." Mum said, "But I have something really funny to show you now."

She dashed to the DVD player, and put in different disc. The screen was filled with the image of Jake and Daddy, in what appeared to be a dance studio.

"Why are you making me do this!" Jake asked, furious.

"Because it's the best way of getting back, shy of killing you. Plus," Daddy added, adjusting the camera. "Nessie gets to watch this when she's getting ready for the wedding."

"No. No way!" Jake said, determined.

"It's not as bad as it could be, remember that. Now!" Daddy walked up to face Jake. "Put your hand on my waist."

"What?"

"Just do it, Jacob." Jake did, and Daddy put his hand on Jake's shoulder.

"Hold my hand."

"Huh?" Jake was looking like he'd faint. Daddy sighed and grabbed his hand.

"Waltz. One, two three, one..."

"Are they seriously dancing!" I screamed.

"Yep." Alice nodded.

"Edward said it would be the best way to get back at him." Rosalie insisted.

"He really isn't that bad a dancer." Esme defended.

"Anyways. It is," Ani checked her watch. "Thee o'clock. The wedding begins at six, when the sun goes down. We should get you in your dress!"

We all paraded up stairs, and I was dressed first. Everyone else had had their hair done before I woke up, so that was simple. Jane and Ani put the skirt of the dress over my head, and guided my arms through the sleeves. Then, Jane laced the back up, as Rose fixed my hair a bit and Ani fluffed out my skirt. Alice, Ani, Rose and Mum all got into the brides maid dresses, and Jane got into her pink flower girl dress. Esme pulled herself into her dress as well, even though she wasn't a brides maid.

Finally, I stood in front of the mirror, and Alice placed a lacy veil over my head.

"Well?" Mum said, near tears.

The dress was lovely. It was strapless, the bodice fitted tightly and the skirt flowing out into a train about three feet long. It was bright white, and the lace covering most of it almost glittered. Pearls and grindstones made the dress glow, and the little bow at the waist was tiny and perfect. It was beautiful.

"I love it!"

"We weren't sure if you'd like our dresses, though," Rose said turning in the mirror. They were all in a crimson red dress, though each was a different style. Mum's had quarter length sleeves, and came to her knees. Alice's was sleeveless, and reached to the top of her knees, and Rose's had small sleeves and was floor length. Ani's was spaghetti strapped, with an empress cut and reached her ankles. Esme's was blackish purple, long sleeved and trailed across the floor.

"They're lovely too."

"I hate mine." Jane intoned. The pink was soft enough to suit the color palette, but bright enough to stand out. The bows and flounces made Jane look sweet, but suited her appearance.

"No, Jane." I said, looking in her ruby eyes. "It really looks good on you."

"We have something for the bride." Came a voice from the door, and Picia and Athenodora ghosted through the door, each carrying a small box. When they reached us, Picia looked at Jane with curiosity.

"Don't ask."

"Here." Athenodora opened her box, and took out a diamond incrusted necklace. It came with matching earrings, and bracelets. She took my hair to the front of me, and did up the necklace.

"Something old, as well as new."

"And this," Picia took hair pins from her box, and they were adorned with pearl, diamond and aquamarine. "Something blue." she added them to my curls.

"They are yours to keep." Picia intoned. "So long as they are well treated. They're priceless."

"And shall bring great fountune if ever sold." Athenodora added. "Though we trust you would not do such a thing of grave disrespect."

"Of coarse not." I said, and looked in the mirror. Their gifts, though odd, added to the dress's wonder.

"Ma'am," Jane said, to Picia.

"What?"

"You'll be needing contacts, to hide your eyes. As will Athenodora and I."

"Yes, I suppose. You have some?" Picia asked Esme, and she nodded. "Would you care, then, to lend us some?"

"Follow me." Esme led them off to Alice's closet. As soon as they were gone, Jane turned to me.

"Do you realize where those pieces are from?"

"No..."

"The necklace was Marie Antonette's, and the hair pins were Josephine's. As in, the Josephine's."

"Really?"

"Heck yeah."

"Come on," Alice said, taking my hand and pulling me to the door. "Lets get you there- it's four thirty already!"


	26. Weddings, Vows and Surprises

Nine

Weddings

But Ours...

DISCLAIMER: I don't own any characters, places, etc. in this story. Stephine Meyer does, along with the Canadian Government(I think). I just took where she left her story(ies) and ran with it.

Twenty-Six:

Vows, Weddings,

Surprises and Flowers

We arrived at the park at five thirty, with Picia and Athenodora in the car with us. They were fascinated by modern technology, and the Cullen cars were amazing to them. Alice and Rose had distributed contacts where needed, and now we prepared to go through the back door of the building we'd rented. Esme had booked the grounds, and they came with chairs and a building to get ready in.

"Jasper!" Alice screamed, and he came running, the flour dusting behind him.

"Yes dear?"

"Oh, for god's sake, change into this! Here!" She shoved him his suit, and began frantically blowing the sugar from his hair. "Of all the times to bake!"

"I know dear." He knew enough to not object- Jasper wasn't stupid.

"Well? Go get dressed! Now!" Jasper hurried off, and we went into the small building.

"Ani, where's the boquet?" Rose asked, brushing the nonexistent tangles from my hair.

"Right here." Ani put the flowers in my hands, and I gasped. They were lovely. The roses, baby's breath, everything was gorgeous.

"Nessie," I heard a voice call my name, and turned to see Zafrina and her sisters- or what ever they are. Alice had loaned them animal print dresses for the wedding, and their heels easily made them close to seven feet tall. "We have something for you."

"It is to be the 'borrowed' thing." Katchiri intoned, the term clearly unfamiliar.

"It was from my wedding, ages ago. To bring luck and happiness." Senna added. "Here." she presented me with a tiger cub's paw, that had been mummified and strung on twine.

"Oh. Thank you!" I said, and tucked it in my bodice. I wasn't sure how to accept a tiger's paw, but the Amazon's were some of my favourite people. Mum and Daddy had taken me on a holiday there, and it had been so fun.

"You're welcome. We hope you will visit some time soon." Zafrina said, and they walked out. No hugs, no kisses, but vampires weren't to lovey dovey, I guess.

"Ready?" Rosie asked, happy. I sighed.

"Yep." I stood up, and put on my heels.

We walked out the door, and I saw Daddy waiting.

"I get to walk you down the isle." He said, proudly.

"How?"

"We told everyone you're his cousin. He's the closest male family member." Alice said, clever as always. "Lets go!"

"Do we have to?" Jane asked, pulling at her dress, and taking her basket of petals from Ani. "I hate this dress."

"Come on. You can change for the reception."

"Thank goddess." Jane got ready. Alice, Mum, Rose and Ani all hugged me quickly and took their place in line, and Daddy took my arm.

"Here we go."

We walked into the tent with Alec playing some song Daddy had found on a portable key board. Most of the tent was filled with locals- the town was kinda small, and everyone knew the Cullens, and all the vampires who had showed up. Everyone had the same contacts in, and rose when we entered.

Jake stood at the end of the isle with Leah, Seth, Quil and Embry beside him, and beamed when he saw me. Beside him stood the minister, but who cares about him, anyways?"

I couldn't help but notice that Aro's eyes looked at Jane with humor and disbelief, and I heard her hiss "don't ask" as we passed.

Finally, after what seemed to be eternity, I was standing beside Jake, and my father was right beside me, nudging Jake aside a bit.

"Who gives the bride away?" the minister asked.

"I do." Daddy said, after a millisecond of hesitation. He lifted my veil, kissed my cheek and whispered, "You better know what you're doing." then, grudgingly he took my hand and put it in Jake's, and took his seat in the chair beside Jasper.

" Dearly beloved," the minister started, "we are gathered here today before this witnesses to join Renesemee and Jacob in holy matrinony, a state to be treated reverently, with respect and love. It is into this holy estate that Jake and Nessie now come to be joined to unite two hearts and lives, blending interests, hopes and intentions. Do you enter into this state and vow willingly?"

"We do." I said, after a side glance at Jake, and he smiled.

"Is there any objections from those here gathered? If so, speak now, or forever hold your peace." Jasper tightened his grip on my father's shoulder, and Mum shot him a bad look.

"Jacob," the groom began again. "Will you take Nessie to be your wedded wife, to have and to hold in the holy estate of matrimony? Will you love her, comfort her, and keep her, in sickness and health, and forsaking all others, keep yourself unto her, so long as you both shall live?"

"I better," Jake said, and everyone but Daddy laughed. "I will."

"And Nessie," the minister turned to me, "Will you take Jacob to be your wedded husband, to have and to hold in the holy estate of matrimony? Will you love him, comfort him, and keep him, in sickness and health, and forsaking all others, keep yourself unto him, so long as you both shall live?"

"I will."

"And what pledge have you, Jacob, to present to Nessie?"

"A ring."

"And Nessie, to you accept the pledge of love given in this ring?"

"I do."

"Then Jacob, repeat after me," the minister handed Jake the ring, and Jake took my hand. "With this ring,"

"with this ring,"

"I thee wed."

"I thee wed."

"And with all my worldly goods I thee endow."

"And with all my worldly goods I thee endow." He slid the band on my finger, and I couldn't help but smile.

" May this circlet of pure gold, that is without end, be a symbol of your evermore pure, changeless and eternal affection." The minister then turned to me. "And what pledge have you, Nessie, to present to Jake?"

"A ring."

"And Jake, to you accept this pledge of love given in this ring?"

"I do."

"Then Nessie, repeat after me. This ring,"

"This ring,"

"I give to thee,"'

"I give to thee,"

"In a token and pledge,"

"In a token and pledge,"

"Of my ever constant faithfulness, and love evermore."

"Of my ever constant faithfulness, and love evermore."

"May this circlet of pure gold, that is without end, be a symbol of your evermore pure, changeless and eternal affection." the minister finished off. "And may these rings given be an outward and inward symbol of the bond you now share, spiritually, mentally and physically, between your two hearts, as long as you both shall live.

"Dearly beloved ones, this day marks a new era in your lives. Henceforth you travel life's pathway together, and never alone. Let love forever be enthroned in your hearts.

"By what means to you declare this new chapter in your lives together?" the minister asked Jake.

"A kiss."

"And do you accept this new life together, Nessie?"

"Hell yeah!" another ripple of laughter.

"And who shall witness this vow of commitment?" Leah stepped forward.

"I do." she was in a skirt and suit, and looked damn cute.

"And you will ensure that this commitment is always kept?"

"Defineately."

"Then Jacob, repeat after me. Today, as I give myself to you my mind is clear and my commitment,"

"Today, as I give myself to you my mind is clear and my commitment,"  
"is strong and without reservation. I take you to be my life's partner."

"Is strong and without reservation. I take you to be my life's partner."  
"I will never leave you nor forsake you;"

"I will never leave you nor forsake you;"  
"I will spend all my days at your side."

"I will spend all my days at your side."  
"and we will share a lifetime of eternal, immeasurable love."

"And we will share a lifetime of eternal, immeasurable love."

"And Nessie," The minister asked, "Do you return this commitment, which is to be sealed with a kiss?"

"I do."

"And do you, Jacob, accept this commitment?"

"I do."

"And who witnesses this commitment?"

"I do." Ani said, stepping forward.

"And you will ensure that this commitment is always kept?"

"Damn straight I will." her cockney accent poked through, which added to her words.

"So, Nessie, repeat after me." The Minister said, addressing me again. "Today, as I give myself to you my mind is clear and my commitment,"

"Today, as I give myself to you my mind is clear and my commitment,"  
"is strong and without reservation. I take you to be my life's partner."

"Is strong and without reservation. I take you to be my life's partner."  
"I will never leave you nor forsake you;"

"I will never leave you nor forsake you;"  
"I will spend all my days at your side."

"I will spend all my days at your side."  
"and we will share a lifetime of eternal, immeasurable love."

"And we will share a lifetime of eternal, immeasurable love."

"You may kiss the bride." I threw myself at Jake, and he caught me and kissed me back. An 'awe' ran through the crowd, and Jake managed to pry me off him.

"Those who have taken these scared vows, and the witnesses, please sign." the minister presented us all with the wedding paper, and I signed my name Nessie Black for the first time.

When we were done signing the paper, we turned to face the crowd as a united front, me holding Jake's hand tightly.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I present you with Jacob and Renesemee Black." Everyone stood and cheered, smiling and happy. Jasper and Ani had promised to make the wedding a success, and it was. We ran down the isle, and everyone threw stuff at us. We ran right outside, and everyone followed us.

"Congratulations!" Carlisle said, pulling me into a hug the minute he came out of the tent.

"Thanks grandpa." I said, happy. He released me, and shook Jake's hand.

"I'm very happy for you both."

"It was a lovely ceremony, Esme." I said, and she smiled.

"I hoped you'd like it. I took out all mentions of god, and rewrote half of it."

"Well, darling, it was lovely." Carlisle said, smiling.

"Um, excuse me," Emmett's voice came across loud and clear through the speakers. " I hate to break it you you all, but if you want food you're going to have to help clear the place and bring in the tables."

everyone laughed an grumbled, and we all filed in and helped to cart out the chairs. The fact that we had vampires and super strong wolf boys making up half the guest list made this job really simple, and Esme, Alice, Rose and Ani, along with my Mum and Jane had the tables set in seconds. The flowers were beautiful, and everyone took their seats. Jake and I sat at the head table, with all our families beside us.

Jasper served the tables himself, an apron covering his suit. Alec pushed the tray behind him, and Seth helped.

"He promised me the left overs." Seth told me in passing.

"What's on the menu after appetizers, Uncle Jazzie?" I asked, and he beamed at my pet name.

"Well, pasta, hand made, with a tomato basil sauce, family recipe. After that there's steak cooked to taste, with mixed vegitables, mashed garlic potatoes served with butter and gravy. Then dessert, which is my special black forest cake, tea or coffee, and cupcakes for younger guests."

"Fabulous." I said.

"Thank you." he poured us our wine, and Alec ladled out the soup into bowls.

"Why are you helping?" I asked him.

"It gives me an excuse not to eat." Alec shrugged, and toddled his cart off to the next table.


	27. Music, Dance and Comic Drama

Nine

Weddings

But Ours...

DISCLAIMER: I don't own any characters, places, etc. in this story. Stephine Meyer does, along with the Canadian Government(I think). I just took where she left her story(ies) and ran with it.

Twenty-Seven: Dance,Music,

Drama, And The Best Dang

Wedding Cake Since Betty Crocker Cooked

Emmett, thank god, wasn't in charge of the music for our first dance. Daddy was. The floor was cleared of tables in seconds, and soon the music was set up.

"Ladies and gentlemen, may I present the bride and groom!" claps and cheers took over the room, and for a second you couldn't hear he music. Then, finally, I could hear it. Iris, by the Goo Goo Dolls. It was fabulous, one of my favourite modern waltzes, and Daddy knew that.

"Well, Jake," I said, as we swayed across the floor. "You haven't stepped on my toes yet."

"Thank your father." Jake whispered in my ear, and kissed my cheek.

"I know. The video told all."

"Did you watch the part where I had to dip him?" Jake asked, smiling, and I shook my head.

"It went something like this." he dipped me, and I smiled like crazy.

"He taught you well," I said, as he turned me under his arm.

"Of course. Anything for you."

"I was either dance or be dead."

"That it was."

The song ended, and everyone clapped.

"Alright!" Emmett seized control of the mike. "Enough with the slow, sappy songs with lots of lovey dovey lyrics! Quil," Quil gave the thumbs up, and started some music with a heavy dance beat. "Let's dance!" the floor was flooded in instants, thank to Ani and Jasper's mood control.

You have not seen dancing till you've seen immortals dance. Seriously. The Much music training had left the crowd of vampires up to date, and it was insane to see them dance like they did. Jane and Alec actually and one of those circle things, cheering them on as they did 'Thriller' identical to Michael Jackson.

Trust the wolves and Emmett to play the songs like "Werewolf of London', and the theme song from Ghost Busters. Everyone went wild when Jasper unveiled his perfect moonwalk on Billie Jean, which had Alice declaring "I had no idea you could do that!" the entire evening.

But, because the crowd was from 500 bc to present, Emmett surrendered and played some traditional pieces, and the entire floor was doing a fox trot in seconds, even the humans who had been pulled to the floor by vampires who were willing teachers. It was in this dance that Daddy claimed me, and he twirled me around the floor gracefully.

"I have to tell you, Nessie," He said, looking at me. "I still can't believe I let you marry him."

"Oh, tisk! You're as happy as I am."

` " I am. But you're not my little girl anymore." he looked dejected.

"I always will be your little girl." I told him, and he gave me a melencoly smile. "And you'll always be Daddy."I hugged him, and he smiled. "Besides, you'll be a grandpa soon enough."

"Oh, thanks for reminding me!" He twirled me quickly for revenge, and I laughed.

"Jake is insisting our baby calls you Drac."

"Really?"

"Yep. And Billy's Pappa Paw."

"Pappa Paw! Well, that is fitting, I suppose." Daddy sighed. "But I still can't get over how you've grown. Seven years is hardly anything, and then time already passes quickly."

"I know, Daddy. It's flown. But we have eternity- and you can't change genetics."

Emmett and the wolves had everyone dancing and happy for a good hour, the only down part being when we had to stop one of the nomads from carting Charlie out the door. Jake swung me onto the floor, and Seth qued 'Hungry like the Wolf' on the stereo.

"Is this at all what you expected?" I screamed over everyone's stomping feet and the music.

"No. I imagined something much worse!"

"Well, be happy we don't have to wait till the honey moon anymore!"

"That is a relief!" we laughed, and danced like lunatics.

Finally, after another half hour, Jasper annouced that the cake was available, and everyone rushed to the table. Jasper handed me the silver knife, and closed his eyes as me and Jake cut into the perfect cake.

"Ready?" Jake said, his cake in hand.

"Rea-" he didn't give me time to speak, and the cake was shoved into my face.

"Why you-" I tackled him, and we fell to the floor, me smearing cake into his face. We laughed, and Jake helped me up.

Alec and Jasper served the cake, and then they unveiled the cupcakes. It was crazy, how well decorated they were. They were iced like traditional Halloween characters, minus the witch, because Ani had insisted against the green faces and warts. One of the vampire cupcakes looked mysteriously like Aro, right down to the red eyes, and I had to laugh at that.

Then, I took my place on stage, and all the eligible women in the house- including vampires, got ready to catch the bouquet.

"Ready?" I said, over my shoulder, and they all cheered. I threw it, and turned to see Ani catch it.

"Yay!" Ani cried, as everyone else sighed. Ani jumped into Alec's arms, and they kissed. That got odd looks, let me tell you.

Alec, after a very pointed stare from Caius, dropped Ani and held her waist, both smiling like loons. Ani wiped her mouth and giggled, and they hustled off the dance floor.

The music started up again, when another traditional piece came on I was claimed by the one person I thought I'd never have to dance with.

Aro.

"Do you like your gifts?" He asked, as we danced perfectly in step. "Sulpicia and Athenodora picked them especially for you."

"Yes, they are lovely. Where on earth did you get them?" I asked. I could hate the man's guts, but damned if I wasn't going to be polite. He could kill me, for god's sake.

"Picked them up, here or there. I forget half the things I have." he shrugged. So they don't mean much to him, eh. "They suit you, though."

"Really?"

"Yes. Better then the women who wore them originally. I suppose my Picia told you were they were from?"

"Yes. You knew them?" I said, slightly impressed.

"Quite well. Marie shouldn't have been killed- she had no idea how the people hated her."

"And Josphine?"

"Oh, they were originally my mother's gems, but her darling emperor stole them in one of his conquests. So they weren't hers to begin with."

"Was your mother wealthy?"

"I quite forget. But the dead mean little. What matters is your child, which is yet to be born." of course he had reason for talking to me. He always has a reason for everything. The minute he touched my hand he knew everything.

"What of it?"

"We'd hate for I t to hurt anyone."

"I doubt it would. I didn't."

"True, but this child has shifter blood in it. A different matter entirely. And, as our castle can't house us for months, at least, we might as well stay here to see the child first hand."

"You're going to stay with us?" I asked, shocked.

"I think. I have yet to ask my would be host, but I think it will be hard to refuse. I do hope you won't mind our company. We aren't as bad as we appear." oh, really?

"It should be an honor to receive you, though it may be hard to accomadate you all."

"I will only need a few guards, aside from Jane and Alec. Really, I think Heidi, Demitri and Felix alone aught to do it."

"And how shall you feed?"

"There are murders in the mainland all the time, should be easy to cover."

"Yes, I suppose so." what could I say? He's so used to control, and I do not want to end up dead on my wedding night.

"Mind if I cut in?" Emmett asked, suddenly coming up beside us. Thank god.

"but of course," Aro stepped aside. Even he knew Emmett was unruly and strong.

"Thank you!" I said, and kissed my uncle's cheek. He giggled, literally, giggled.

"It was nothing. Jasper told me to motor it over here, once he knew what was going on. Besides, you haven't danced with me yet!" Quil put on She Wolf, by Shekira, and it was like something off of youtube. Emmett lipsynced the lyrics, and was not dull in his expressions. And, sadly for me, had most of the dance moves memorized.

"Stop it!" I cried out, laughing. I was used to this, but played along. "You're embarrassing me!"

"but of course, my dearest niece."

"You're too cruel."

"Heard it many times."

"And yet, you're still adorable."

"Thank you." Emmett did an over dramatic bow, and I laughed in spite of myself.

"Come on now." Rose said, coming to save me from her delirious husband of a near century. "You're killing the bride."

"But who will she dance with, dearest love of my life?" He kissed her cheek, and Rose smiled.

"Carlisle!" Rose called out, at a normal tone.

"Please tell me Chippy isn't out of his cage," Carlisle said, coming up to our party in a flash.

"No, but I figured you'd like to dance with your lovely, beautiful, and newly married granddaughter." Rose replied.

"She doesn't want me." Emmett said, faking tears.

"I hate to say it, son, but who would?" Carlisle asked, and began to dance with me.

"Rosie would." Emmett said, swirling Rose far to fast around in a chaotic circle.

"Yes!" Rosalie confirmed. "For the nincompoop, silly, out of place, lunatic, crazily adorable husband you are."

"Aw. Now ain't that sweet?" Rosie kissed him, and I was yet again reminded of how lucky my family really was on the love scale.

"So," Carlisle asked, smiling. "Enjoying married life?"

"I've barely spent anytime with my new husband, but it's fun."

"Well, sweet, that's the point of a wedding. It's all fair and well to love some one and marry them, but it gives your family one last chance to say goodbye."

"It's not like I'm dying, Carlisle!"

"I know that, I know. But really, it won't be the same. You've grow, Nessie, and sadly, most of us can't grow with you." I he looked dejected, and I sighed.

"Are you going to get all sad and lonely on one of the happiest nights of my life?"

"No. But it is a relief Esme hasn't moved you too far-"

"What?" Carlisle looked as if he'd just let the cat out of the bag.

"Nothing. Lovely night, isn't it?"

"What was that, grandpa?"

"Really, it's all turned out quite nice."

" Carlisle..."

"You know that dress is made partially from all the family wedding dresses, including my mothers."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"And you've kept a wedding dress, but can't keep a secret?" I said, knowing the gig was up. "Come on, you've already given enough away."

"Fine. I tried. It's on our property, just a little whiles away from Ani's greenhouse."

"Really?"

"Yes. And If I tell anymore, I will be killed."

"What was that, my dear husband?" Esme asked, over hearing our conersation.

"er... Nothing..."

"So help me, if you have told her about the house, I will force you to buy that penthouse suite at the Ritz I've been dying for ever since 1953! And I know how you hated that place."

"For good reason. The height was terrifying." Carlisle broke away from me, and faced his wife.

"You wouldn't die if you fell, and I wouldn't jump again."

"And how am I to know that?" this was the one point of argument between Carlisle and Esme- whether or not suicide was on Esme's list of things to do after renovating Buckingham Palace. Of all the things to argue about, go figure?

"How would you not?"

"Amazingly, dearest, I can't read minds."

"Well, I wouldn't expect you to, either."

" So what is it exactly that you don't like about me worrying about you?"

"that you'd think you don't mean enough to me to be worth living for!" Esme spat out, angry. Well, this is getting soap opera-ish.

"Oh." Was all Carlisle managed to say, and they both looked at the floor.

"Oh, good grief!" I declared, and pushed Carlisle in the back hard enough to send him careening into Esme's arms. "Will you kiss and make up already?"

"Fine." Esme said, faking anger, but smiling.

I left them kissing to find my own husband.

Jasper pulled the car over on the side of the road, and Jake sighed.

"For god's sake man! Your wife, sisters and mother had me dancing for hours on end! Show sme mercy and take me home!"

"On one condition." Jasper turned in his seat to face us, looking desperate. "I will only drive you to your wedding gift if you swear to do nothing- N-O-T-H-I-N-G till I'm a good ten miles away. Please."

"Why?" I asked, smiling. Jasper knew we were playing with him.

"The last thing I want to be aware of is your honeymoon. I beg of you, don't even touch till I'm ten miles away. After that, anything goes, but please."

"What's in it for us?" Jake asked, smiling.

"A king sized bed."

"Drive." Jake said, and extended his hand.

We barely made our deal with Jasper...


	28. Plans For Eternity

Nine

Weddings

But Ours...

**A/N: Alright, my dear little readers! last chappie for this book, at least. Give me a week and your next part of the story will be up! YAY! Any ideas, questions, concerns complains, suggestions? Either review or PM me. And, if you subscribe, our fave or even review, I promise I'll get back to you! I think over the course of this plank week I might just post a tidbit funny thing for you about Esme and a revovating project gone wrong... but that's only if you fave me or PM me, so you're best to do what I say!**

**~Love, peace and chocolate! Elle  
**

DISCLAIMER: I don't own any characters, places, etc. in this story. Stephine Meyer does, along with the Canadian Government(I think). I just took where she left her story(ies) and ran with it.

Twenty-Eight:

Honeymoons, Uninvited

Guests And Plans For Eternity

"So help me god, Nessie, if you don't open this door I will kill you!"

"You wouldn't dare." I said from the shower, totally confident. Jake had been complaining about be hogging the shower all day long, but I had good reason. The water was so warm, and Esme hadn't managed to get the heater installed in time. I was freezing, and I couldn't stand by Jake all the time- even though I wanted to.

" Would too. Now unlock the door!"

"Or what?"

"Or I'll huff and puff and blow your house down!"

"Ha ha h-" I was cut short by the sound of wood splintering, and peeked around the shower curtain timidly.

"You idiot!" I cried out, as Jake brushed the slivers of wood from his shirt. "Esme will kill you!"

"So let her." Jake came up and kissed me sweetly. "Compared to what Rose and Em did to their honeymoon houses, this is nothing."

"Well, that is true." I said, and turned back to my shower.

"Hey!" Jake said, out raged.

"What?"

"You totally have to stop hogging the water, and give me some!"

"And if I don't?"

"Then you're going to have to share." Jake climbed into the shower behind me, and I turned to face him. I wrapped my arms around him.

"Well, I can't object to that."

"Alright, love birds!" Alice cried, launching through the front door with five suitcases in one hand and the other palm plastered against her eyes. "Cover everything that needs to be covered and get packing!"

Jake and I looked at each other, and then back at Alice.

"Whaff?" Jake said, his mouth full of frosted flakes. We had been eating breakfast, and were sitting quietly at our kitchen table. Alice peeked around her fingers, and sighed in relief.

"Thank god. Rose. Essie, its okay." Alice called out the door, and dropped the suitcases. "Now!"Alice pointed two petite fingers at us. "Get packing!"

"I thought Rosie was planning our honeymoon!" I said, looking to Rose for confirmation.

"Yeah, but you know I can't boss you around. Jake on the other hand..."

"Alright, alright, I'm going." Jake said. He knew better then to mess with Rosalie.

"But I thought this was our honeymoon." I said, looking at them all.

"Nope. This is your house. Carlisle and I bought it for you." Esme said, timidly.

"Or rather, he bought it, she renovated it." Alice said, as she began whisking away our dishes and cutlery.

"Anyways, the plane leaves in two hours, get packing."

"We just woke up." I said. It was true. After the shower escapade me and Jake had curled up on the couch, watching some stupid soap opera in our Pjs. It had put us right to sleep- we weren't the 'oh my god' drama types.

"What did you do to the door?" Rose asked from our room, apparently packing something for us.

"please say you didn't hurt the wall. I can stand a broken door, but walls are hard to replace." Esme pleaded.

"We didn't. I just had to break the door down."

"Why?"

"he thought I was choking." I said, lying sweet and quick.

"come on. I refuse to pack for the mutt." Rose declared, coming from our room loaded down with about half a dozen duffel bags and two full sized suitcases- one under each arm. For all her burdens, she walked with runway grace.

"love you too, Auntie Rosie." Jake said, and Rose smiled. Most of their hatred was just for jokes now, I'd kinda united them since birth, and they got along better thanks to mutual love of me and cars.

"Well, everyone does, wolf." Rosalie, ever modest.

Jake and I packed what was left to pack, Esme called people to replace the door, and in minutes we were on our way to the mainland to catch our plane.

When we got there, we were surprised to see nearly the entire family there as well, along with a few of our guests.

"Well?" Daddy said, taking me into a hug.

"Well... what?"

"You're really married, aren't you? I still can't believe it."

"Believe it, Daddy." I turned to the side to display the baby bump. It was more prominent then before, but I wasn't in fat jeans yet- thank god, or Alice and Rose would have taken me shopping, and that's not as fun as it sounds.

"It will be interesting to see how the child turns out." Picia said smoothly, and drawing my attention to the seven looming figures clothed in either black or white.

"Are you getting a flight back to Italy?" I asked them all. Alice had managed to get Picia and Athenodora into pants, but even they were white. Jane was in jeans and a black hoodie, and everyone looked like they did before. It was the contacts that kept them from being too menacing.

"Not at all, dear Nessie." Aro smiled, and moved forward to take my hand. He looked at Ani, who was standing close to Carlisle, and she looked right back. Obviously, Ani was protecting my thoughts. "Carlisle has proved himself a wondrous host, and offered to show is this great Toronto we've heard so many things about."

"So we're flying to Toronto first?" I asked, piecing together Rose's surprise honeymoon.

"Yes. And then you and your Jacob are off somewhere, and we get to see the city."

"I still don't see why we can't just go home, already." Caius asked. Marcus seemed fascinated by the flight charts above us, and studied them with his usual apathetic stare.

"Caius, dearest, Aro has explained this. The castle's under repair, and to go there now would expose us to the workers and general public."

"Workers can go missing."

"Yes dear, but do you really feel like learning dry walling? It will ruin my nails, I'm sure." Athenodora appeared to spend most of her time pacifying her husband, and if I were her I'd be mighty bored of him by now.

"We won't take away from your trip, poco carissimo, I can assure you of that."

"We should finalize where you're going to stay while there." Carlisle drew Aro's attention away from me. "Trust me, you don't want to spend your days in alleyways and basements."

After the Volturi and Carlisle had become well and truly engrossed in their converation, I sent a message to Jake via speacial gift.

_What did he call me?_

Jake shrugged. "Beats me."

"Little dear one," Daddy whispered in my ear.

"Little?"

"In terms of age." Daddy reasurred me. "I'll be spending quite a bit of time with them, so I've brushed up on my Italian again."

"You're coming too?"

"Of course. Just to Toronto. Carlisle hasn't been there since it was a port town- his knowledge of the city is a bit out dated."

"Yeah, just a bit." Jake said.

"Well, the port was only closed in seventeen something." Daddy defended.

"Yes, the odd thee hundred years is hardly anything."

"To them, it isn't a day."

"I'm coming too!" Ani said behind me, and I turned to face her. "Your very own portable midwife."

"Midwife?"

"I can't have you misscarying when your wherever you two are going." Carlisle said, hearing our conversation.

"Don't worry, I'll make myself scarce throughout most of the trip. You can do your thing and I'll do mine."

"Don't you think you'd get lost? Or hurt? Is that really safe?" Ani looked at me incredulously, and pointed to her chest.

"Witch+ threatened= zappy zappy, remember?"

"Yeah. So you'll be fine then?"

"Oh, totally!"

"The flight's about to be called!" Alice decared, running up to us with Rose at her tiny heels.

" There's a car to pick you up at the airport." Rose explained to me and Jake. "Your luggage is on board already. Stay at the hotel for a night, then get to the airport by at least noon, if not earlier. Your tickets are at the West Jet station, under your names. Pay with the family credit card."

"'Kay." Jake said, swinging both his and my carryon backpack onto his shoulders. "Let's go."

And in that state, being trailed by my father, three witches, my grandfather and at least five people intent on killing us, me and Jake walked to the flight.

"This will be interesting." Jake muttered in my ear.

"No duh." I said, pointing to my stomach.

"No. If the kid's anything like you, it'll be as sweet as honey." Jake looked down at me, beaming, and I smiled.

"What a line." I kissed him. "but truly, what future does my belly hold?"

"One that will hopefully last for eternity." Jake said, as we walked together through the airport.

"Yes. Eternitty's really all we can ask for."


	29. NOTICE PLEASE READ!

** !NOTICE! **

**I HAVE STOPPED WRITING JAKE/NESSIE FFs FOR A WHILE, SIMPLY BECAUSE I WAS OUT OF IDEAS XD. **

**FOR PEOPLE READING NINE WEDDINGS BUT OURS... YOU'RE LUCKY, BECAUSE I WROTE A SEQUEL TO IT CALLED SNOWED IN AND HOWLING**

**FOR SNOWED IN READERS... SORRY, BUT YOU'RE OUT OF LUCK AT PRESENT TIME. I MIGHT BEGIN TO WRITE AGAIN, BUT FOR NOW IT'S VERY DOUBTFUL.**

**IN THE MEANTIME, PLEASE READ MY OTHER FFs, AND IF THERE'S ANY STORY YOU WANT TO HEAR, JUST SEND ME A PM WITH YOUR REQUEST. **

**I ALSO BETA, SO IF YOU ARE WORKING ON A FRESH FF OR ARE REWORKING AN EXISTING ONE, FEEL FREE TO PM ME.**

**LOVE, PEACE AND CHOCOLATE!**

**ELLE  
**


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